Mom.me

It can be said that I've taken this blog from the cradle to the grave.

I had the idea to launch Mom.me in the spring as a spot for parenting advice, family events, product reviews and musings.

It grew to include a column in our Living Here section on Tuesdays, when the focus is on family.

But to be honest, as my workload grew (I also write stories for our Family and Food & Wine sections, as well as blog on Appetizers and 21Q), so too did the amount of time I was missing with my own family.

The irony was painful.

I decided to take some of the very same advice I had passed along here and in my column.

Cathy Greenberg, a sociobiologist and co-author of "What Happy Working Mothers Know: How New Findings in Positive Psychology Can Lead to a Healthy and Happy Work/Life Balance," (John Wiley & Sons Inc., $19.95, 256 pages), had told me in an interview for this blog that we moms (and many dads too) lack the courage to say no because we're afraid to compromise friendships and relationships.

It took about a month for Greenberg's message to penetrate my stubborn skull.

I confessed to managers about being overwhelmed, to the late nights and ridiculously early mornings in front of my computer, to the fact that something had to give.

That something is this blog.

The great news, however, is that I will continue to write my column for the Family section. I also will continue to post items on our entertainment blog, 21Q, and food news and recipes on our Appetizers blog. You can also find my writing in the Family and Food & Wine section.

So thank you, dear blog readers, for your following and support. Without this experience, of which you were a central part, I wouldn't be traveling down this new path.

Please be sure to e-mail me if there is a story or idea that you think I should explore for my column. Your input is appreciated, and central to ensuring that my work is reflective of issues and topics that you are interested in learning more about.

Best to you all.

Some families are willing to go to great lengths for a crack at fame and fortune.

Take the Heene family.

Parents Richard and Mayumi Heene, of Fort Collins, Colo., are accused of staging allegedly staged<NO>a runaway balloon caper starring their 6-year-old son, Falcon.

Larimer County Sheriff Jim Alderden is now saying the whole thing was a hoax, staged as a publicity stunt to land a reality TV show. One entertainment media outlet has paid the couple in connection with the balloon launch, the Los Angeles Times reported Monday.

The Heenes have a history with reality shows. They've already been featured twice on ABC's "Wife Swap."

The couple face possible state and federal criminal charges in connection with the hoax, as well as other sanctions.

Kevin Wehr, an associate professor of sociology at California State University, Sacramento, said he's not surprised that an alleged attempt at reality stardom was behind the Heene fiasco.

Society has become addicted to television, and reality TV has simply extended the fascination.

The problem is that reality TV isn't really what it claims to be: While we think we're watching real people, those people "are largely reading off scripts that are very similar to the shows done by actors," Wehr said.

"Because we see these people as 'real people,' there is a certain amount of voyeurism involved," he said. "I think this really leads to an increase in people behaving badly."

What's truly disheartening is how much time we all dedicate to these types of shows and the impact they have on our lives.

We talked about "Octomom" for months following the birth of her eight babies. (To summarize, the birth of her octuplets in January brought her total number of kids to 14.)

The same holds true for Jon and Kate Gosselin, the stars of TLC's "Jon & Kate Plus 8," who announced earlier this year that they were divorcing.

We ate it up.

The show's ratings skyrocketed, ranking No. 1 among the top 10 cable programs in the Nielsen ratings for the week of June 1-7 with 5.94 million viewers tuning in, according to online Nielsen information.

The couple and their set of twins and sextuplets have graced the covers of tabloids and dominated pop culture conversations ever since. And it likely will continue now that the show will shift to focus on single mother Kate and her brood on Nov. 2.

Wehr said our collective fascination with reality television has become a stand-in for actual relationships, making it an even more powerful medium.

"This really diminishes us as people," he said. "We're talking about the latest antics of (celebrities) instead of talking about real issues. These are fake issues."

There may be hope on the horizon, however.

The number of reality shows currently on television and their pervasiveness indicates that the bubble might burst soon, Wehr said.

"The way these things go in terms of the spectacle they represent is they become massively popular and then after a while, saturate the market and people tune out," he said. "My hunch is that we're about at that point with reality TV."

Let's hope so.

OK parents, here's the skinny on H1H1 vaccinations for your children: some pediatric offices in the region have them, others don't.

