On Mother's Day I am thinking about Michelle Obama's assertion that her primary role as first lady is "mom-in-chief."

Many progressive feminists were distressed with Obama's assertion of motherhood as her primary role. They hoped she would seek a more aggressive policy agenda. After all, she is a graduate of Princeton University and Harvard Law School. She spent her career as an effective advocate for urban communities in their fraught relationship with powerful institutions. She is smart, capable and independent. She maintained her own career and ambitions throughout Barack Obama's early political career and even during his election to the U.S. Senate.

Different perception decade ago

Truth is, some of us who were in the orbit of the Obamas 10 years ago believed Michelle, not Barack, was the real star of the couple. So while I don't think anyone expected her to commute to a 9-to-5 job in Washington, D.C., many hoped she would take on an independent political role in the Obama administration.

Instead, Michelle Obama has crafted a more traditional role for herself. She is highly visible, but she has taken on relatively safe issues like childhood literacy, advocacy for women and girls, and support of military families. Even her White House garden is framed more as an initiative for healthy eating and quality family meals than as a statement of commitment to local foods as an effort against global climate change.

Early in the primaries, Obama's gentle teasing of her "rock star" husband made him seem more human and led many to believe the Obamas would be models for gender equity in the White House. While the mutual respect between the couple remains evident, these days Michelle Obama is more frequently photographed with her head on Barack's shoulder, grasping his hand at public events, or evading reporters by stealing brief, romantic walks on the White House grounds. The outspoken Michelle Obama that made many bristle with anxiety during the campaign has been replaced by a woman who makes us collectively say, "awww" when we see her with her husband, children, and even her new dog.

Over the past several months I have received many press inquiries from reporters and scholars who are anxious about the ascendance of this kinder, gentler Michelle Obama. They worry she is being manufactured and handled in a way that thwarts her authenticity and undermines the efforts of feminist movements committed to the notion that women can and should have both family and career.

Remember, this is new ground

This is potentially a fair criticism, but I want to complicate this easy narrative a bit by encouraging us to remember that as an African American woman the stereotypes against which Obama is struggling are distinct from those that seek to limit and inhibit white women.

White, middle-class, gender norms in the United States have generally asserted that women belong in the domestic sphere. These norms have limited white women's opportunities for education and employment. But the story has been different for women of color and women from poor and working-class origins.

These women have faced the requirement of employment and shouldered the extreme burden of attempting to effectively parent while providing financially for their families.

African American women were full participants in agricultural labor during slavery, the backbreaking work of sharecropping and the domestic services of Jim Crow. Even middle class and elite African American women have typically worked as teachers, journalists, entrepreneurs and professionals. At every level of household income and at every point in American history, these women have been much more likely to engage in paid labor than their white counterparts. Even Claire Huxtable worked full time.

So when first lady Obama makes a choice to focus on supporting her daughters through their school transition and providing companionship to her husband as he governs, she is not really conforming to norms. She is surprisingly thwarting expectations of African American women's role in the family and representing a different image than we are used to encountering in this country.

Melissa Harris-Lacewell, an associate professor of politics and African American studies at Princeton University, is completing her latest book, "Sister Citizen: A Text for Colored Girls Who've Considered Politics When Being Strong Isn't Enough."