Lisa Heyamoto: Deputies' tattoos go undercover

Only one thing can adorn the long arm of the law, and it's made of a machine-washable, cotton-poly blend.

The Sacramento County Sheriff's Department has instated a new no-show policy for officers with tattoos, requiring them to cover up their ink while out in the field.

The goal, says spokesman Tim Curran, is to keep it classy, but the policy is needling the deputies union, which says it should have been consulted before it went into effect.

"In this day and age, there are probably a lot of members who do have a tattoo," said Brannon Polete, vice president of the Deputy Sheriffs' Association. "We would at least want to entertain a kind of grandfather clause that would allow current employees (to have visible tattoos)."

Curran said the mandate for change came straight from the sheriff after he reportedly received a complaint from a woman suspecting an officer of being a parolee in disguise.

She was later convinced of his status when he didn't steal her car.

* * *

All the good folks of Elmhurst wanted to do was advertise a little neighborhood pride.

So maybe the welcome sign they put on the corner of 37th and T streets looked a little like a tombstone – it was still really nice.

And when someone stole the lights that illuminated it, they thought, hey, at least it's still visible by day.

A big truck finally ran the thing over last week and no silver lining was to be found.

"If they put it back in the same location, the same thing is going to happen," said resident Paul Henderson. "And that would be a shame."

Henderson thinks they should relocate the marker altogether and put it by the Starbucks.

So if that driver gets another shot, at least it will be because he was just tired.

* * *

Kings coach Reggie Theus just couldn't catch a break. Three out-of-the-gate losses, the broken Arco Arena sellout streak, Jane Seymour being voted off "Dancing With the Stars." Bad news everywhere.

So you can hardly blame the guy for getting a little pumped about the squeaker of a win against the Seattle SuperSonics on Tuesday.

At the postgame news conference, Theus talked about motivation and perseverance. But for those who tuned out after the 20-point deficit, one statement revealed the meaning of coming back to Sacramento to win for the first time.

"I have to admit," he said. "I kept the ball."

Hopefully, that ball's not the only keeper.

* * *

So the Kings aren't the only winners to tear up and down the brand new court at Arco.

Slamson, our very own mane man, has officially been dubbed the best mascot in the NBA.

And it wasn't just the cheering and the acrobatics and the rollerblading that did it. Seems Slamson is quite the outdoor adventurer, snagging the coveted title from 27 other large-headed competitors by ascending the Lost Arrow Spire in Yosemite, traversing a 200-foot rope strung over a 3,100-foot drop, unfurling a Kings banner and filming the whole thing – no stunt double required.

"All you're thinking about is the movie 'Cliffhanger,'" Slamson said through his spokesperson, Jaime Morse Mills.

And though Slamson's beard got tangled in the rigging at one point, the un-cowardly lion was never scared.

The first half of Tuesday's game was another story.

About the writer:

• Call The Bee's Lisa Heyamoto, (916) 321-1261.