Mom.me

It can be said that I've taken this blog from the cradle to the grave.

I had the idea to launch Mom.me in the spring as a spot for parenting advice, family events, product reviews and musings.

It grew to include a column in our Living Here section on Tuesdays, when the focus is on family.

But to be honest, as my workload grew (I also write stories for our Family and Food & Wine sections, as well as blog on Appetizers and 21Q), so too did the amount of time I was missing with my own family.

The irony was painful.

I decided to take some of the very same advice I had passed along here and in my column.

Cathy Greenberg, a sociobiologist and co-author of "What Happy Working Mothers Know: How New Findings in Positive Psychology Can Lead to a Healthy and Happy Work/Life Balance," (John Wiley & Sons Inc., $19.95, 256 pages), had told me in an interview for this blog that we moms (and many dads too) lack the courage to say no because we're afraid to compromise friendships and relationships.

It took about a month for Greenberg's message to penetrate my stubborn skull.

I confessed to managers about being overwhelmed, to the late nights and ridiculously early mornings in front of my computer, to the fact that something had to give.

That something is this blog.

The great news, however, is that I will continue to write my column for the Family section. I also will continue to post items on our entertainment blog, 21Q, and food news and recipes on our Appetizers blog. You can also find my writing in the Family and Food & Wine section.

So thank you, dear blog readers, for your following and support. Without this experience, of which you were a central part, I wouldn't be traveling down this new path.

Please be sure to e-mail me if there is a story or idea that you think I should explore for my column. Your input is appreciated, and central to ensuring that my work is reflective of issues and topics that you are interested in learning more about.

Best to you all.

In the flurry or excitement to take children trick-or-treating on Halloween, basic safety precautions can sometimes be overlooked.

Here are some tips for parents, children and homeowners from Sacramento Police Officer Laura Peck.

Click the link below to see her advice.

SacPDHalloween.doc

 

It's a dreaded question in many households: what's for dinner?

The routine query seems even more trying now, as many of us struggle to do more with less.

A few weeks ago, I solicited readers' tips on stretching food budgets while still cooking meals that the family would enjoy. What I got in return was some great advice.

Judy Lane, of Gold River, wrote me in an e-mail that years ago, before her now-grown children were born, she started planning her family's menus, checking recipes for truly needed ingredients and verifying pantry items before heading to the grocery store.

She shopped just once a month, making weekly trips as needed for produce, milk or things that couldn't be frozen or stored. She also remained flexible, cooking dinner a night in advance if the family's schedule warranted.

"I always incorporated several 'go to' family favorite recipes each week and most always tried something new," she said. "The effort cut 25 percent off the grocery bill and reduced the number of hours in the grocery store by a couple of hours each week!

"Menu planning is a task that even small children can help with and they are more likely to eat what's prepared when they've had a voice in that decision-making process."

Lane admitted she has strayed from the exercise over the years, but when she returns to planning her grocery bills go down.

Follow the link below to read more advice from fellow readers.

Joanne Graham wants children to have fun on Halloween. She also wants to help ensure they don't wind up with stomach aches, cavities and too much sugar in their system to sleep (now that's a nightmare).

The dietetic internship program director at California State University, Sacramento just wants to help parents steer their kids toward some healthier choices.

That's why Graham, the dietetic internship program director at California State University, Sacramento teamed with the California Milk Processor Board to arm parents with some advice this trick-or-treat season.

Did you know a typical candy pail on Halloween contains about 9,000 calories worth of candy? Click the link below to learn more.

Having trouble getting your toddler or preschooler (or teen for that matter) to eat something other than waffles and chicken nuggets?

Check out my story in today's Food & Wine section, where we explore daycares and preschools that are striving to expand childrens' culinary horizons through fresh produce and innovative meals.

The section is packed with recipes, but here is one we couldn't fit. For more extra recipes, check out our Appetizers blog.

Stevie's Speedy Enchilada Sauce
Cook time: 22 minutes
Serves: 8
Notes: This recipe is courtesy Chef Steve Magana of Sacramento Montessori School.

Ingredients
1/3 cup corn oil
2 tablespoons whole wheat flour
2 tablespoons chili powder
One 8-ounce can tomato sauce
1 1/4 cups water
1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon onion powder
Sea salt to taste

Instructions
Heat oil in a skillet over medium heat. Stir in flour and chili powder and cook until lightly brown, stirring constantly to prevent burning. Stir in tomato sauce, water, cumin, garlic powder, and onion powder into the flour until smooth, and continue cooking over medium heat approximately 12 minutes, until thick. Season to taste with salt.

Eating Suggestion:
Preheat oven to 400 degrees Fahrenheit. Place a good amount of sauce in a casserole pan and roll some mozzarella cheese in a few corn tortillas and place in a casserole pan. Add more sauce over and top with cheese. Cover with foil and bake 15 minutes.

Per serving, sauce only: 102 cal.; 1 g pro.; 5 g carb.; 9 g fat (1 sat., 2 monounsat., 6 polyunsat.); 0 mg chol.; 94 mg sod.; 1 g fiber; 0 g sugar; 79 percent calories from fat.

OK parents, here's the skinny on H1H1 vaccinations for your children: some pediatric offices in the region have them, others don't.

Kaiser Permanente has received 17,000 doses of the nasal spray version of the H1N1 vaccine for use in Northern California and began distributing a limited number of them to pediatric clinics earlier this week, Dr. Stephen M. Parodi, Kaiser's chief of infectious disease, wrote in an e-mail to The Bee.

The vaccinations are being given only to certain high-risk groups as directed by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and state Department of Public Health guidelines.

Patients are asked to call Kaiser's flu information hotline at (800) 573-5811 to determine if they are eligible.

Kaiser anticipates that it will receive more vaccinations, including the injectable form, in coming weeks.

Belong to Mercy, UC Davis Health System and Sutter medical groups? Follow the link below to learn more about vaccination availability with those providers. 

Prescription drug abuse among teenagers is a growing problem, but one local youth organization is holding an event this week to help curb the trend.