Kaiser Permanente has received 17,000 doses of the nasal spray version of the H1N1 vaccine for use in Northern California and began distributing a limited number of them to pediatric clinics earlier this week, Dr. Stephen M. Parodi, Kaiser's chief of infectious disease, wrote in an e-mail to The Bee.

The vaccinations are being given only to certain high-risk groups as directed by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and state Department of Public Health guidelines.

Patients are asked to call Kaiser's flu information hotline at (800) 573-5811 to determine if they are eligible.

Kaiser anticipates that it will receive more vaccinations, including the injectable form, in coming weeks.

Belong to Mercy, UC Davis Health System and Sutter medical groups? Follow the link below to learn more about vaccination availability with those providers. 

Prescription drug abuse among teenagers is a growing problem, but one local youth organization is holding an event this week to help curb the trend.

The Vision Coalition of El Dorado Hills and its partners will be collecting old and unused medication at "Operation Medicine Cabinet" from 4 to 7 p.m. Wednesday.

The event also will include education for parents and teens by law enforcement and emergency personnel, states a Vision Coalition news release.

Jon Daily, director of Recovery Happens Counseling Services, also will help parents understand prescription drug abuse and how to identify abuse and intervene.

"As adults, we think of drugs as illegal substances," he stated in the release. "However, kids think of drugs as anything that creates intoxication which includes many household medicines."

Two El Dorado Hills residents, both in their early 20s, died in the past 11 weeks from accidental overdoses of prescription medication, said DJ Peterson, the organization's executive director.

Prescription drug abuse has become increasingly prevalent among teenagers and young adults nationwide, according to the White House Office of National Drug Control Policy.

"Abuse of prescription pain killers now ranks second, only behind marijuana, as the nation's most prevalent illegal drug problem," the office's Web site states.

Peterson said getting old or unused prescription drugs out of homes is critical.

"If we don't do something, more lives will be lost," he said.

Medication collection will be held from 4 to 7 p.m. and the educational talks will be held from 5:15 to 6 p.m. at the El Dorado Hills Community Services District Pavilion, 1021 Harvard Way, El Dorado Hills.

For more information about the organization or the event, to the Vision Coalition's Web site.

Most parents just can't resist taking a bath-time photo of their baby or small child.

It's innocence personified - those sweet little faces beaming at the camera from amongst a tub full of bubbles.

We parents eagerly snap photos and file them away in our computer hard drives or photo albums, saving them for the day when we can show them to the child's spouse or our own grandchildren.

But an investigation and subsequent lawsuit in Arizona has spurred a national debate about whether it's OK to take such photos and what parents can do with them.

An Arizona couple was accused of sexual abuse last fall after they took photos of their kids that included bath-time shots to Wal-mart for processing.

Lisa and Anthony "A.J." Demaree's three young daughters were taken into custody for a month during the investigation. Neither parent was charged, but the couple is now suing Wal-mart and the state.

The photos were among 144 pictures taken during a family vacation. Seven to eight of the bath- and playtime photos showed a "portion or outline of genitalia," the Associated Press reported.

"This is a parent's worst nightmare," Richard Treon, the couple's lawyer, told the AP.

One of my favorite photos of my son is a bathtime shot. He was a little under a year old at the time and standing at the tub in nothing but his little fur-lined Robeez booties, his cute baby tushy facing the camera.

That photo has never been printed. It's never been e-mailed. I'm a little paranoid after years of crime reporting and obtaining a master's degree in criminal justice will do that to a person. But I can't put aside the fear that the photo might be misconstrued or fall into the wrong hands.

Now I'm beginning to think my paranoia may be a blessing in disguise.

Jim Harris, an FBI supervisory special agent who heads the Sacramento office's cyber crime program, said the average kid-in-the-bathtub photo isn't considered sexually explicit in the federal system and there aren't laws that prohibit digitally sending or printing such photos.

Parents should, however, exercise caution when e-mailing or posting their kids' bathtub photos on the Internet.

"I am always in favor of posting as little to the Internet as possible, particularly naked pictures of kids," he said. "There are folks who, even though the picture isn't designed to arouse sexual desire, find them to be arousing."

If you use photo sites, know the terms of service.

"If the company isn't promising anything, they shouldn't expect anything in terms of privacy," Harris said.

