The back of the volunteer badge dangling around my neck listed a number of instructions. It told me to wear closed-toe shoes and protective gloves, and avoid handling hazardous material, such as broken glass, needles and horse patties. I should complete my litter-picking route within an hour and return the equipment by 4:30 p.m. And I should never answer any questions from the public, but direct them instead to a park employee or a visitor center.
Abiding by the rules, I eventually stopped asking myself where I was. Because beyond the obvious – You Are Here in Central Park – my exact location among the 843 acres, dozens of statues and sculptures, seven bodies of water and seven meadows was elusive. But then again, the park’s creators did intend for visitors to lose themselves in the inner-oasis. So I walked right past the man in the Central Park Conservancy T-shirt, my laminated card bouncing in defiance.
The famous New York park is no mere green smudge on Manhattan’s face. It’s an island on an island, a self-sustaining microcosm with its own ecosystem and personality (multiple, in fact).
But that’s an essential part of the anti-urban adventure: to get lost and see what you can find.
In May, I accepted the challenge and locked myself inside the park’s borders. For nearly two days, I relied on it to fill my basic needs (food, drink, exercise, penguins) and more esoteric cravings (gondola ride, film sites). Not once did I look for an escape hatch, except at night – getting arrested for sleeping in the park would cut into my daytime exploration.
Sights and daily events
The Central Park Conservancy, which manages the park under a contract with the city, provides information on sights and daily events. The calendar listing for the last weekend in July, for example, includes a dozen activities, including a the Iconic Views of Central Park Tour and a performance by an eco-troupe.
The nonprofit group also offers downloadable maps for self-guided walking tours (North End, Mid-Park, South End, Woodland, Tree) and an audio guide featuring celebrity narrators: Whoopi Goldberg on the Alice in Wonderland statue, Jerry Seinfeld on the Mall, former Mayor Michael Bloomberg on tree care.
Individual attractions, such as the Central Park Zoo and the Loeb Boathouse, also give a loud shout-out to their own diversions, including animal feedings and gondola rides. Finally, outside operators run theme tours, covering movie and TV sites and arts and architecture.
At Belvedere Castle, I asked a visitor center volunteer whether someone with no dependents and no shares in Apple could engage in every activity. His one-word response: “Impossible.”
And with that, I surrendered to the inevitable: I couldn’t do it all, or even half. Maybe a sixteenth.
The main draws – the zoo, the nature sanctuary, the bandshell, the literary walk, etc. – congregate in the southern portion of the park. Most visitors barely tread beyond the castle, which perches nobly on a hill slightly above the 79th Street Traverse.
The visitor center also dispenses wildlife kits (I grabbed the binoculars and field guide on birds) and signs up volunteers for trash pickup. In 1980, the conservancy took over park maintenance, and it depends on donations (which make up 75 percent of the $58 million budget) and hundreds of volunteers to keep the bucolic retreat at its tidiest. The park needs me and you as much as we need it.
The “Pitch In, Pick Up” program requires little effort. I was already walking around the park and occasionally looking down to avoid tripping, so why not retrieve trash along the way?
Penguin party and sailing
I set out for the zoo to catch the afternoon sea lion and penguin feedings, my plastic gripper poised for duty.
Three sea lions streaked like dark lightning bolts underwater, then leaped onto a pile of boulders on the edge of the pool. They vogued for the spectators before splashing back into their micro-ocean.
I didn’t have time to wait for an encore performance, because the penguin lunch bell was about to ring. I entered the chilly Arctic Polar chamber and pressed my face against the glass tank filled with Gentoo, chinstrap, rockhopper and king penguins. It was the ultimate penguin party, formal attire required.
On the return walk to Belvedere Castle, I followed a corkscrew route through the densely forested and nobby Ramble. I popped out of the trees to discover a turtle, which I did not grab, and a cardboard box, which I did. Steps from the castle, a family waved me over to a stone wall and said, “There’s a popsicle stick.”
The rules did not prevent me from taking orders from visitors.
At the castle, I returned my gear and showed the volunteer my collection. He nodded his approval, then told me to go throw it away in the receptacles outside. My reward: two squirts from the bottle of antibacterial gel on the counter.
Now with hands free, I headed straight for the Conservatory Water and Kerbs Memorial Boathouse, which rents out toy sloops. The bean-shaped pond was full of sailboats zigzagging across the water.
The concessionaire added my name to a short waiting list, and I took a seat at the adjoining cafe and ordered an iced coffee. A jazz trio performed for a small crowd.
I sailed my ship until the boathouse closed at 7 p.m., abandoning it in the middle of the sea after the wind died out. A staff member gave me a hint for next time. “The best winds are between 12 and 3 in the afternoon,” he said.
Ready for its close-up
With more than 300 films and television shows on its résumé, Central Park is the most filmed location in the world, said Sami Horneff, our purebred New Yorker tour guide. And over the next two hours, she was going to show us as many cinematic sites as possible in a two-mile stretch.
But first, a bit of documentary footage.
William Bryant, editor of the New York Post, was the progenitor of the idea to create a bucolic retreat from the city heat. Thirty landscape designers submitted proposals; Frederick Law Olmsted and Calvert Vaux won the peerless prize. The park, which opened in 1847 on 778 acres, sits on real estate worth $560 billion. They built the park below street level, to erase the cityscape and allow visitors to escape in the sunken greenscape.
“Everything in Central Park was man-made,” Sami added. “All of the lakes have bubbles. The rocks are original, but they didn’t naturally occur in those spots.”
At the duck pond, we were suddenly walking in Russell Brand’s footsteps, Sami told us, referring to the star of the “Arthur” remake. The Smurfs also “sat” here for their eponymous film.
Sami covered a wide spectrum of movies and shows, from classic mainstays (“Kramer vs. Kramer,” “Love Story”) to TBS reruns (“Maid in Manhattan,” “Vanilla Sky”). For those of us who might have missed a scene while letting the dog out, she presented still images on her iPad. “Enchanted,” “Glee” and “Gossip Girls” made several appearances, and all three received fandom squeals from the girls in the group.
The tour finished at Tavern on the Green, opposite Sheep Meadow, which Sami called “New York City’s beach.” ( She left us with a fitting image of New York: The “Ghostbusters” scene in which restaurant diners ignore Rick Moranis’ plea for help, caring more about their meals than the ravenous beast outside.
Since entering the Republic of Central Park, I’d mainly stayed below the 79th Street divide. The moment had arrived.
I chose the Conservatory Garden as my northern destination.
About an hour later, I arrived, hot and parched after covering 45 blocks with little shade and no food carts. The six-acre plot is the only formal garden in Central Park. It’s divided into three styles – Italianate, French and English – and feels very proper and aristocratic. Then I spotted a feature previously undiscovered during my wanderings.
I stepped closer, rolling up my sleeves and preparing to plunge in.The sprinkler spritzed my hair and my sun-baked skin. Sufficiently cooled and composed, I was now ready to return to the wilds of Central Park.