During the Giants' just-completed trip, they lollygagged in Los Angeles, they lollygagged in Colorado, and they lollygagged in Cincinnati.
You know what that makes them? Exactly. Lollygaggers of the National League West.
It's a miracle they've won 39 games.
Maybe it's time for Bruce Bochy to throw a bunch of bats inside the Giants' shower and start screaming.
Maybe it's time for Pablo Sandoval, who is hitting .091 with three singles since returning from the disabled list, to start breathing out of his eyelids like the lava lizards of the Galapagos.
Maybe it's time for 2012 N.L. All-Star starting pitcher Matt Cain, who has looked nothing like an All-Star in 2013, to begin wearing a garter belt underneath his uniform (the rose goes in front, big guy).
We'll stop short of cutting the head off a live rooster, but something needs to be done to take this '13 curse off the Giants.
OK, let's turn two.
It's hard to believe 25 years have passed since Crash Davis (Kevin Costner) served as the personal catcher for Calvin "Nuke" LaLoosh (Tim Robbins) in "Bull Durham."
Released on June 15, 1988, "Bull Durham" is one of the best baseball movies of all time because it taught us many things about life and the game:
Never shake off a catcher to throw a fastball because you want to announce your presence with authority.
Don't think it can only hurt the ballclub.
Candlesticks make nice wedding gifts.
Never call an umpire a certain name.
What to watch
Baseball, Dodgers at Giants, 7:15 p.m., Ch. 31: The Giants need some home cooking after a tough trip.
What's your favorite baseball movie?
"Field of Dreams"
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Call The Bee's Victor Contreras, (916) 326-5527. Follow him on Twitter @SacBeeVictor.