Fair Oaks grandmother Klorys Happe said she took bathtub photos of her three children all the time when they were little, their faces adorned with bubble mustaches and beards.

"It was innocent fun," she said.

Happe also cherishes a recent photo of her two grandsons - 2 years old and 6 months at the time - in a bubble bath.

The loss of frivolity in something as simple as a bathtub photo of a child is disappointing, but even more disheartening is the need to protect such photos.

"There are just ugly people out there sometimes that take advantage of innocents," she said. "I'd like to think it's pretty few and far between, but how do we know?"

What do you think? Have you refrained from e-mailing or printing bathtub photos of your kids or grandkids? Post your thoughts and comments here.

Having a chubby baby used to just mean more arm exercise for doting parents and bypassing cute newborn-size clothing given at a baby shower. Not anymore, apparently.

A Grand Junction, Colo. couple recently was denied medical insurance for their 4-month-old son, Alex, because he falls into the 99th percentile for height and weight for babies his age, Nancy Lofholm of The Denver Post reported today.

Alex's "obesity" - he's 17 pounds and about 25 inches long - is considered a pre-existing medical condition that makes him a financial risk. The denial speaks to an issue, called underwriting, that health insurance reform measures are seeking to eliminate, Lofholm reports.

Meanwhile, the Langes are frustrated and planning to appeal the denial, which came from a provider they were attempting to switch to after their current insurer raised rates by 40 percent.

Here's a portion of Lofholm's report:

Insurers don't take babies above the 95th percentile, no matter how healthy they are otherwise.

"I could understand if we could control what he's eating. But he's 4 months old. He's breastfeeding. We can't put him on the Atkins diet or on a treadmill," joked his frustrated father, Bernie Lange, a part-time news anchor at KKCO-TV in Grand Junction. "There is just something absurd about denying an infant."

Click here to read the rest of Lofholm's story.

What do you think? Should insurance companies be able to deny infants insurance because of their weight? Is this a problem in the health care system that you think needs changing or are insurance companies justified in such actions? Post your thoughts and comments here.

Joaquin Sanchez is a spunky 19-month-old with an infectious grin.

He loves wrestling with his two older brothers and throwing things forgotten on the bathroom floor into the tub.

He can give kisses when asked.

Joaquin is also one of 400,000 Americans with Down Syndrome.

On Saturday, Joaquin's cherubic little face will grace Times Square as part of a video production intended to launch National Down Syndrome Awareness Month.

Joaquin's photo from last Halloween - he was just 8 months old in the picture below - will be among 226 photos shown on the MTV plasma screen. The video is by the National Down Syndrome Society.

"I am thrilled about Joaquin being featured in the Times Square video," Jennifer Varanini Sanchez, his mother, wrote me in an e-mail. "I want to share my beautiful boy with the whole world. He is our pride and joy."

Sanchez, of East Sacramento, is a vocal advocate for increasing awareness about people with Down Syndrome, a chromosomal condition that impacts cognitive development in varying degrees.

Sanchez started a blog, Three's A Charm, about her family's experience with Down Syndrome shortly after Joaquin was born last year. Since then, she's documented her family's challenges and milestones in a moving compilation of prose and pictures. She's also developed a line of infant and children's shirts that proclaim "I did it," in celebration of accomplishments by Down Syndrome.

For every T-shirt purchased, Sanchez buys a copy of the book "Gifts 2: How People With Down Syndrome Enrich the World" (Woodbine House, $19.95, 221 pages) and donates it to a local hospital, genetic counselor or pediatrician's office. Sanchez was a contributing author.

I asked Sanchez for some words of advice for other parents of children with Down Syndrome, or expecting parents whose baby may have been diagnosed with Down Syndrome in utero.

Follow the link below to read what Sanchez wrote.

Here's some proof that having dinner with your children is worthwhile: Teens who have dinner with their families fewer than three times a week are twice as likely to use tobacco or marijuana than teens who have frequent family dinners.

A report released today by the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University also found that teens who have infrequent family dinners are more than one and a half times likelier to use alcohol and twice as likely to expect to try drugs in the future.

The report is released in anticipation of Monday being national Family Day, a movement launched by the national center to remind parents of the importance of family dinners and reducing children's risk of smoking, drinking and illegal drug use, according to a news release from the Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse.

