Sophie leaves the group. No longer wants anything to do with any of the friends.
Now Sophie wants to be friends with Penny and Kaylie, but refuses to be around Jeanne. This puts Penny and Kaylie in an awkward situation. What would you recommend for Jeanne?
Penny and Kaylie are not in an “awkward situation,” they’re in a decency test – and failing it with flying colors. Here’s the answer to Sophie that prevents a snake pit: “Join us all, or don’t. Up to you.”
It’s their second F, actually. They earned the first by reporting the “faults” to Jeanne via back-channel.
As for Jeanne, it’s her call whether any of these friends is worth keeping.
When my sister-in-law had a baby, my father-in-law’s wife suddenly became even more overbearing toward her. What irks me most is that the wife insists on referring to herself as grandma.
My future child will have two wonderful grandmothers – this woman is not going to be one of them. How can I politely ask her not expect to be called grandma by my children?
You cannot, should not, and have no business trying to shove her The Wife off the grandma shelf. Even if she’s every bit as negative as you say, her grandma spot is secured by marriage. Deal with it. Or get ready to explain “politely” that “wonderful” Stepdad can’t be Grandpa.
Plus, she might be one more person in your child’s corner.
The more you push her away, the more overbearing and critical you can expect her to get.
Grit out some pleasant engagement instead – including, when she gets mean, “I’d appreciate your support, not criticism.” Diplomacy, not war.