I said I couldn’t tell her what to do, but I’m sure she knew I was upset.
I would never do that to a friend, and I feel that if she is my friend, then she would not contact him.
Nevertheless, I agree only in one very narrow circumstance: when the ex caused you significant and deliberate harm.
It can be awkward, even painful; I get that. But even that doesn’t justify throwing our hoodies over people as if they’re chairs in a middle-school cafeteria.
There’s also this: If you were her friend, then she’d have your blessing to seek happiness wherever she thinks she’ll find it.
While men may be abundant, promising connections are not. I can’t endorse denying a friend such a chance.
Recently she’s begun seeing someone who is in a relationship with someone else. She’s over the moon with new love, but I feel deeply uncomfortable listening to her stories about this entanglement.
I can’t reconcile the caring, giving person I know with someone who would knowingly assist in the deception and injury of another.
I’ve tried couching my hesitance in terms of not wanting to see her get hurt by someone who is already invested elsewhere, but she’s waved away the objection and I don’t think trying to guilt-trip her is the right thing to do.
What exactly are my options here? Her relationship isn’t my life to live, but it makes me question her deeper character.
While both of you wait for the moral of this story to unfold, I suggest you stop couching and start telling your truth. Not to guilt or judge her – again, half of this story is yet unwritten – but to inform. “Talking about this makes me really uncomfortable, knowing he’s still with this other girl.”
You can be both blunt and loving.