We can’t talk to anyone because it’s so shameful admitting this level of failure at something others do naturally. We are honest only with each other, and it is obvious that what we are doing now won’t work. We can’t imagine what options we have. Please, please help me look at this from a new angle and, hopefully, save my family somehow.
Then, as soon as you can, call the first therapist on your doctor’s list to make an appointment. If the therapist can’t meet within a week, then call the next one, and so on through the list. If nothing works, call your doctor again. (Don’t be afraid to go to the emergency room if you ever think you might hurt yourself or your baby.)
When you get in to see someone, tell the truth. This is the safe place to tell it.
You asked me to serve that role, probably because of the anonymity I afford you, but that also means I don’t have the specifics of your health, your marriage, your life context, your baby’s health and temperament, or anything else that factors in. In these most formative days for your son, you need high-percentage guidance from someone who sees you up close.
I will say this, however: Not everyone takes to parenthood “naturally.” What’s unnatural, in fact, is our society’s unspoken expectation that parents tough it out alone. Don’t see it as your personal failing that you need to ask for help. Don’t do that to yourself, or your son. Call in the troops today.