Things are calm now, but starting with the opening ceremonies Friday night, the XXIXth Summer Olympics from Beijing will take over the television world.
Pretty much every other network will get out of the way as NBC Universal broadcasts more than 1,000 hours of coverage on USA, Bravo, Oxygen, MSNBC and, of course, NBC. Plus the 2,500 hours online at www.nbcolympics.com.
NBC (Channel 3) will have the prime-time shows – figure on lots of gymnastics, swimming, diving, and track and field, not to mention beach volleyball, because those athletes show lots of tanned and toned skin. And as always, all the evening sports will be tape- delayed on the West Coast.
Dick Ebersol, chairman of NBC Universal Sports, told TV critics last month that every survey NBC takes shows the vast majority of viewers prefer their Olympics TV offered conveniently in the evenings, even if nothing is live.
We'll keep you posted on scheduling details as the Games go on, and The Bee's sports section will have a viewers guide Tuesday and daily listings throughout the Games. The Bee's Web site devoted to these Olympics – www.sacbee.com/olympics – will also have TV schedules along with news and features on the Games.
The first thing, however, is the opening ceremonies. They begin at 8:08 p.m. on 8/08/08. If you didn't already know, eight is a lucky number in China.
Two other quick TV things before we get to the rest of this week's What to Watch (or Not): First, after AMC's "Mad Men" season-opener showed a short clip from then-first lady Jackie Kennedy's 1962 TV tour of the White House, the cable channel decided to offer the whole one-hour documentary on its Web site, www.amctv.com.
When the tour ran on both CBS and NBC on Feb. 14, 1962, it drew about three-fourths of the TV audience, and even now, it's something to see. But now, the overriding sense you will get is of a time warp. Jackie was so stiff, and the show was so very, very slow. To put it bluntly, TV was different then.
The other thing: Vincent is a yellow Labrador retriever. That's the dog from "Lost." Last week, I said he's going to survive the series, but I called him a golden retriever. I know he's a Lab. The keyboard got away from me.
OK, here's the week.
Tonight
• "Teen Choice 2008" (8 p.m. on Channel 40): Miley Cyrus hosts. The Jonas Brothers take questions from viewers. If you're not on the young side, maybe this isn't for you.
• "China's First Emperor" (9 p.m. on History): Yes, there's a lot of China- related TV this week. This three-hour documentary, co-produced with China's national TV network, tells the story of Chin Shi Huang Di, who unified China and created the empire that is the foundation of today's country.
• "Nashville Star" (10 p.m. on Channel 3): It's the season finale, and soon Nashville will have another, uh, singer. Hosted by Billy Ray Cyrus. Federal law apparently requires a Cyrus to host half of the TV lineup.
• "The Secret Diary of a Call Girl" (10:30 p.m. on Showtime): It's the season finale, and it might be the last chance to catch the cheeky and surprisingly poignant series.
Tuesday
• "Food Detectives" (9 p.m. on Food Network): This is my new pet show. Last week, I learned that beer doesn't cool the burn from hot peppers, but milk does (don't care, still ordering beer), and the five-second rule is bunk (don't care, still eating the dropped M&M).
Wednesday
• "MythBusters" (9 p.m. on Discovery): A new season starts, and here's why I love this show: The gang tries to tenderize steak with explosives. My guess is, the little tiny bits will be soft.
• "China Inside Out: Bob Woodruff Reports" (10 p.m. on Channel 10): The former ABC news anchor heads up a one-hour documentary looking at how China is using its power, wealth and size to build relationships around the globe, sometimes with regimes that Western countries consider brutal and repressive. It also examines how China's investment of billions in the American economy is defining the U.S-China bond.
Thursday
• "So You Think You Can Dance" (8 p.m. on Channel 40): It's the season finale. The dance world will have another dancer.
• "Hopkins" (10 p.m. on Channel 10): ABC added an extra week to the docu-drama. For the finale, doctors worry about patients, patients worry about docs, everyone worries about everyone. And they should. It's a hospital.
Friday
• "Olympic Opening Ceremonies" (8 p.m. on Channel 3): And so it begins. The inimitable Bob Costas hosts.
Saturday
• "Damages" (7 a.m.- 8 p.m. on FX): For anyone not watching the Olympics who still wants to spend the day in front of the TV, this is a great way to do it. FX is running the entire 13-episode season of the Emmy-nominated legal thriller starring Glenn Close.
• "Primeval" (9 p.m. on BBC America): There are time portals, dinosaurs, general strangeness and the kind of wry and heady adventure you get when the BBC takes on this sort of thing.
Call The Bee's Rick Kushman, (916) 321-1187. Listen to him Thursdays at 8:40 a.m. on NewsTalk 1530 (KFBK) and 8:50 a.m. on Armstrong & Getty, Talk 650 KSTE.