First Lady of California Maria Shriver is honorary chair of the center's Family Day, which is being celebrated today in our state. (Shriver is shown at right with A.G. Kawamura, state Food and Agriculture secretary. Bee photo by Lezlie Sterling).

Shriver grew up in a household that placed an emphasis on the family eating dinner together.

"Both my parents worked, so they often traveled, but my mother was very adamant about that," said Shriver, in a phone interview from her Brentwood home. "My parents really used the dining room table as a continuation of the classroom.""

Shriver has continued the tradition with her own family. She and her two sons - her two daughters are now in college - eat dinner together at least five nights a week, more if they don't have their own plans on Friday or Saturday nights.

"I'm lucky to get a weekend night from one of them," she said.

Like other parents, Shriver hears her fair share of complaints about the length of time it takes to have dinner (The center's study found that the average family dinner takes about 35 minutes.) and has had to referee some table-side teenage fights, but the reward is worth the time and effort for parent and child.

"The table isn't just for eating, it's for connecting, conversing and sharing," Shriver said. "I think families desire (the time together) and when they read the statistics of what a difference it makes, the facts and figures don't lie."

The center's report, which has been comprised for the past several years from an annual back-to-school survey, also found that compared with teens who have frequent family dinners, those who have infrequent family dinners are one and a half times likelier to report getting grades C or lower in school.

Researchers also found that 12- and 13-year-olds who infrequently eat dinner with their family are six times likelier to use marijuana, four times likelier to use tobacco and three times likelier to use alcohol than their peers who have frequent family dinners.

I asked Shriver to give some tips for families on improve and increase the frequency of family meal time. Here are her tips:

• Start simple. If you don't have time for dinner together five nights a week, start with one night a week. Add in nights as it becomes more doable or make a New Year's resolution to have two or three dinners together each week. "Anything helps," she said.
• Talk to your kids. Use what's on the table to prompt conversation. Talk about the fruits and vegetables and where they come from, the importance of eating healthy food, agriculture in California. "Sometimes the subjects you're looking for are staring you in the face," Shriver said.
• Don't fret over the food. Children care more about who is at the table than what is on it. The time spent with family - be it a single-parent, a grandparent, a same-sex couple or even a teacher - is really what matters most. "Kids want whoever is in your family at the table," she said. "The food is secondary."

More than 600 restaurants throughout California are offering families free meals for children today in celebration of Family Day. For more information, check out my previous blog post.

How often do you eat dinner with your family? Is it enjoyable? What are your techniques for starting conversation? Post your thoughts and comments here.

We parents devote an awful lot of time to choosing and getting our children into the right preschool. Consider Monica McMahon.

She and her husband toured an East Sacramento preschool last October and were told a spot likely wouldn't open up for their son for another year.

McMahon, who works for the state Department of Education, knew the value of following up - it signals a continued interest, not to mention dedication.

"I proceeded to call every single Monday for eight months," she said. "It took me eight months, but I got him in. For me, it was worth the wait and I was going to play the game."

The preschool conversation has been swirling for years, but was resurrected after a humorous documentary about the mad-cap competition for private nursery school spots in New York City hit DVD this summer. "Nursery University" follows parents desperately trying to nab spots at top preschools, convinced that failure means a lifetime of "what ifs?" and minimum wage.

I scoffed at the parents who hired consultants and cried when their children weren't accepted. But I can't escape the fact that a similar situation, albeit on a different scale, exists in many regions of the country, including Sacramento.

I confess to being just a little worried. I found myself wondering about my own children Saturday after a five-minute conversation with my preschooler.

He has two elbows, he told me, and so does his little sister, and whaddya know, so does Mommy. This tiny flash of insight, obviously provoked by something he had learned at nursery, got me to thinking about where my son would fall on the bell curve.

He continued to prattle away. I worried.

What avenue is best? Should it be Montessori or Waldorf? Free play versus structured activity?

Children are more socially and emotionally ready to enter school if they attend high-caliber preschools where they learn pre-literacy skills and early mathematics, said Kimberly Biddle, an associate professor of child development at California State University, Sacramento.

"It helps them get ready for school even just in terms of routine," she said.

So, what's it like trying to get a child into popular preschools?

At Great Beginnings Child Development Center in Curtis Park, the wait list is often at least a year for the preschool program, said Stephanie Levenhagen, the school's owner and director.

