Now that gay "marriage" is legalized in a handful of states – not once by a vote of the people, but by a court or a legislature – a bill recently introduced in the U.S. House of Representatives would overturn the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act that denies federal recognition of same-sex marriage and gives states the right to refuse to recognize same-sex marriages performed in other states.

Nearly 30 states, including California, have prohibited same-sex "marriage." Yet, the 1996 act "singles out legally married same-sex couples for discriminatory treatment under federal law," according to the press statement from its author, Rep. Jerrold Nadler, D-N.Y.

Sacramento's Rep. Doris Matsui, a co-sponsor of Nadler's bill, wants "equal rights." Sen. Barbara Boxer of California terms the 1996 legislation "discriminatory, unfair and unconstitutional." Sen. Dianne Feinstein calls on the federal government to "treat all married couples equally." Yet, the debate on gay marriage has nothing to do with "equal rights" or "discrimination." It's about changing the definition of marriage as it has been known in the cultures and religions of the world throughout the generations.

The misuse of the term, "equal rights," to include anything anyone wants to do is not broad-mindedness, but the failure to distinguish between the true and the false.

"Equality" has become an excuse to pretend that all ideas are equal. Our thinking, it seems, can be equalized into a complete collapse of coherence.

True discrimination occurs when the civil rights of an individual are denied or interfered with because of their membership in a particular group or class, based on a person's race, religion, age, disability, sex and national origin.

But the right to equal treatment in employment does not redefine a "job" as a vacation to Hawaii. The right to equal treatment in housing does not redefine a "house" as a grocery store chain.

Do I have an "equal right" to become a U.S. senator by declaring myself one – whether or not I meet the definition of a senator, including being voted into the office? Do Wiccans have an "equal right" to declare one of their ceremonies a bar mitzvah? Do Catholics have an "equal right" to call a statue of St. Joseph a stupa (a Buddhist shrine)?

We can name items of the same nature whatever we want – "milk" chocolate or "bittersweet" chocolate, but no matter how many times we say that chocolate is sauerkraut, it won't make it so.

Even our modern hubris cannot make two equal three.

If we allow anyone to redefine any term to meet any desire, we will "equal right" ourselves into a Tower of Babel.

It is not discrimination to make distinctions. It is not discrimination to make judgments about what is best for families and society. It is not discrimination to uphold traditional marriage as representing the core role of a man and a woman in procreating and raising children.

It is not discrimination to cite research showing that mother-father child-rearing "correlates with the optimal outcomes deemed crucial for a child's, and therefore society's, well-being," as a 2008 report in the Harvard Journal of Law and Public Policy points out.

Yet, when it is politically convenient, our officeholders turn a blind eye and pretend that all ideas are equal.

"Equality" has become relativism. "Tolerance" has become permissiveness.

We are creating a valueless society. We have abandoned character and principle for a mushy "equality" and "tolerance" that breed indifference toward the truth.

To our founders, individual rights could not be stripped away by government because they are "inalienable rights" granted by an authority higher than government – "our Creator." If our state one day decides to legalize same-sex marriage, let's not cloak the decision with the mantle of the Constitution to cover up an agenda completely anathema to it – the "right" to become our own gods.

Unless we rely on a standard beyond ourselves, we will fall into an abyss of chaos and confusion where all ideas are equal and where we are all equally misguided and disillusioned.

Margaret A. Bengs is a former political speechwriter who lives in Carmichael. Reach her at peggybengs@hotmail.com.