Before we get to anything important, and, yeah, there is important stuff in TV, I have to get this out.
The Food Network apparently is working on a show that would combine speed eating with the scrambling of "The Amazing Race," and it will probably be called – drum roll, please – "Eat the Clock."
If you like the Fourth of July hot dog eating contest, you'll love this. Possibly.
According to the Hollywood Reporter, in this show, teams of contestants would scramble around Los Angeles looking for participating restaurants. If it's anything like "The Amazing Race," they'll totally disdain local customs. When the contestants get there, they'll go into speed-eating mode, then have to ride a zip line across a waterfall.
OK, made the last part up. If things go well, the show could premiere in early 2009.
***
Speaking of food shows, and, no, we're not to the important stuff yet, lots of people have asked if there's a place to find the original Japanese version of the ridiculously entertaining show "Iron Chef."
Yup, on Fine Living Network (Channel 203 for most Comcast digital cable customers, 232 on DirecTV, 113 on Dish) at 11 o'clock weeknights. Set the recorder or stay up and, as they say in the food business, "enjoy."
You want Olympic counter-programming with an international flair? This is your baby.
In the version from Japan, the judges are dubbed badly, the commentators take a comic-book tone, and it all feels like you're watching an old rubber-monster movie, shot in a kitchen. All that's missing is a guy in a bad Godzilla suit.
And right now, "Iron Chef" is going through Sea Monster Week. What's not to love? I've already watched Battle Octopus and Battle Giant Eel. I'm almost afraid to see what's next. Battle Mothra? Or was he from outer space?
***
Getting a little more important. In case you missed the news, CBS announced this week that Laurence Fishburne will join "CSI," eventually replacing William Petersen as the head of the unit.
Petersen, who plays the geeky-cool Gil Grissom, is leaving the show after 10 episodes this fall, though CBS Entertainment President Nina Tassler told TV critics last month that viewers will see him again now and then. And Sara Sidle (Jora Fox), Grissom's true love, will also make a couple of appearances, including in the season opener Oct. 9.
Fishburne will play a college prof and former pathologist who, Tassler said, has some of the same genetic makeup as serial killers. He will eventually join the "CSI" investigative team.
***
Finally, because someone has to continue to cry some version of "wolf," here's a reminder that the Screen Actors Guild and the Hollywood studios and networks aren't anywhere close to a labor agreement on a contract that expired June 30.
They haven't even negotiated since then, but that doesn't mean they can't find reasons to argue. Earlier this week, SAG and the studios were fighting over whether they've actually talked about anything. (SAG says yes; the studios say SAG's been routinely rejected.)
I bring this up not just to be a bummer but also because SAG and AFTRA, the other actors union – there are two actors unions, and they've been bickering – finally agreed this week to negotiate together with the advertising industry over the commercials contract that expires in October.
That only came after the two unions squabbled over whose idea it was to negotiate together. And you wonder why it takes so long to get deals done in Hollywood.
Meanwhile, SAG members, who are most of the name actors, are still working under the conditions of the expired contract for TV shows and movies, and there is no end in sight. No one is mentioning the word "strike," but it's not out of the picture – hard economic times or not. Just so you know.
Call The Bee's Rick Kushman, (916) 321-1187. Listen to him Thursdays at 8:40 a.m. on NewsTalk 1530 (KFBK) and 8:50 a.m. on Armstrong & Getty, Talk 650 KSTE.