The Vision Coalition of El Dorado Hills and its partners will be collecting old and unused medication at "Operation Medicine Cabinet" from 4 to 7 p.m. Wednesday.

The event also will include education for parents and teens by law enforcement and emergency personnel, states a Vision Coalition news release.

Jon Daily, director of Recovery Happens Counseling Services, also will help parents understand prescription drug abuse and how to identify abuse and intervene.

"As adults, we think of drugs as illegal substances," he stated in the release. "However, kids think of drugs as anything that creates intoxication which includes many household medicines."

Two El Dorado Hills residents, both in their early 20s, died in the past 11 weeks from accidental overdoses of prescription medication, said DJ Peterson, the organization's executive director.

Prescription drug abuse has become increasingly prevalent among teenagers and young adults nationwide, according to the White House Office of National Drug Control Policy.

"Abuse of prescription pain killers now ranks second, only behind marijuana, as the nation's most prevalent illegal drug problem," the office's Web site states.

Peterson said getting old or unused prescription drugs out of homes is critical.

"If we don't do something, more lives will be lost," he said.

Medication collection will be held from 4 to 7 p.m. and the educational talks will be held from 5:15 to 6 p.m. at the El Dorado Hills Community Services District Pavilion, 1021 Harvard Way, El Dorado Hills.

For more information about the organization or the event, to the Vision Coalition's Web site.

Most parents just can't resist taking a bath-time photo of their baby or small child.

It's innocence personified - those sweet little faces beaming at the camera from amongst a tub full of bubbles.

We parents eagerly snap photos and file them away in our computer hard drives or photo albums, saving them for the day when we can show them to the child's spouse or our own grandchildren.

But an investigation and subsequent lawsuit in Arizona has spurred a national debate about whether it's OK to take such photos and what parents can do with them.

An Arizona couple was accused of sexual abuse last fall after they took photos of their kids that included bath-time shots to Wal-mart for processing.

Lisa and Anthony "A.J." Demaree's three young daughters were taken into custody for a month during the investigation. Neither parent was charged, but the couple is now suing Wal-mart and the state.

The photos were among 144 pictures taken during a family vacation. Seven to eight of the bath- and playtime photos showed a "portion or outline of genitalia," the Associated Press reported.

"This is a parent's worst nightmare," Richard Treon, the couple's lawyer, told the AP.

One of my favorite photos of my son is a bathtime shot. He was a little under a year old at the time and standing at the tub in nothing but his little fur-lined Robeez booties, his cute baby tushy facing the camera.

That photo has never been printed. It's never been e-mailed. I'm a little paranoid after years of crime reporting and obtaining a master's degree in criminal justice will do that to a person. But I can't put aside the fear that the photo might be misconstrued or fall into the wrong hands.

Now I'm beginning to think my paranoia may be a blessing in disguise.

Jim Harris, an FBI supervisory special agent who heads the Sacramento office's cyber crime program, said the average kid-in-the-bathtub photo isn't considered sexually explicit in the federal system and there aren't laws that prohibit digitally sending or printing such photos.

Parents should, however, exercise caution when e-mailing or posting their kids' bathtub photos on the Internet.

"I am always in favor of posting as little to the Internet as possible, particularly naked pictures of kids," he said. "There are folks who, even though the picture isn't designed to arouse sexual desire, find them to be arousing."

If you use photo sites, know the terms of service.

"If the company isn't promising anything, they shouldn't expect anything in terms of privacy," Harris said.

Fair Oaks grandmother Klorys Happe said she took bathtub photos of her three children all the time when they were little, their faces adorned with bubble mustaches and beards.

"It was innocent fun," she said.

Happe also cherishes a recent photo of her two grandsons - 2 years old and 6 months at the time - in a bubble bath.

The loss of frivolity in something as simple as a bathtub photo of a child is disappointing, but even more disheartening is the need to protect such photos.

"There are just ugly people out there sometimes that take advantage of innocents," she said. "I'd like to think it's pretty few and far between, but how do we know?"

What do you think? Have you refrained from e-mailing or printing bathtub photos of your kids or grandkids? Post your thoughts and comments here.

Having a chubby baby used to just mean more arm exercise for doting parents and bypassing cute newborn-size clothing given at a baby shower. Not anymore, apparently.

A Grand Junction, Colo. couple recently was denied medical insurance for their 4-month-old son, Alex, because he falls into the 99th percentile for height and weight for babies his age, Nancy Lofholm of The Denver Post reported today.

Alex's "obesity" - he's 17 pounds and about 25 inches long - is considered a pre-existing medical condition that makes him a financial risk. The denial speaks to an issue, called underwriting, that health insurance reform measures are seeking to eliminate, Lofholm reports.

Meanwhile, the Langes are frustrated and planning to appeal the denial, which came from a provider they were attempting to switch to after their current insurer raised rates by 40 percent.

Here's a portion of Lofholm's report:

Insurers don't take babies above the 95th percentile, no matter how healthy they are otherwise.

"I could understand if we could control what he's eating. But he's 4 months old. He's breastfeeding. We can't put him on the Atkins diet or on a treadmill," joked his frustrated father, Bernie Lange, a part-time news anchor at KKCO-TV in Grand Junction. "There is just something absurd about denying an infant."

Click here to read the rest of Lofholm's story.

What do you think? Should insurance companies be able to deny infants insurance because of their weight? Is this a problem in the health care system that you think needs changing or are insurance companies justified in such actions? Post your thoughts and comments here.

Ask a working mother how she's doing and you probably will be lied to.

We'll say "fine," but the response in our head - the honest one that we wouldn't disclose to a coworker or boss - likely leaves much unsaid.

For me, the truth would sound something like this: "I'm busier than I've ever been in my life. I wake up thinking about work, power chug scalding hot coffee while I make a marginally healthy breakfast for my kids, take them to day care, work frantically all day, fret over what's for dinner, bath the kids if there's time, eat after they're asleep and collapse into bed thinking about work and feeling guilty that I'm not spending enough with my kids."

