Can you help a first-time dog owner do the right thing? We have friends coming to visit, and they are bringing their 10-month-old boxer with them. We have a 7-month-old goldendoodle who is very sweet and gentle. Both dogs are crate-trained, neutered males. We have three kids and our friends have two kids, so we will have five kids under the age of 10 as well as these two dogs.
D.B., via e-mail
Arrange for the dogs to get to know each other somewhere off your property. Give the dogs enough exercise in advance so they're tired when they meet. Then meet in an open area, such as a park, and walk the dogs on leash in a parallel fashion. Be armed with distractions like treats and balls to allow the dogs to be aware of each other but not too focused on each other.
Your goal is to help the dogs feel relaxed during the first meeting and to associate each other with the good feelings of a walk. Each person walking a dog should praise his dog's relaxed muscle tone. Be ready to distract each dog with a toy or a treat at the first sign of muscle tension.
Do not allow the dogs to meet and greet until they seem relaxed at a distance. Ideally, the dogs should have relaxed tails and wiggling bodies when they first meet. A wagging tail does not always mean a friendly dog. A tense wag is different from loose, relaxed tail-wagging.
If the dogs are meeting on leash, you can further prevent tension by keeping a loose leash and by keeping the dog walkers' bodies relaxed. Family members can help set a positive tone by letting go of all muscle tension, giving the dogs no direct eye contact and by talking in a happy tone in a stream of friendly talk: "Go play. Have fun. Oh, what a nice doggy!" Bounce balls and squeak toys to keep the mood light.
If the dogs are relaxed, it would be ideal to allow off-leash play in a fenced area, such as a vacant tennis court, before taking them home.
When you take the dogs home, have them go into the backyard first and then into the house. Again, use toys and treats to keep the dogs' minds on the people. Keep the boxer on leash once inside the house, and give the goldendoodle complete freedom.
It is also important to properly introduce your children to the other family's dog and vice versa. Start with one dog out at a time, as the children learn to give the dog instructions to sit for a treat or toy and play fetch-type games. Do not allow running and roughhousing.
When both dogs are out, keep their leashes attached. It will be easier to grab a leash if a dog needs to be separated from the fray. The adults will need to put dogs and children into a timeout if there is too much excitement or misbehavior on anyone's part.
As the visit progresses, and if all goes well, you may be able to relax on the constant canine and kid patrol. However, when in doubt, either supervise or give the dogs a timeout for safety.
Susan and Dr. Rolan Tripp, AnimalBehavior.net


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