In Roseville, public preschools also often have wait lists, but the length of time often depends on neighborhood demographics. There, about 90 percent of children find spots in the programs.

"We're usually more desirable because we're much more affordable," said Rob Nakamura, the city's parks and recreation manager.

The wait list for Sacramento Country Day School's pre-kindergarten program varies, but Headmaster Steve Repsher doesn't anticipate much of one this year due to the economy. Tuition for the school's pre-kindergarten program currently is $16,400, the school's Web site states.

The economic downturn likely is forcing parents to wait longer to enroll children in private preschool as a cost-saving measure, he said. The situation there This mirrors a larger trend - the National Association of Independent Schools reports enrollment down about 4.5 percent nationwide from last year, Repsher said.

Since admission to Country Day's pre-K program also means a guaranteed spot in a kindergarten class and beyond (the school is pre-K through 12th grade), attending can vault students to high academic achievement, Repsher said.

"It seems odd to speak of college prep at pre-K, but it is the beginning of that road," he said.

McMahon was willing to devote time and money into her son's preschool education because, like many parents, she simply wants what's best for her child.

"You want to give them everything you can," she said. "You want them to be as prepared as they possibly can be," she said.

Do you worry about where to send your child to preschool? Have you found the perfect spot? What were your secrets to getting your child past the wait list? If you have more than one child, did you shell out big bucks for the first and go economical on the second? How did it work out?

Post your thoughts and comments here.

Linda Moffatt tried to learn how not to act old. It was too much work.

The 62-year-old Citrus Heights state employee requested the book "How Not To Act Old: 185 Ways to Pass for Phat, Sick, Hot, Dope, Awesome, or at Least Not Totally Lame" (Harper, $14.99, 192 pages) when I put it up for grabs last month. She wanted to better understand her teenage grandsons and younger coworkers who "seem to think dinosaurs still roamed the earth when I was born."

The best-selling book, from Pamela Redmond Satran, the creator of the blog by the same name, offers a list of topics such as "Why not to have sex or a dinner part on a Saturday night, and what to do instead" and "Where to wax, and exactly what a Brazilian means."

Moffatt, quite the humorous writer herself, wrote a review of the book for this blog. Follow the link below to read it.

The start of the school year also can mean the return of sleep problems for children.

Establish a sleep routine, however, and those problems just might fade as quickly as a dream.

Dr. Alan Shatzel, division head of neurology for Mercy Medical Group in Sacramento, said understanding how much sleep children require, upholding a sleep routine and keeping a calm family atmosphere are essential.

"Consistency is kind of the key," he said. "If there's any change in a child's behavior - excessive sleepiness, poor school performance, mood problems -parents should understand that it can be related to poor sleep quality, disturbance or insufficient amounts of sleep."

In general, children ages 1 to 3 years old need 12 to 14 hours of sleep, 3- to 5-year-olds require 11 to 13 hours, 5- to 12-year-olds need about 10 to 11 hours and preteens and teenagers should get about 9 1/2 hours of sleep.

While bedtimes and alarm clocks are usually dictated by the school schedule, helping children relax before bedtime is critical to their sleep quality and quantity, he said.

"Realistically, for a relaxing bedtime routine, no computers or TVs in the bedrooms," said Shatzel, who also is a board-certified sleep disorder specialist. "Try to avoid all those stimulating activities."

If a child is going to be exposed to television or games at some point during the day, make sure the content is age-appropriate. Failing to do so can result in sleep disturbance or continuity for a child, he said.

A relaxation routine should start about 30 to 60 minutes before bedtime. Ideally, children should also stop using electronic media within two hours of bedtime.

Make sure the temperature in the bedroom is comfortable and dim the lights to foster a comfortable, relaxing atmosphere, Shatzel said.

Parents also should pay attention to a child's diet, which can play a role in abetting sleep problems. Caffeine should be avoided in the evening, and parents should look out for foods, such as chocolate, that contain caffeine.

Decongestants and cough medicines also can be stimulating and should try to be avoided in the evening, he said.

If children continue to experience sleep problems, have them seen by their pediatrician or consider taking them to a sleep specialist.

Mood problems with children can be directly tied to sleep difficulty, Shatzel said.

"If we can identify that it's related to a sleep disturbance, we can treat it," he said.