Apparently, I'm not alone.

Women comprise nearly half of the workforce in this country, some 47 percent, yet many of us feel conflicted about working outside the home, according to a recent report by the Pew Research Center's Social and Demographic Trends Project.

Sixty-two percent of working moms say they'd prefer to work part time. Only 13 percent of moms with full-time jobs say that it's an ideal situation for young children, the report states.

Working moms also are more likely to feel stressed and as if there aren't enough hours in the day. Four-in-ten working moms with kids under 18 years old say they always feel rushed.

Follow the link below to read what Dr. Laura Schlessinger, Maria Shriver and others have to say about working mothers.

With wage reductions and furloughs taking a toll of family budgets, the discretionary income for Halloween costumes may be at an all-time low.

It doesn't have to mean a dull disguise, however.

Dollar stores, discount bins at Target and Wal-mart and your own closet are veritable treasure troves of trick-or-treat attire.

I'll be offering some inexpensive costume ideas in the Oct. 13 section of Living Here Family and here on my blog.

But before I do, I want to hear some of your cheap costume ideas.

Post a comment below or e-mail me your favorite budget costume concept, either for kids or adults (or both) and I might use it for the story and give you credit for your inspired idea.

Let's help each other not have to resort to going as "static cling" this year.

It's hard to stretch a family food budget.

Trying to balance what's on sale with what's appealing to parents and what children are willing to eat can sometimes feel akin to puzzling out the meaning of life.

There's good news, however.

Major supermarkets have realized this and are offering families deep discounts, advice on ways to make every dollar count and healthy meal ideas.

Safeway launched a campaign offering everyday low prices on thousands of items, many of which are targeted at families.

"It's really a sign of the times," said Jennifer Jolly, a consumer lifestyle expert who has teamed with Safeway. "Everyone has challenges with their budget and this is what Safeway is doing to make people's lives a little bit easier."

Items with yellow tags indicate the new price, which is often in addition to Safeway Club Card savings.

I asked Jolly for some tips for families on ways to save money at the supermarket. Here is her advice:

• Stretch your meals to stretch your budget - A whole chicken for Sunday dinner can transform into healthy chicken sandwiches on Monday, chicken strips on Tuesday and chicken wraps on Wednesday. Family pack portions of chicken and red meat also are better values.

• Pack a lunch - Jolly said she didn't realize how much money she was spending on eating out until she started brown-bagging it. "I saved $100 in two weeks," she said. Parents can keep it interesting by packing items like hummus and veggies for dipping.

• Don't shy from generics - In-store brands, especially generic organic products, can save major money.

• Think green, save green - Buying one large container of juice and filling a Thermos or reusable container is often cheaper - and more environmentally-friendly - than buying individual juice boxes. Forego pre-cut fruits and vegetables. The DIY method is much more cost-effective.

• Get creative with old standbys - Use cookie cutters to make that PB&J a little more special. Try cutting tortillas and pitas into shapes to accompany dipping sauce. Use a rolling pin to roll out a piece of wheat bread, top with tuna or chicken mixed with finely diced veggies, roll up and slice. Call it sushi and let your little one's imagination run wild.
  

• Think outside the (lunch)box - Use a Thermos or insulated container to keep natural macaroni and cheese or oatmeal warm until lunchtime. "I pack whatever we've had for dinner the night before," Jolly said. "(My daughter) thinks it's really cool."

Speaking of lunchboxes, here are some suggestions from Patty Mastracco, recipe developer for Raley's, on how to pack your child a lunch they won't trade.

• Get kids to help - Get your kids to help plan the weekly lunch menu. They are more likely to try new foods if they help prepare them.

• Healthy choices - Dedicate a drawer or bin to healthy things for kids to choose from. Try fruit leather, whole wheat energy bars, dried fruits and nuts.

• Surprise them - Fill a cored apple with peanut butter or almond butter or pack yogurt as a "dip" for fruits.

Whole Foods also has taken note of the trying economic times and posted a plethora of economical lunch box ideas on its Web site. For recipes and more tips, go to the Whole Foods "Build a Better Lunchbox" page.

Need more money-saving meal miracles? Check out The Bee's Shop Cheap blog. Bee blogger Pam Dinsmore scouts for deals daily and each week, recipe researcher Sheila Kern finds delicious recipes using weekly specials.

Today is the last day to cast your ballots in The Bee's Top 20 survey.

We need your suggestions on the top things for families to see, do and eat in the region.

We'll open up a final, multiple choice-style survey next week.

The winning results will be published in the Living Here Family section in October.

To take the survey, follow this link.

Joaquin Sanchez is a spunky 19-month-old with an infectious grin.

He loves wrestling with his two older brothers and throwing things forgotten on the bathroom floor into the tub.

He can give kisses when asked.

Joaquin is also one of 400,000 Americans with Down Syndrome.

On Saturday, Joaquin's cherubic little face will grace Times Square as part of a video production intended to launch National Down Syndrome Awareness Month.

Joaquin's photo from last Halloween - he was just 8 months old in the picture below - will be among 226 photos shown on the MTV plasma screen. The video is by the National Down Syndrome Society.

"I am thrilled about Joaquin being featured in the Times Square video," Jennifer Varanini Sanchez, his mother, wrote me in an e-mail. "I want to share my beautiful boy with the whole world. He is our pride and joy."

Sanchez, of East Sacramento, is a vocal advocate for increasing awareness about people with Down Syndrome, a chromosomal condition that impacts cognitive development in varying degrees.

Sanchez started a blog, Three's A Charm, about her family's experience with Down Syndrome shortly after Joaquin was born last year. Since then, she's documented her family's challenges and milestones in a moving compilation of prose and pictures. She's also developed a line of infant and children's shirts that proclaim "I did it," in celebration of accomplishments by Down Syndrome.

For every T-shirt purchased, Sanchez buys a copy of the book "Gifts 2: How People With Down Syndrome Enrich the World" (Woodbine House, $19.95, 221 pages) and donates it to a local hospital, genetic counselor or pediatrician's office. Sanchez was a contributing author.

