Now I am planning a smaller party to celebrate our fifth wedding anniversary, and I need a way to communicate information to my guests without being rude myself. The venue is quite small and holds a maximum of 45 people. It also is one of those “if you show up without a jacket one will be provided for you” places.
I have a couple of friends who are dating less-than-stellar people – one is a terrifying, angry drunk, and this party will be open bar. The other is a terribly inappropriate “lady” who apparently has a personal quest to simultaneously be as loud and braying as possible while wearing as little clothing as possible. I do not want these people showing up expecting to get in. I am at a loss.
The angry drunk, meanwhile, isn’t a party problem, it’s a problem. You talk to your friend, give examples of terrifying behavior you witnessed firsthand, and express concern for your friend’s well-being. Then, weeks later when you regretfully insist the angry drinker is not welcome at your event, you won’t appear more concerned about your party than about your friend. Ahem.
And the woman you give the quote-unquote treatment? The one you write about with your lips pursed, like she’s a surface in a public restroom? She called, and she’d like her humanity back.
So let’s back up all the way to what your motives are for this party. Is it to spend time with loved ones, celebrating your good luck? And you assume parties are supposed to be a certain way? Or is it to create an image of how you’d like others to perceive you?
My advice is to change your baseline intentions for this party. Right now, your baseline is your idea of the perfect party, and you’re trying to get all the jaggedy pieces to fit that image. Instead, I suggest you use those pieces themselves as your baseline and build a party from there. It’s not as photogenic, but it’s a lot more fun. Not to mention, kind.