While Shatzel doesn't recommend a specific type of pillow to help improve children's sleep, The Bee was sent a pillow claiming to do just that. Follow the link below to learn if it worked.

The bookshelf above my desk is once again crowded with parenting and childrens books.

If you are local and interested in reviewing one of the books and writing up a few paragraphs, e-mail me your name, age, city of residence, childrens' ages and the title of the book you'd like. First come, first served.

Your review may be included in a future post on this blog and in my column in Tuesday's Living Here Family section.

Here are the titles available:

"Growing Up Global: Raising Children to Be At Home in the World" (Ballantine Books, $16, 281 pages). The book includes activities, games and media suggestions for expanding the family's view of the world, explanations of diversity and ways to increase geographic knowledge.

"Great Expectations: The Essential Guide to Breastfeeding" (Sterling, $14.95, 312). Dr. Marianne Neifert gives moms advice on how to prepare for breastfeeding before the baby arrives, strategies for breastfeeding and working, guidelines for weaning and more.

"Invisible Girls: The Truth About Sexual Abuse" (Seal Press, $16.95, 334 pages). Dr. Patti Feuereisen offers advice for young women and first-person narratives from survivors.

"Too Close for Comfort: Questioning the Intimacy of Today's New Mother-Daughter Relationship" (Berkley Books, $15, 292 pages). Should mothers and daughters be best friends too, or does it skew the relationship? Authors Linda Perlman Gordon and Susan Morris Shaffer explore the debate.

"Raising Children Who Soar: A Guide to Healthy Risk-Taking in an Uncertain World" (Teachers College Press, $21.95, 191 pages). A how-to guide on helping raise successful, confident children.

"We Dare You: Hundreds of Fun Science Bets, Challenges, and Experiments You Can Do at Home" (Skyhorse Publishing, $14.95, 321 pages). Is your child a little science whiz at heart? This guidebook offers experiments such as making an egg with corners, writing with a potato and generating fireworks from grapes.

"Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids" (Ballantine Books, $25, 235). Author Kim John Payne offers advice for parents on how to hover and worry less and enjoy children more.

"Reading Together: Everything You Need to Know to Raise a Child Who Loves to Read" (Perigee, $15, 279 pages). How to find appropriate books for your children and help them connect with reading.

"The Possibility of Everything" (Ballantine Books, $25, 329 pages). Hope Edelman, author of the New York Times' bestseller "Motherless Daughters" tells her own story in this memoir.

"Seductive Delusions: How Everyday People Catch STDs" (John Hopkins University Press, $16.95, 263 pages). Dr. Jill Grimes narrates real-life stories of young people infected with DTS and exam room conversations with doctors.

"The Girl's Body Book: Everything You Need To Know For Growing up YOU" (Applesauce Press, $9.95, 115 pages). A guidebook for girls ages 8 and older.

"The Boy's Body Book: Everything You Need To Know For Growing up YOU" (Applesauce Press, $9.95, 111 pages). A guidebook for boys ages 10 and older.

"Family Fun Night!" (Cider Mill Press, $14.95, 272 pages). More than 300 ideas for entertaining nights with your children.

Here's some statistics that are hard to stomach: About one out of 25 females and one out of 80 males ages 15 to 19 years old in Sacramento County had a reported case of chlamydia or gonorrhea last year, data from the state Department of Public Health reveals.

I came across these grimace-inducing facts while reporting a story for Tuesday's Living Here section about how to talk to your teenager about sex.

When I embarked on reporting the story, I expected to unearth some data that would indicate teenagers are having sex more than parents suspect (I did). I expected an increasing teen pregnancy rate (I did). I didn't expect to find that so many were contracting sexually transmitted diseases.

Bear in mind - those are only the reported cases. How many more cases are going untreated and unreported?

And now for the really uncomfortable reality - the epidemic of STDs among teens may be due in part to public health departments not being able to control it, said Dr. Glennah Trochet, Sacramento County's public health officer.

Ordinarily, the way an STD is controlled is the case is reported to the health department and officials there contact the person and gets the infected person's partners in for testing. Then those people's partners are contacted and so on, she said.

"We just don't have the resources to do that with every single case," Trochet said. "So the comprehensive investigation just doesn't happen ... It might be that now we just have so much of a disease, you may get infected on your very first sexual experience."

