Elijah Graves is an outgoing Elk Grove sixth-grader who plays basketball, football and swims. He's also been waiting for nearly two years to be matched with a Big Brother.
"They said they could match him with a Big Sister, but he said, 'No thanks, I already have two of those,' " said his mother, Shal'ana Graves.
Elijah's need for a positive adult male role model points up a regional problem for the Big Brothers Big Sisters of the Greater Sacramento Area: Not enough Big Brothers to go around.
Rhonda Staley-Brooks, president and chief executive officer of the nonprofit, said the organization has been doing well in finding Big Sisters for girls. But male volunteers are frequently rejected because they can't commit to the program for a year, or they are not a good match for kids.
"There's a fine line we have to walk, to match kids with volunteers, but we have to make some judgments and err on the side of child safety," Staley-Brooks said. She said some men have checkered pasts, live with or near sex offenders, or have other issues that make them unsuitable candidates, including travel for work or an upcoming military deployment.
"Sometimes they just have personalities that are not consistent with this program," she said.
The group, which covers Sacramento, Yuba, Sutter, San Joaquin, Yolo and South Placer counties, has 136 kids on the waiting list, and 107 of those are boys. The organization has 282 matches, including 163 boys and 119 girls. Five boys have Big Sisters.
"It's very rare a boy comes into the program wanting a Big Sister," Staley-Brooks said.
What's doubly unfortunate about children lacking mentors is the proven high rate of kids staying out of trouble when they have a Big Brother or Big Sister.
"Our statistics are high for prevention," Staley-Brooks said. Last year, five youths of the 443 in the program were incarcerated or became a teen parent.
The volunteers need to be 21 or older, while the children are ages 8 to 14 years. Staley-Brooks said matches are made by ethnicity, age, geography and interests.
Elijah's father is not "in the picture," and Graves has two older daughters, she said.
"He's surrounded by women all the time," she said of her son, 11. "He just needs someone to hang out with, to talk sports. The frustration comes when he sees other kids with men in their lives. He often feels alone and needs guidance. There's only so much a mother can do."
Elijah said he wants a Big Brother to go ice-skating with him, and watch him play sports.
"I want to have fun and do amazing things with him," Elijah said to his prospective mentor. "I want to play sports with him, get pointers, and he can come to my games."
His mother would prefer a male volunteer who's a professional, so that he can encourage her son to go to college and get a good job.
"Our young black men need direction, and professional adult males as role models," she said.
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