I asked Sanchez for some words of advice for other parents of children with Down Syndrome, or expecting parents whose baby may have been diagnosed with Down Syndrome in utero.

Follow the link below to read what Sanchez wrote.

Here's some proof that having dinner with your children is worthwhile: Teens who have dinner with their families fewer than three times a week are twice as likely to use tobacco or marijuana than teens who have frequent family dinners.

A report released today by the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University also found that teens who have infrequent family dinners are more than one and a half times likelier to use alcohol and twice as likely to expect to try drugs in the future.

The report is released in anticipation of Monday being national Family Day, a movement launched by the national center to remind parents of the importance of family dinners and reducing children's risk of smoking, drinking and illegal drug use, according to a news release from the Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse.

First Lady of California Maria Shriver is honorary chair of the center's Family Day, which is being celebrated today in our state. (Shriver is shown at right with A.G. Kawamura, state Food and Agriculture secretary. Bee photo by Lezlie Sterling).

Shriver grew up in a household that placed an emphasis on the family eating dinner together.

"Both my parents worked, so they often traveled, but my mother was very adamant about that," said Shriver, in a phone interview from her Brentwood home. "My parents really used the dining room table as a continuation of the classroom.""

Shriver has continued the tradition with her own family. She and her two sons - her two daughters are now in college - eat dinner together at least five nights a week, more if they don't have their own plans on Friday or Saturday nights.

"I'm lucky to get a weekend night from one of them," she said.

Like other parents, Shriver hears her fair share of complaints about the length of time it takes to have dinner (The center's study found that the average family dinner takes about 35 minutes.) and has had to referee some table-side teenage fights, but the reward is worth the time and effort for parent and child.

"The table isn't just for eating, it's for connecting, conversing and sharing," Shriver said. "I think families desire (the time together) and when they read the statistics of what a difference it makes, the facts and figures don't lie."

The center's report, which has been comprised for the past several years from an annual back-to-school survey, also found that compared with teens who have frequent family dinners, those who have infrequent family dinners are one and a half times likelier to report getting grades C or lower in school.

Researchers also found that 12- and 13-year-olds who infrequently eat dinner with their family are six times likelier to use marijuana, four times likelier to use tobacco and three times likelier to use alcohol than their peers who have frequent family dinners.

I asked Shriver to give some tips for families on improve and increase the frequency of family meal time. Here are her tips:

• Start simple. If you don't have time for dinner together five nights a week, start with one night a week. Add in nights as it becomes more doable or make a New Year's resolution to have two or three dinners together each week. "Anything helps," she said.
• Talk to your kids. Use what's on the table to prompt conversation. Talk about the fruits and vegetables and where they come from, the importance of eating healthy food, agriculture in California. "Sometimes the subjects you're looking for are staring you in the face," Shriver said.
• Don't fret over the food. Children care more about who is at the table than what is on it. The time spent with family - be it a single-parent, a grandparent, a same-sex couple or even a teacher - is really what matters most. "Kids want whoever is in your family at the table," she said. "The food is secondary."

More than 600 restaurants throughout California are offering families free meals for children today in celebration of Family Day. For more information, check out my previous blog post.

How often do you eat dinner with your family? Is it enjoyable? What are your techniques for starting conversation? Post your thoughts and comments here.

We parents devote an awful lot of time to choosing and getting our children into the right preschool. Consider Monica McMahon.

She and her husband toured an East Sacramento preschool last October and were told a spot likely wouldn't open up for their son for another year.

McMahon, who works for the state Department of Education, knew the value of following up - it signals a continued interest, not to mention dedication.

"I proceeded to call every single Monday for eight months," she said. "It took me eight months, but I got him in. For me, it was worth the wait and I was going to play the game."

The preschool conversation has been swirling for years, but was resurrected after a humorous documentary about the mad-cap competition for private nursery school spots in New York City hit DVD this summer. "Nursery University" follows parents desperately trying to nab spots at top preschools, convinced that failure means a lifetime of "what ifs?" and minimum wage.

I scoffed at the parents who hired consultants and cried when their children weren't accepted. But I can't escape the fact that a similar situation, albeit on a different scale, exists in many regions of the country, including Sacramento.

I confess to being just a little worried. I found myself wondering about my own children Saturday after a five-minute conversation with my preschooler.

He has two elbows, he told me, and so does his little sister, and whaddya know, so does Mommy. This tiny flash of insight, obviously provoked by something he had learned at nursery, got me to thinking about where my son would fall on the bell curve.

He continued to prattle away. I worried.

What avenue is best? Should it be Montessori or Waldorf? Free play versus structured activity?

Children are more socially and emotionally ready to enter school if they attend high-caliber preschools where they learn pre-literacy skills and early mathematics, said Kimberly Biddle, an associate professor of child development at California State University, Sacramento.

"It helps them get ready for school even just in terms of routine," she said.

So, what's it like trying to get a child into popular preschools?

At Great Beginnings Child Development Center in Curtis Park, the wait list is often at least a year for the preschool program, said Stephanie Levenhagen, the school's owner and director.

In Roseville, public preschools also often have wait lists, but the length of time often depends on neighborhood demographics. There, about 90 percent of children find spots in the programs.

"We're usually more desirable because we're much more affordable," said Rob Nakamura, the city's parks and recreation manager.

The wait list for Sacramento Country Day School's pre-kindergarten program varies, but Headmaster Steve Repsher doesn't anticipate much of one this year due to the economy. Tuition for the school's pre-kindergarten program currently is $16,400, the school's Web site states.

The economic downturn likely is forcing parents to wait longer to enroll children in private preschool as a cost-saving measure, he said. The situation there This mirrors a larger trend - the National Association of Independent Schools reports enrollment down about 4.5 percent nationwide from last year, Repsher said.

Since admission to Country Day's pre-K program also means a guaranteed spot in a kindergarten class and beyond (the school is pre-K through 12th grade), attending can vault students to high academic achievement, Repsher said.

