Casino events: Kathy Griffin at Thunder Valley

Published: Thursday, Sep. 12, 2013 - 12:00 am

Kathy Griffin promises to arrive at Thunder Valley on Sept. 20 armed with stories about the gay cruise she recently took as the onboard entertainment, “where the first thing you see when you get on deck is a giant ice sculpture” of a certain part of the male anatomy that “you can then watch melt for 11 days.”

The comedienne said she usually has to cut her time at sea short because of her issues with “groupies.”

“I only stay two days because I become to these guys like Britney Spears and it takes them only that long to figure out which stateroom is mine and start leaving notes on the door,” she said. “Believe me those guys party. They party like it was 1999, or 2099 or whatever.”

She’s also likely to gloat a little about her success.

“I have now had more comedy specials on television than anybody else,” she said. “Isn’t that great? This December will be my 20th comedy special on Bravo, so we will have broken the record we have just broken. I’m thinking of calling it ‘Record Breaker.’ Why not? We just need to wait for the official decision from Guinness Book of World Records.”

Griffin is the ultimate product of television — in a way. Ever since her first guest appearances on “Seinfeld,” she has become a continual small-screen presence, especially with her standup specials and award-winning reality series, “My Life on the D-List.”

She and the medium get along quite well, even when she tackled a serious role in “Law and Order: SVU.”

“They play that, like, every day on television somewhere,” she says. “I was very proud of that. So is my mother, only she calls it ‘Special Victims: SUV.’”

If given the chance to do a guest spot on any show, “I’d go for ‘Scandal,’” she said. “After all, so much of my career is about scandal.”

She would avoid “Dancing with the Stars” at all costs: “No, no, no, no,” she said. “Too many of my friends have gone on that show only to wind up in the hospital. Besides, I can’t even touch my toes.”

With movies, she’d gravitate toward Woody Allen, who “has an eye for casting that is so much better and surprising than anybody else. I mean, look at what he did for Andrew Dice Clay in ‘Blue Jasmine.’” (8 p.m.; $29.50-$77.50;

• Comedy is also on tap Saturday at the MontBleu, as the San Francisco Comedy Festival hosts a qualifier round with a lineup of standups trying to join the ranks of some of the competition’s more famous alumni, such as Ellen DeGeneres and Robin Williams. (9 p.m.; $25;

• Six classes of the “World’s Fastest Motorsport,” the L-39 Patriots Jet Team, and the “first jet-powered man” are only three of the many attractions of the 50th National Championship Air Races in Reno, running today through Sunday. (

Read more articles by Mel Shields

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