Family Watch: ‘Blended’ a family film that’s not family-friendly

05/29/2014 10:00 AM

06/01/2014 8:15 PM

Current films are reviewed each week to provide parents a guide to decide what may be appropriate to younger viewers

Blended

Rating: PG-13 for crude and sexual content, and language

What it’s about: Two single parents and their kids collide and sort of bond while on vacation in Africa.

The kid attractor factor: Adam Sandler slapstick, snot-nosed kid jokes, cute teens, bathroom humor.

Good lessons / bad lessons: “You’ve got to show up for your kids” and “Being a man means dealing with what’s in front of you.”

Violence: Accidents, nothing injurious.

Language: Scattered bits of profanity

Sex: Toilet jokes, rhinos do what comes (digitally) naturally, cleavage ogling, innuendo.

Drugs: A little wine, here and there.

Parents’ advisory: Sandler’s “family-friendly” films aren’t as family-friendly as advertised. Juvenile, yes, but unsuitable for 8-and-below.

Godzilla

Rating: PG-13 for intense sequences of destruction, mayhem and creature violence

What it’s about: Mankind’s nuclear ambitions awaken beasts that thrive on radiation, including Godzilla, King of the Monsters.

The kid attractor factor: Godzilla, scary in a kind of cuddly way, making mayhem in San Francisco.

Good lessons / bad lessons: The natural order seeks balance, even in monsters

Violence: Yes, lots of death and destruction, some of it immediate and personal

Language: Shockingly clean, considering what’s going down and the casting of Bryan Cranston.

Sex: None, despite the presence of Elizabeth Olsen.

Drugs: None

Parents’ advisory: Closer to the cute, kid-friendly Godzilla films of the ‘60s than the more horrific installments in this franchise – OK for 10-and-up.

A Million Ways To Die In The West

Rating: R for strong crude and sexual content, language throughout, some violence and drug material

What it’s about: A meek sheep rancher is tested by the living conditions, the women and men with guns in the Old West.

The kid attractor factor: Seth MacFarlane, the “Family Guy” and “Ted” rude/crude animation king.

Good lessons / bad lessons: Adults don’t settle arguments with violence, but there weren’t many adults in the Old West.

Violence: Shootings, a goring, dismemberment, etc.

Language: Profane just to be profane.

Sex: Discussed more explicitly than it is demonstrated.

Drugs: Mushrooms, pot and booze. And a cigarette.

Parents’ advisory: As sophomoric as the humor is, this isn’t for kids under 13, unless you want to hear bodily function jokes repeated around the house, ad nauseum.

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