Lily Andrews reached for the puppet that helps her teach a weekly Bible lesson. She held it beside her; Andrews doesn't like to hide.

She doesn't hide her love for her religion or for teaching at St. Mark's United Methodist Church. She doesn't hide her sexuality or her marriage to Jeanine Perry. She is open, as is her church, considered one of the most welcoming to gay congregants in the Sacramento area.

Andrews sat on the steps in front of the altar, waving her puppet, a camel she calls Conrad. About a dozen children surrounded her. She looked at the students and then at churchgoers in the pews, some wearing rainbow pins.

Andrews, 54, is one of the few openly gay Christian education directors in the United Methodist Church, though at St. Mark's she is one of several gay staff and lay leaders. The church is a tapestry of gay and straight filling the 400-seat sanctuary.

The morning sun illuminated the church, packed for the early service. Today, Andrews said, they would begin a series of lessons about twin brothers Esau and Jacob.

"They were different in many ways," she began. "But they were both loved by God no matter what. He loved them both the same."

The lesson, held during a Sunday service every week, lasted four minutes. St. Mark's has preached a message of acceptance for years. Nearly four decades after the issue of gays in the church was first raised at a denominational conference, it is still being debated among Methodists, as well as other faith groups across the religious landscape today.

St. Mark's is a reconciling congregation, one that welcomes all regardless of sexual orientation. It has an active GLBTI – Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender and Intersex – group. Gays are leaders throughout the church, from Bible study to the choir. Their children make up a third of the kids in Sunday school.

Other Christians believe this contradicts church teaching.

"I'm disappointed that the practice of homosexuality is being condoned," said Pat Miller, executive director of the Confessing Movement, which promotes a return to theological orthodoxy.

The ordination of gay clergy and the marriage of same-sex couples have been debated within the national church since 1972. The national church is against both. In 2008, the denomination's top legislative body gave the official church stance: "The United Methodist Church does not condone the practice of homosexuality and considers the practice incompatible with Christian teaching."

Andrews knows these words by heart.

"I'm incompatible with Christian teaching," she said after the church service. She laughed and rolled her eyes. "Ten years from now we'll be shocked that this was an issue," she said. Andrews believes the church will change. "I don't think it's a question of 'if,' but 'when.' "

Activist spirit

A sign over a desk in the St. Mark's office reads: "Methodists are like parachutes. They only function when open(minded)."

The United Methodist Church has about 8 million U.S. members and 33,000 U.S. churches, according to the denomination's website. It is the third largest Protestant group in the country.

St. Mark's is one of 479 reconciling congregations in the denomination, according to the Reconciling Ministries Network, a movement working toward full inclusion in the church.

It's tucked away in a quiet residential neighborhood off Watt Avenue. The congregation was founded 60 years ago by 12 members with a vision: a progressive congregation active in social justice issues.

That activist spirit is evident today. Worshippers on their way to services pass tables with information about everything from health care to Occupy Sacramento.

Most of the older – and straight – members attend the traditional early service with standard hymns accompanied by an organ and a blue-robed choir. Couples with kids – and many gays – attend the second service with a contemporary band and song lyrics on an overhead screen.

"I don't think which service you attend is a gay or straight thing," said Barry White, who is active in the GLBTI group and regularly attends the early service. "I may be gay, but I'm conservative in a lot of areas and I prefer the traditional music."

On a recent Sunday, a hint of fall was in the air as congregants gathered outside for a cup of coffee between services. They headed in as Brent Bourgeois hurried down the center aisle of the sanctuary to lead the worship band.

Bourgeois was the co-leader of the Sacramento '80s band Bourgeois Tagg. He was also successful in Christian music. Three years ago, he left an evangelical church. Now he's St. Mark's music director.

He is not gay, but he believes gays should be allowed to serve in the church.

"At evangelical churches the policy is sort of don't ask, don't tell," Bourgeois said. "And I don't think that's honest."

Bourgeois organizes the church's popular Moon lecture series, which brings special guest speakers. The first speaker this year was the Rev. Gene Robinson of New Hampshire, the first openly gay bishop in the Episcopal Church. The controversial bishop received a standing ovation.

Bourgeois said this is an example of gays wanting to be active in the Christian community.

"I don't know what people are afraid of," he said. "They bring their kids to church like anyone else and want to be involved. What's wrong with that?"

Welcoming without labels

Chris Harris is a GLBTI member and the church lay leader, the highest ranking position for a congregational member. He attends finance meetings, sits on several committees and helps shape the direction of the church.

He said Methodists are still coming to terms with gay rights in the church.

"We have agreed to disagree," said Harris. Harris said many GLBTI members have told him St. Mark's is the first church where they felt welcomed, not judged. "St. Mark's is not about putting labels on individuals," Harris said.