"It seems odd to speak of college prep at pre-K, but it is the beginning of that road," he said.

McMahon was willing to devote time and money into her son's preschool education because, like many parents, she simply wants what's best for her child.

"You want to give them everything you can," she said. "You want them to be as prepared as they possibly can be," she said.

Do you worry about where to send your child to preschool? Have you found the perfect spot? What were your secrets to getting your child past the wait list? If you have more than one child, did you shell out big bucks for the first and go economical on the second? How did it work out?

Post your thoughts and comments here.

Linda Moffatt tried to learn how not to act old. It was too much work.

The 62-year-old Citrus Heights state employee requested the book "How Not To Act Old: 185 Ways to Pass for Phat, Sick, Hot, Dope, Awesome, or at Least Not Totally Lame" (Harper, $14.99, 192 pages) when I put it up for grabs last month. She wanted to better understand her teenage grandsons and younger coworkers who "seem to think dinosaurs still roamed the earth when I was born."

The best-selling book, from Pamela Redmond Satran, the creator of the blog by the same name, offers a list of topics such as "Why not to have sex or a dinner part on a Saturday night, and what to do instead" and "Where to wax, and exactly what a Brazilian means."

Moffatt, quite the humorous writer herself, wrote a review of the book for this blog. Follow the link below to read it.

You have secret information we want to know.

Parents, grandparents and caregivers have the inside track on the best parks, the best pumpkin patch, the best thing to do for free in the Sacramento region.

It's time for you, dear reader, to 'fess up.

You can share so many things that will help every other parent or guardian in the region -- the No. 1 family-friendly restaurant or the top spot to send mom to relax, for instance.

Our preliminary online survey is available through Sept. 22, with a final survey to follow. To cast your vote, follow this link.

The results will be compiled into a Top 20 list of things for families to do, see and eat in the region.

Armed with this kind of knowledge, you can conquer the world. OK, maybe not. But you will know which bakery has the best birthday cakes and which restaurant won't sit you by the kitchen if you walk in with a toddler.

The Bee's Top 20 list will be published in the Living Here Family section in October.

The start of the school year also can mean the return of sleep problems for children.

Establish a sleep routine, however, and those problems just might fade as quickly as a dream.

Dr. Alan Shatzel, division head of neurology for Mercy Medical Group in Sacramento, said understanding how much sleep children require, upholding a sleep routine and keeping a calm family atmosphere are essential.

"Consistency is kind of the key," he said. "If there's any change in a child's behavior - excessive sleepiness, poor school performance, mood problems -parents should understand that it can be related to poor sleep quality, disturbance or insufficient amounts of sleep."

In general, children ages 1 to 3 years old need 12 to 14 hours of sleep, 3- to 5-year-olds require 11 to 13 hours, 5- to 12-year-olds need about 10 to 11 hours and preteens and teenagers should get about 9 1/2 hours of sleep.

While bedtimes and alarm clocks are usually dictated by the school schedule, helping children relax before bedtime is critical to their sleep quality and quantity, he said.

"Realistically, for a relaxing bedtime routine, no computers or TVs in the bedrooms," said Shatzel, who also is a board-certified sleep disorder specialist. "Try to avoid all those stimulating activities."

If a child is going to be exposed to television or games at some point during the day, make sure the content is age-appropriate. Failing to do so can result in sleep disturbance or continuity for a child, he said.

A relaxation routine should start about 30 to 60 minutes before bedtime. Ideally, children should also stop using electronic media within two hours of bedtime.

Make sure the temperature in the bedroom is comfortable and dim the lights to foster a comfortable, relaxing atmosphere, Shatzel said.

Parents also should pay attention to a child's diet, which can play a role in abetting sleep problems. Caffeine should be avoided in the evening, and parents should look out for foods, such as chocolate, that contain caffeine.

Decongestants and cough medicines also can be stimulating and should try to be avoided in the evening, he said.

If children continue to experience sleep problems, have them seen by their pediatrician or consider taking them to a sleep specialist.

Mood problems with children can be directly tied to sleep difficulty, Shatzel said.

"If we can identify that it's related to a sleep disturbance, we can treat it," he said.

While Shatzel doesn't recommend a specific type of pillow to help improve children's sleep, The Bee was sent a pillow claiming to do just that. Follow the link below to learn if it worked.

I had about four or five people advise me not to go to San Francisco this Labor Day weekend. Not to mention newspaper articles, TV reports and Caltrans officials echoing the same warning to stay away.

Their reason was logical - the Bay Bridge was closed for repairs and traffic likely would be backed up on alternate routes.

"I do not think that's a good idea," one polite colleague said, looking at me with a horrified expression that belied her real opinion of my crazy idea.

The trek wasn't without a good reason. My husband and I had bought a membership to the California Academy of Sciences and had been waiting for an opportunity to take our children. The quickest route seemed to be over the Golden Gate Bridge anyway, so we decided to yield to our (read: my) stubbornness and make a break for it.

Miraculously, we got there without so much as a traffic jam. We coasted through about three counties and over the bridge to Golden Gate Park with ease. Our luck prevailed and we even found street parking about a block away.

We spent about an hour in the Steinhart Aquarium, discovering tank after tank of awe-inspiring sea life. Our 19-month-old had the most fun, darting to and from exhibits and exclaiming "Whoa!" as she watched creatures like tiny jellyfish and sea horses swim about. The aquarium also has a hands-on exhibit allowing visitors to touch starfish and other creatures.

After a picnic lunch on the beautiful grounds between the Academy and the de Young it was on to the Kimball Natural History Museum, where our 3-year-old became enamored with the Tyrannosaurus Rex skeleton. We were also impressed with the 87-foot Blue Whale skeleton suspended from the ceiling and the wealth of interesting factoids presented by a museum employee who spotted our interest in the giant marine mammal.

One of the museum's main attractions, a colony of African penguins, were entertaining to watch, but the crowd congregated in front of the display made it extremely hard for children to get a closer peek.

