Bella Swan, the perfectly ordinary heroine of Stephenie Meyer's "Twilight Saga" phenomenon and the object of my seething jealousy, is just like every other ingénue with daddy issues – she likes bad boys … for all the right reasons.
But, as evidenced by the obsessive fan base for the "Twilight" series, which ranges in scope from shrieking 'tweens to borderline-embarrassed 20-somethings to moms who have shamelessly stolen their kids' books, every girl secretly wants a vampire for a boyfriend.
Incisive wit and intelligence wrought from centuries worth of philosophical pondering, coupled with unparalleled beauty, impeccable style and an ice-cold, marble embrace?
Yes, please.
Add a set of razor-sharp fangs and a multiple personality disorder, and you've got every woman's wildest fantasy: a deliciously masochistic relationship that oscillates between eternal love and the potential for an unequivocally painful (but sexy!) death.
The film "Twilight," which hits theaters today, stars Robert Pattinson as Edward Cullen, the 17-going-on-108-year-old vampire with the mind – and the feeding habits – of a true gentleman. But Pattinson is just the most recent in a long line of fanged heartthrobs – vampires so irresistible, the very sight of them makes mere mortals whimper "Oh, my goth."
• Vampires of the past
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