If you get something you absolutely hate, you must say something. Tread lightly, as your partner likely spent a lot of time and money picking it out.
It's harder if the ring is a family heirloom, though. You can kindly explain that the stone is what's most important and that it's still being passed down, but that styles change over time and you would like a different one. If you don't like the shape of your diamond, there are many ways to modernize an older cut.
Avoid this problem altogether by making sure someone is there to guide your partner. Share photos of rings you like, or have the designated person say exactly what you want.
If you are the one buying and don't know what your partner would want, the best thing to do is to get something simple and classic, or elegant and timeless, and to be open to redesigning it.
Never miss a local story.
– Olivia Landau, private jeweler and jewelry blogger
If you're really particular or have your eye on a specific style, say so. It's OK to drop hints about what you really want. That's the best way to completely avoid this situation.
If the ring is not what you expected, don't ask for a totally new ring, but think about modification options. If it's too simple or smaller than you thought, it might grow on you. You can also amp up the volume or create a more unique look with your wedding band.
If you're totally surprised and the sparkler is not your taste at all, then honesty and kindness are the best policy. Can you have the stone reset or change the band from silver to gold? If you know where the ring was purchased, inquire about the return or exchange policy on your own before you broach the topic with your partner.
The truth will sting at first, but it will also set you free.
– Jennifer Spector, director of brand strategy and newlywed-at-large at wedding registry Zola