Attention Sacramento Area smart alecks. You only have four more days to enter a submission in the "Name Your Team" contest for the new Sacramento UFL franchise. If you don't, the team could end up being called the Senators. (Seriously, what's going to be the mascot? Darrell Steinberg?) While the door is still open for submissions, the league already seems to have six favorites:
Sacramento Condors. Nothing says strength like a species that is teetering on the brink of extinction. It's also not regional. A California Condor wouldn't be caught dead in Sacramento (Unless it was being cared for by the zoo). According to my handy dandy Peterson's guide to Western birds, the few condors remaining live in the coastal mountains in the south end of the state.
Sacramento Miners. This is certainly a more Sacramento-specific name. It also works if the UFL develops a formal partnership with the NFL and the Miners become a feeder team to the 49ers. However, the name phonetically resembles "minors," a connotation a start-up league wants to avoid.
Sacramento Pioneers. While pioneers is a historically accurate ... yawn ... it is not ... yawn ... Sorry, I nodded off.
Sacramento Redwoods. No other tree towers like a California redwood. The problem: they're found on the coast, not in the Central Valley. If you want an intimidating, tree-related nickname, how about: The Sacramento Dutch Elm Disease.
Sacramento Senators. Does anything have a more negative association these days than the state legislature? You might as well call the team "prostate cancer." If you guys figure out how to solve the $20 billion budget deficit and make my home price go up, then we'll talk about rewarding you with a football mascot.
Sacramento Sting. Two words: Gordon Sumner.
Here are some alternatives I feel have more cache and are better suited for a team that resides in the state capital. Some of them are my ideas. Others were submitted to me on Twitter @mattbarrows. You can make your own submission here.
Sacramento Steelhead. This was the name of the Western Baseball League that played briefly in Sacramento in 1999. While it's a good name for a baseball team, it's an excellent name for a football team. For you non-anglers, "steelhead" is a trout found in local rivers.
Sacramento Delta Dogs. I'm a traditionalist, and I realize this has a more "new school" ring to it. But it pairs well with River Cats and it captures the unique geography of the region. If you want to sell tickets in Isleton, go with Delta Dogs.
Sacramento Coronas. It pays homage to the state and city's Spanish roots. And it pairs well with the other professional sports franchise that calls Sacramento its home. It also might spark a nice sponsorship by a certain brewer of adult beverages. (I'll take 200 cases as my finder's fee).
Sacramento Sturgeon. When I was working in the Metro department of The Bee, every now and then we'd get phone calls from a Sacramento River boater who swore to seeing a sea serpent in the river. The serpent was actually a sturgeon, which can reach 18 feet and has a scaly, prehistoric looking back. It's the closest thing we have to dinosaurs. (Besides Larry King).
Sacramento Gridlock. Submitted by @dccrowley10. It speaks to both the situation under the Capitol dome and the ride home on I-5, I-80, Highway 99, US 50, Stockton Blvd, Fruitridge, Fair Oaks, yadda, yadda, yadda.
Sacramento Gerrymanders. Submitted by @Terrynce. I've got to admit -- it would make one hell of a helmet logo.
-- Matt Barrows