Andrews finished her lesson, led the congregation in prayer and took her seat in the fifth row next to Jeanine Perry, 56. Partners for 23 years, they married three years ago on National Coming Out Day. They were married at the home of another church member by the Rev. Faith Whitmore, pastor of the church from 2001 to 2011.

By doing so, Whitmore knowingly defied church law. Whitmore married four couples while marrying same-sex couples was legal in California in 2008. Each couple was active in the church. All were together 15 to 30 years.

"It makes me sad that these couples who feel so strongly and live so faithfully were denied the right to marry," Whitmore said.

This is the first time she has spoken publicly about the weddings. "It's a risk I'm willing to take," said Whitmore, who is now executive director at Francis House in Sacramento, which serves the homeless. "These are people who participate fully in the life of the church."

Andrews, Perry, their 16-year-old daughter, Emily, and Perry's mother, Margot Perry, later sat in the church dining hall for the monthly GLBTI luncheon. Nearly three dozen churchgoers socialized over a smorgasbord of chow mein noodles, chile verde, spaghetti and hot wings.

Andrews and Perry spotted a young man in his early 20s, standing by the door, looking unsure.

"Come on in," Perry said. "You can't be invisible here. You can't hide."

National attention

St. Mark's is known throughout the reconciling community. "A lot of people know about the church because of what happened in Sacramento and the ministers," said David Braden, director of development for the Reconciling Ministries Network.

Braden is referring to the Sacramento 68, the Methodist ministers who blessed a holy union in 1999 at the Sacramento Convention Center. They presided over the ceremony to protest their church's ban on gay marriages.

The couple, Jeanne Barnett and Ellie Charlton, and Don Fado, the pastor who organized the ceremony, were from St. Mark's. The union received national attention.

Fado, now retired, said some longtime members left over the issue, but he has no regrets. "It's the national church that's being disobedient, and we have to be obedient to teachings of Jesus Christ," he said.

Some members disagreed with Fado's approach. The first attempt to become a reconciling congregation failed in 2001. The referendum passed the second time in 2006.

"I supported the union 100 percent," said Gwen Schoen, who left the church. "But the church became too focused on that one issue. And my husband and I became uncomfortable with it."

Anna Beth Patton, 83, has been a member for 55 years. "There are still some people who are not in complete agreement, but I support it," said Patton. She added that the debate about gays in the church has gone on too long. "It's time to move on," she said.

The Rev. Alan Jones was one of the ministers who presided over the ceremony in 2000. He has been pastor at St. Mark's since July. His sermons frequently refer to gay rights, but he said the church is not focused on this.

"We pray for the day when we don't have to keep talking about it," Jones said. "I think the ruling is discriminatory and wrong," he said, referring the church stance on homosexuality.

The majority of St. Mark's members feel the same. But some longtime churchgoers said they are concerned about the direction of the church. Is it, some wonder, becoming a gay congregation?

That's not what Andrews and Perry want.

Andrews said being gay is part of who she is, but her sexuality doesn't define her.

"We want a church that is inclusive," Andrews said. "We didn't want to join a gay church."

The issue persists

David Perez and his domestic partner, Steven Edwards, were looking for a church where they would be welcome. Perez said finding a church was important to him. "I felt a deep void in my life," he said.

They had tried other churches but never felt comfortable. On their first day at St. Mark's, a woman approached and said, "You two are new here." She embraced them and welcomed them to the church. The two men were surprised to see her a few minutes later in the pulpit. The woman who greeted them was Whitmore, the former pastor. "We were accepted from the first day," said Perez.

Andrews and Perry felt the same when they first visited St. Mark's. Andrews was raised as a Christian Scientist, and Perry grew up in the Methodist church.

They wanted a church that could provide a strong spiritual base for their daughter, Emily. They became active in St. Mark's.

Perry sings in the choir. Emily helps run the slides on the screen during the worship services. Andrews oversees the church's preschool and the Sunday school program.

The women said they never considered hiding their sexuality at this church.

"I've been out way longer than I was in," Andrews joked.

Perry added, "You have to be who you are, especially at church."

Church leaders will meet in April at the General Conference, the denomination's convention held every four years, and surely will discuss gay rights.

"I know some think it's going to change, but I would be surprised," said Miller of the Confessing Movement. "The church has to stand for Scripture authority."

"The issue is not going to go away," Jones said.

Last Sunday, Andrews finished her series on Esau and Jacob. She spoke at both morning services.

In the Bible, she said, Jacob stole his brother's birthright and Esau was so angry that he said he would never forgive him. After years of estrangement, the two brothers reconciled.

"They couldn't even remember what they had argued about," Andrews said.

RELIGIOUS CROSSROADS

First in an ongoing series on gays and religion

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