All told, we traveled four hours round trip to spend two hours at a venue. Was it worth it? Definitely. The only disappointment was our own inability to stay longer (the call of nap time for our little ones was just too strong). We're already plotting a subsequent visit and plan to explore the other intriguing offerings the Academy holds, such as the Morrison Planetarium and the four-story rainforest.

If you're looking for a fun, educational and exciting place to take your family, this is a San Francisco gem that is well worth the drive and inevitable round of "Are we there yet?"

Even on a holiday weekend with a closed bridge.

Here's some statistics that are hard to stomach: About one out of 25 females and one out of 80 males ages 15 to 19 years old in Sacramento County had a reported case of chlamydia or gonorrhea last year, data from the state Department of Public Health reveals.

I came across these grimace-inducing facts while reporting a story for Tuesday's Living Here section about how to talk to your teenager about sex.

When I embarked on reporting the story, I expected to unearth some data that would indicate teenagers are having sex more than parents suspect (I did). I expected an increasing teen pregnancy rate (I did). I didn't expect to find that so many were contracting sexually transmitted diseases.

Bear in mind - those are only the reported cases. How many more cases are going untreated and unreported?

And now for the really uncomfortable reality - the epidemic of STDs among teens may be due in part to public health departments not being able to control it, said Dr. Glennah Trochet, Sacramento County's public health officer.

Ordinarily, the way an STD is controlled is the case is reported to the health department and officials there contact the person and gets the infected person's partners in for testing. Then those people's partners are contacted and so on, she said.

"We just don't have the resources to do that with every single case," Trochet said. "So the comprehensive investigation just doesn't happen ... It might be that now we just have so much of a disease, you may get infected on your very first sexual experience."

Egads. So what's a parent to do?

Local and national experts agree that we need to be talking to our children, at a fairly young age, about our family values surrounding sex, our expectations of our children and safe sex.

If you're a parent of a tween or teenager, please read the story in Tuesday's paper. There are tips on how to start the conversation and what the talk might sound like.

It may just save your child from suffering some very adult consequences.

Seasonal flu shots are making an early appearance in pediatric offices this year thanks to the H1N1 virus and vaccine.

The seasonal flu vaccines are available now - which is slightly earlier than usual - because the H1N1 vaccine likely will be available as early as mid-October, said Dr. Ken Ashley, a pediatrician and medical director of Sutter Medical Group,

"We would like to separate these slightly to allow the (H1N1) vaccine to provide better protection from the virus," Ashley said in an e-mail.

Seasonal flu vaccines are recommended for children ages 6 months to 18 years old.

Doctors also recommend that children ages 6 months and older be given the H1N1 vaccine, which is a two-part vaccination given one month apart, he said.

Pregnant women, parents of children less than 6 months old and children will be among those first in line to receive the H1N1 vaccine. Other target groups include healthcare and emergency medical workers, people between 6 months and 24 years old and people between 25 and 64 who are at higher risk due to chronic health disorders or compromised immune systems, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Ashley said the H1N1 vaccine, like the seasonal flu vaccine, isn't a panacea.

"This vaccine, as with most vaccines, decreases the likelihood, although does not guarantee you will not get the virus," he said. "If you do the virus after the vaccine, it is often less severe."

For more information about the H1N1 virus and vaccine, click on the CDC's flu widget below.

An El Dorado Hills youth development organization is offering a 10-week workshop for parents interested in better managing out-of-control teenagers.

Parent Project is a nationwide training program for parents of children ages 11 to 18 years old. The Parent Advisory Council, a subcommittee of the Vision Coalition of El Dorado Hills, has adopted the training and is holding the next series of classes starting Sept. 10. The classes will be held from 6 to 9 p.m. every Thursday through Nov. 12.

The workshop is funded by a grant through the Sierra Health Foundation.

Parents will learn how to manage back-talk, school performance, truancy, alcohol and drug abuse, violence and talk of suicide, states a Vision Coalition news release.

The program was created for parents with problematic teenagers, but it's also recommended for parents who want to take a proactive approach.

Parents are given workbooks and weekly homework and asked to practice learned skills and concepts at home between sessions, the release states. Organizers recommend that both parents attend the classes, but single parents are welcome.

Cost of the workshop is $150 for 10 weeks and includes refreshments. Discounts and financial assistance may be available upon request.

The classes will be held at the White Rock Village Community Room, 2200 Valley View Parkway, El Dorado Hills.

For more information, e-mail Raeann Jones at or call her at (916) 224-1650.

Have you heard this disturbing news?

A 61-year-old man has been charged with felony cruelty to children in the first degree after allegedly slapping a stranger's crying toddler at a Georgia Wal-Mart.

CBS Atlanta reports on its Web site that the alleged incident happened Monday at the store in Stone Mountain.

Roger Stephens allegedly warned the 2-year-old girl's mother that if she didn't quiet the child, he would do it for her, according to information CBS obtained from the police report.

The child continued to cry and Stephens came up to the girl and slapped her several times in the face, the police report states.

The mother screamed and called for security and another shopper stopped Stephens. The girl suffered some redness in the face, but was not injured, CBS reports.

The story is obviously a worst-case scenario of what could happen if your child is crying or throwing a fit in a story, but it made me wonder how other parents deal with upset or misbehaving children in public. Which draws up the whole spanking, and perhaps more controversial, spanking in public, discussion.

I'm not brave enough to venture out with my kids unarmed - and by that I mean I always have juice boxes, a snack or a book or tiny toy at the ready. Yes, it seems like bribery, but it beats a tantrum any day. And I've found that distraction can sometimes be more successful than discipline.

What are your thoughts on discipline in public? Do you have any advice or tips for parents on how to deal with upset children? Post your thoughts and comments here.

The federal government has found a monstrous ally in its quest to help prevent the spread of the H1N1 virus - Elmo.

The little red Muppet monster so beloved by the preschoolers is starring in a series of four public service announcements that will begin airing today. The campaign's launch was intended to coincide with September being the start of National Preparedness Month.