Egads. So what's a parent to do?

Local and national experts agree that we need to be talking to our children, at a fairly young age, about our family values surrounding sex, our expectations of our children and safe sex.

If you're a parent of a tween or teenager, please read the story in Tuesday's paper. There are tips on how to start the conversation and what the talk might sound like.

It may just save your child from suffering some very adult consequences.

Seasonal flu shots are making an early appearance in pediatric offices this year thanks to the H1N1 virus and vaccine.

The seasonal flu vaccines are available now - which is slightly earlier than usual - because the H1N1 vaccine likely will be available as early as mid-October, said Dr. Ken Ashley, a pediatrician and medical director of Sutter Medical Group,

"We would like to separate these slightly to allow the (H1N1) vaccine to provide better protection from the virus," Ashley said in an e-mail.

Seasonal flu vaccines are recommended for children ages 6 months to 18 years old.

Doctors also recommend that children ages 6 months and older be given the H1N1 vaccine, which is a two-part vaccination given one month apart, he said.

Pregnant women, parents of children less than 6 months old and children will be among those first in line to receive the H1N1 vaccine. Other target groups include healthcare and emergency medical workers, people between 6 months and 24 years old and people between 25 and 64 who are at higher risk due to chronic health disorders or compromised immune systems, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Ashley said the H1N1 vaccine, like the seasonal flu vaccine, isn't a panacea.

"This vaccine, as with most vaccines, decreases the likelihood, although does not guarantee you will not get the virus," he said. "If you do the virus after the vaccine, it is often less severe."

For more information about the H1N1 virus and vaccine, click on the CDC's flu widget below.

An El Dorado Hills youth development organization is offering a 10-week workshop for parents interested in better managing out-of-control teenagers.

Parent Project is a nationwide training program for parents of children ages 11 to 18 years old. The Parent Advisory Council, a subcommittee of the Vision Coalition of El Dorado Hills, has adopted the training and is holding the next series of classes starting Sept. 10. The classes will be held from 6 to 9 p.m. every Thursday through Nov. 12.

The workshop is funded by a grant through the Sierra Health Foundation.

Parents will learn how to manage back-talk, school performance, truancy, alcohol and drug abuse, violence and talk of suicide, states a Vision Coalition news release.

The program was created for parents with problematic teenagers, but it's also recommended for parents who want to take a proactive approach.

Parents are given workbooks and weekly homework and asked to practice learned skills and concepts at home between sessions, the release states. Organizers recommend that both parents attend the classes, but single parents are welcome.

Cost of the workshop is $150 for 10 weeks and includes refreshments. Discounts and financial assistance may be available upon request.

The classes will be held at the White Rock Village Community Room, 2200 Valley View Parkway, El Dorado Hills.

For more information, e-mail Raeann Jones at or call her at (916) 224-1650.

Have you heard this disturbing news?

A 61-year-old man has been charged with felony cruelty to children in the first degree after allegedly slapping a stranger's crying toddler at a Georgia Wal-Mart.

CBS Atlanta reports on its Web site that the alleged incident happened Monday at the store in Stone Mountain.

Roger Stephens allegedly warned the 2-year-old girl's mother that if she didn't quiet the child, he would do it for her, according to information CBS obtained from the police report.

The child continued to cry and Stephens came up to the girl and slapped her several times in the face, the police report states.

The mother screamed and called for security and another shopper stopped Stephens. The girl suffered some redness in the face, but was not injured, CBS reports.

The story is obviously a worst-case scenario of what could happen if your child is crying or throwing a fit in a story, but it made me wonder how other parents deal with upset or misbehaving children in public. Which draws up the whole spanking, and perhaps more controversial, spanking in public, discussion.

I'm not brave enough to venture out with my kids unarmed - and by that I mean I always have juice boxes, a snack or a book or tiny toy at the ready. Yes, it seems like bribery, but it beats a tantrum any day. And I've found that distraction can sometimes be more successful than discipline.

What are your thoughts on discipline in public? Do you have any advice or tips for parents on how to deal with upset children? Post your thoughts and comments here.

It's a bittersweet ending to a gut-wrenching story - Jaycee Lee Dugard, 29, is found alive after being kidnapped near her Meyers home in 1991 when she was just 11 years old.

