Rhyme and Season

It might be the most parodied poem ever, but that doesn't stop us on Christmas, giving it a twist for the Kings season. In bold type are 10 names, buzzwords and phrases that are key to the season. With absolutely no apologies to author Clement Clarke Moore – we consider it his gift.

'Twas the day before their season, and all through the Kings
Players opened their presents, coveting Mavericks' rings
The lockout was over, so now they could dream
Are they better than a 58-loss team?

With a 66-game season coming quick
Their losses should drop with simple arithmetic
Monday the Lakers come to raise the curtain
On a season that once was not so certain

Back-to-back-to-back L.A. is now sweating
But their odds are better in Vegas betting
The Kings, set at 60-1 to win it all
That makes for one long shot for coach Paul Westphal

He teams a family, Cousins and Outlaw
Who cares about Lakers without Chris Paul?
So Stern dealt with the regifting point guard trade
Big deal, just stop the Anaheim team-moving raid

For owners Maloof have a young team to click
With Geoff Petrie making moves like old St. Nick
Salmons returns, Tyreke's health won't hurt his games
To the bench, he can call out old and new names

Now Donté, now Jimmer, now 'Cisco and Hickson,
Sub for DeMarcus, Thompson, Evans and Thornton
Onto the court, past the top of the key
Spot up, Fredette, hit your Jimmermania three

This season's slogan may be "Return of the Kings"
But the new one can make jersey sales ring
Lucky number 7, a rookie you can track
In purple and sporting the new back in black

He'll have teammates and coaches new and Smart
To guide him to play D and any tough start
They'll travel to Miami, Lebron to beat
But winter here will chill with no Heat

In January, they have three in a row
For two on those, on the road they go
Of the first 33, 21 are away
It's a rough schedule for a young team to play

Their age tis only 24 or more
Without Coachie to help them pass and score
Some of ghosts of playoff-bound Kings are gone
C-Webb's on TV, unmowed is his lawn

No more Vlade, Peja has retired
But on the bench, B-Jax is rehired
Returning are Reynolds and Grant Napear
And Gray and Walton, maybe wit rapier

G-man, Fat, J-Ross, High Flyer, lines not foul
While fans still ponder the K.J. vow
Will Power Balance still go dark?
Or will the city seek cash from how we park?

March 1 has been the deadline for a new plan
We'll see if we have a running team that ran
Meanwhile, we'll follow tweets @boogiecousins
After winter, spring anew hope for the wins

We'll look for the Clips, and the Blake Griffin myth
End with the Lakers again, on the 26th
Playoff bound or heading south, out of sight?
New season greetings for now, for now all is right

• Read more articles by Scott Lebar

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