The Department of Health and Human Services, Department of Homeland Security, Department of Education and Sesame Workshop collaborated on the campaign, according to a White House news release.

"Younger children and their parents are some of the people most at risk from the new H1N1 flu virus and with schools starting back up again and the weather starting to get colder, we need to do everything we can to get these important messages about how to prevent the spread of the flu out there," Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius stated in the news release.

The PSAs feature Elmo and Gordon, a human Sesame Street character, talking about hygiene issues such as hand washing and sneezing into the bend of the arm.

Click on the You Tube video below to play on of the PSAs.

The series can also be found on the government's new flu Web site.

 

It took seven hours, some heavy lifting and a fair amount of stress, but I am $130 and one closet richer.

I wrote a story this spring about the different ways to consign and sell used childrens items. After talking to several moms who swore by consigning at Just Between Friends, a bi-annual childrens sale held at the Sacramento Convention Center (there's also a sale at the Placer County Fairgrounds in Roseville coming up in September), I decided to try it for myself.

Prepping my children's outgrown clothes was nostalgia-inducing fun. Scrubbing down toys wasn't too painful, since my husband bore the brunt of that chore. Entering the tags in the online system was easy to navigate.

The night before the sale, however, was a bit harder. While I tagged and cleaned items, my husband crammed the goods, which included large toddler toys and baby gear, into the back of my SUV.

Stuffed animals filled my kids' car seats. Parenting books and tiny shoes littered the floor. A mountain of toys covered every inch of the trunk.

My car looked like a Fisher-Price graveyard. Every once in a while, a toy would bleat a perky little tune or phrase, as if trying to convince me that it still held fun for my children.

The next day, my mother-in-law - who should be nominated for sainthood - and I drove the carload over to the convention center.

Here's a breakdown of the roughly one hour of work involved: park car at docks, check in, haul stuff out of car and onto giant cart, bring loaded cart into convention center, move car, set up items in designated screening area, wait for someone to inspect merchandise, race around giant sale area setting up items in specified spots while trying not to knock over other merchandise/pregnant women/small children trying to play with toys you intend to sell.

By the time we left, I didn't really care how much money I made that day. All I wanted was a stiff drink and a dark room.

Of the 70 items we consigned, 41 of them sold, yielding a grand total of about $130 (the franchise takes 35 percent plus a $10 fee). That makes my time prepping and delivering the sale items worth about $18 an hour. Pretty good.

Was it worth the effort? I think so, but I confess that the process was more work than I anticipated. I also like that the items that didn't sell will be donated to Sacramento Food Bank & Family Services' Mother-Baby Program.

If you're the planning type and have some time to invest in consigning, Just Between Friends is a good route.

If you're looking to immediately purge your kids' closets but don't have a lot of spare time, take the items to a childrens resale shop like Babies & Beyond on Freeport Boulevard. You'll get 30 percent of the sale price cash or 50 percent in store credit.

Now if only I can keep the empty closet from filling up again.

It's a bittersweet ending to a gut-wrenching story - Jaycee Lee Dugard, 29, is found alive after being kidnapped near her Meyers home in 1991 when she was just 11 years old.

It's also a story that rocks parents' sense of safety and can make us fearful and guarded against anyone who may look our child's way.

While it's always a good idea to keep careful watch of our children, it's also important to bear in mind the rarity of stranger abductions.

Kidnappings by strangers are among the most highly publicized crimes and tend to deeply shake the national consciousness, but they are among the rarest of crimes against children.

Kidnapping makes up less than 2 percent of all violent crimes against juveniles reported to police, with stranger kidnapping being the most uncommon form of reported kidnappings, according to the Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention.

The department conducted a study in 2002 of non-family abducted children based on national data primarily from 1999.

Researchers found that of the 58,200 children abducted in the legal sense - meaning held against their will for a modest amount of time or moved even a short distance, often in commission of other crimes - an estimated 115 were stereotypical kidnappings. Stereotypical kidnappings were defined as abductions by strangers or slight acquaintances and involving a child transported 50 miles or more, detained overnight, held for ransom or with intent to keep the child permanently, or killed.

Of those children who were stereotypically kidnapped, 57 percent returned alive, 32 percent returned injured, 40 percent were killed and 4 percent never returned, the study reports.

Jaycee Lee Dugard, once thought to have fallen in that tiny percentage of children who never came home, thankfully will be counted among those who return alive.

Her heart-wrenching story, which includes bearing two children with her alleged captor, likely will captivate our attention for days and weeks to come, but hopefully it will also serve as a reminder to put our arms around our children and appreciate their safety.

For information on how to keep your kids safe and talk to them about their safety, check out this tip sheet from the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children. 25_ways_to_make_kids_safer.pdf

Back to school season is in full swing, and accompanying it is dozens of new products billed as the new must-have school supply.

The Bee's mailboxes have been flooded with gear and goods, but after some serious sifting, there was a pile of cool new items worthy of further scrutiny.

Two items that caught my attention, and speak to a trend perhaps, were memory sticks so cool parents may want to snag one for themselves.

Omnitech's Color Changing USB Flash Drive is lauded by Staples as one of the Top 10 back to school products this year. The drive changes color through heat transfer, so as its plugged into a USB port, the color changes from blue to purple or red to orange. The drive has a 2GB storage capacity and retails for $9.99.

Jazwares also has launched a memory stick that plays on your sweet tooth. Hershey's Miniatures Memory Sticks and Sweet Assortments look like a miniature Hershey Milk Chocolate, Mr. Goodbar or Krackel candy bars.

The design is so realistic that I actually thought the company had sent a little candy bar. It wasn't until I went to open the packaging and turned the "candy bar" over that I realized it was a memory stick and had raid an editor's candy drawer for my chocolate fix.

The memory sticks, which also are available in Twizzlers and Bubble Yum designs and a variety of gigabyte capacities, retail from $14.99 to $29.99.

