June 30, 2014 8:14 PM

Carolyn Hax: Advice from readers on getting bad news

When a friend tells you they have cancer, I know you are thinking, “OHMYGOD! HOW DO I MAKE SURE I DON'T GET IT?” It is normal to wonder what caused it and how you can prevent it. But when you ask, “Do they know what caused it?,” it sounds like, “What did you do wrong?” Instead, ask how it was discovered.

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