But when you ask, “Do they know what caused it?,” it sounds like, “What did you do wrong?” Instead, ask how it was discovered. That will provide you with useful information if you are worried about yourself, and doesn’t feel so blame-y. And if you or your kid has cancer and someone asks what caused it, the answer is, “Bad luck.”
Most people have at least one plate overflowing, though, one that’s full of crap, or too many plates all out of balance, or other people think they’re not carrying enough plates or doing it right. Enjoy balance while it lasts, and give everyone else a break.
I had an easy first child and didn’t understand how others struggled. Then I had Destructo-Boy and realized I had been lucky, that’s all. It had nothing to do with my personality, my style, my organization. It was pure luck.
My brother said it best when he told me he took back all the mean things he thought about my parenting of Destructo-Boy when he had his own little devil. He had been full of smug inner comments about what Big Sis needed to do. Then he learned the hard way. (I thought it was pretty cool of him to tell me this.)
You can’t know a situation until you see it from the inside. Be glad when it’s smooth for you and enjoy your life.
So I told him how much I appreciated it and asked if there was one of his pet peeves that I could really make an effort to address. So now I clean the lint filter on the dryer after EVERY load.
A little effort can go a long way and we both feel appreciated and loved by the other person’s efforts – no matter how successful.