I enlisted the help of a class of middle schoolers at a summer journalism workshop at California State University, Sacramento to help me review an assortment of other new products.

Click on the link below to read what they had to say about Mead's and Crayola's new offerings for the 2009 back to school season.

Kaiser Permanente South Sacramento Medical Center has been designated a Baby-Friendly birth facility.

The hospital, where about 225 babies are born each month, recently received the designation for its efforts to promote breastfeeding among mothers who deliver there. Sutter Davis Hospital and The Birth Center in Fair Oaks also are Baby-Friendly hospitals.

Kaiser South Sacramento is one of only 83 hospitals in the country to receive the prestigious title, which is part of the Baby Friendly Hospital Initiative, a program of the World Health Organization and UNICEF.

Kaiser South Sacramento had the highest exclusive breastfeeding rate, 70.9 percent, of any hospital in the county in 2007, according to state Department of Public Health data compiled by the WIC Association and UC Davis Human Lactation Center. The data is the most recent available.

Hospitals support moms who want to feed their babies formula, but traditionally, there has been little support for moms who are following the American Academy of Pediatrics' recommendations to feed babies breastmilk the first year of life, said Barb Hanson, assistant manager of health educationin charge of the hospital's lactation services.

"At South Sac, we put all the policies and procedures in place so mom can be fully supported in her decision to breastfeed," she said.

That includes immediate skin-to-skin contact between mother and baby. (shown at left: Eileen Lee, of Elk Grove, is shown spending skin-to-skin time with her daughter, Eliana Lee, who she delivered at Kaiser South Sacramento in November 2007.)

"That's what babies are really wired to do - breastfeed within that first hour of life," said Hanson, who also is a registered nurse and board certified lactation consultant. "When you're removing a baby and doing a procedure on them or passing them around the room, it really interrupts mom and baby's ability to begin that process."

Mothers who have a caesarean section can have skin-to-skin contact within 30 minutes of their baby's birth.

"For moms who weren't able to have a vaginal birth, it can already feel like a loss for them not to have birthed the way they anticipated," she said. "Breastfeeding is one of the more normalizing things that can happen."

The hospital also encourages mothers to "room in" with their babies - meaning the babies aren't whisked away to nurseries - thereby increasing the opportunities for breastfeeding.

Kaiser South Sacramento also is careful about supplementing breast milk with formula.

"Believing that just breast milk is enough for most healthy babies is also a policy of ours," Hanson said.

The hospital has lactation consultants on staff and a lactation center for moms, which offers a free walk-in clinic six days a week and a breastfeeding support center where moms can purchase breastfeeding equipment.

"It's so reassuring for our moms to have that support," Hanson said.

The Baby Friendly designation means a lot to the hospital's staff, which worked hard to complete a 10-step process including policy changes and staff training. The training was made possible through First 5 Sacramento Commission grant.

"It really sets us apart in the community and demonstrates our commitment to support moms who are choosing to breastfeed," she said.

Hanson also had advice for mothers either thinking about breastfeeding or trying to breastfeed their babies.

"I would encourage them to take a class and spend time with a friend who was successful with breastfeeding," she said. "Woman to woman support is the No. 1 thing moms say helped them be successful."

If more help is needed, look for an international board certified lactation consultant (IBCLC) or contact a local La Leche League.

Fathers can also help mothers succeed with breastfeeding - all it takes is a little encouragement. Provide positive messages about breastfeeding and let the mother know that she is supported.

Taking care of the mother is key to the family's health.

 "Studies have shown that it's important to mother the mother," Hanson said. "When we take care of our moms, they are better mothers."

For more information about Kaiser South Sacramento's maternity services, go the hospital's Web site.

Did you choose to breastfeed your child? Were there enough lactation resources at the hospital where you delivered? Post a comment here.

Looking for a breastfeeding guidebook? I just received a copy of "Great Expectations: The Essential Guide to Breastfeeding" (Sterling, $14.95, 312 pages) by Dr. Marianne Neifert, a.k.a. Dr. Mom. The new book offers tips on pumping, storing and feeding expressed milk, strategies for working moms, guidelines on weaning and other advice. The book is free to a local mom who wants to read it and write a little review, which may be published on this blog. E-mail me if you are interested. First come, first served.

Thinking of taking your child to the salon for a back-to-school haircut but need help figuring out what's cool this season?

Look no further.

Pam Knight, executive director of education at Frederico Beauty Institute in North Natomas,  dished on children's haircut trends.

Turns out the "Faux Hawk" is the all the rage with the elementary school set this year.

"Basically, it's like a traditional boy's haircut on the sides and back but the top is left a little longer," she said.

A little gel in the top layer lends a Mohawk-type appearance, while pushing the top layer over to the side yields a more traditional appearance.

"It's kind of a versatile cut," she said.

Young girls are heading more toward simple trims and bangs, while middle and high school age girls are leaning to layers and swoop bangs to modernize their looks.

High schoolers also are increasingly going for the disconnect look, which involves shorter and longer pieces included in the hair sculpture, Knight said.

Knight also offered tips on how to stretch the family budget when it comes to hair care.

The institute is offering a money-saving deal this back-to-school season: $5 haircuts this month for children up to 12 years old. What's more, children under 5 years old can get a haircut for the same price as their age. The services are performed by students supervised by certified instructors. Haircuts are by appointment, but walk-in services also are available.

For moms who get their hair colored, stretching the length of time between sessions can save serious cash. Getting your hair colored every six weeks at $150 a session can amount to $1,350 a year. Go every eight weeks and the total drops to $1,050 a year, saving you $300. That can buy 15 packs of diapers!

"The best thing they can do is buy the color shampoos to enhance the color they have on their hair," she said. "It will kind of buy you more time."

Another option is demi-permanent hair color.

"It colors, but it gradually fades out and doesn't give you that definite (grow-out) line," Knight said.

A drawback, however, is that it is a deposit-only color and won't highlight hair, she said.

For more information on the back-to-school special or the institute's sale on beauty products, go to Frederico's Web site.