It's also a story that rocks parents' sense of safety and can make us fearful and guarded against anyone who may look our child's way.

While it's always a good idea to keep careful watch of our children, it's also important to bear in mind the rarity of stranger abductions.

Kidnappings by strangers are among the most highly publicized crimes and tend to deeply shake the national consciousness, but they are among the rarest of crimes against children.

Kidnapping makes up less than 2 percent of all violent crimes against juveniles reported to police, with stranger kidnapping being the most uncommon form of reported kidnappings, according to the Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention.

The department conducted a study in 2002 of non-family abducted children based on national data primarily from 1999.

Researchers found that of the 58,200 children abducted in the legal sense - meaning held against their will for a modest amount of time or moved even a short distance, often in commission of other crimes - an estimated 115 were stereotypical kidnappings. Stereotypical kidnappings were defined as abductions by strangers or slight acquaintances and involving a child transported 50 miles or more, detained overnight, held for ransom or with intent to keep the child permanently, or killed.

Of those children who were stereotypically kidnapped, 57 percent returned alive, 32 percent returned injured, 40 percent were killed and 4 percent never returned, the study reports.

Jaycee Lee Dugard, once thought to have fallen in that tiny percentage of children who never came home, thankfully will be counted among those who return alive.

Her heart-wrenching story, which includes bearing two children with her alleged captor, likely will captivate our attention for days and weeks to come, but hopefully it will also serve as a reminder to put our arms around our children and appreciate their safety.

For information on how to keep your kids safe and talk to them about their safety, check out this tip sheet from the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children. 25_ways_to_make_kids_safer.pdf

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. It also may be worth $50 and local fame.

La Petite Maison, a home and garden store in Jamestown, is holding a baby photo contest through late September to help launch its Trumpette "store within a store."

The store has been working with Sacramento-based company Trumpette, maker of the original Maryjane baby socks and other cute children's apparel and items, to design a room in the Victorian to resemble Trumpette's retail location at the Pavilions.

"They have baby photos within their displays, so we are following that same line of decor," said Karen Luckhardt, La Petite Maison's owner.

The baby photo contest was born out of Luckhardt's desire to use local babies to decorate the walls.

Twelve winners will be picked from the entries received. Winning photos will be enlarged to 19-by-19 inches and hung in the Trumpette room quarterly and used in a calendar the store is publishing. Winners also will receive a $25 gift certificate to the store. The grand prize winner will get a $50 gift certificate and that baby's photo will grace the calendar's cover, Luckhardt said.

"I think everyone that has entered so far is darling," she said.

The contest is open to children 3 years old and younger. To enter, send a photo - black and white is preferred - to La Petite Maison, 18190 Main St., Jamestown, CA 95327.

Be sure to include the child's name, parent's name and a phone number where the family can be reached. Deadline for submissions is Sept. 21.

For more information about the store, check out La Petite Maison's Web site.

Have you ever received an e-mail that gives you goosebumps? I did recently and I thought I'd pass along the good news.

In May, I wrote a story about raising musically gifted children - how to encourage practicing and bolster musical success.

The story also highlighted the musical talent and dedication of several young musicians, including Zach Giberson, a Rio Americano High School student (shown at left in a Bee photo by Randall Benton). Zach spent five weeks this summer at a jazz program at the Berklee College of Music in Boston.

Zach, who plays the guitar and saxophone, also was one of six Rio musicians honored this spring by leading jazz publication Down Beat magazine in its 32nd annual Student Music Awards.

Zach's father, Kirk Giberson, sent me an e-mail Aug. 14 that bore the following news:

"I wanted to let you know that Zach will return today from the five-week program at the Berklee College of Music to which he won a scholarship.  It was an amazing program for someone immersed in music, and he had a wonderful time.  Of note, on Wednesday night of this week, at an end-of-program "Blowout Concert" attended by thousands, Zach was awarded admission and a full tuition scholarship to attend college at Berklee in the Fall of 2010.  About 10 of the 900 participants received this scholarship.  As you might expect, Zach is thrilled, and I am still pretty numb with excitement.  I can't help but think that what he gained from events this Spring - including your story - helped him perform at the program with a confidence and freedom that helped lead to his scholarship."

I should have had Zach autograph the steno pad I used to take notes when I interviewed him - it might have helped fund my childrens' college tuition.

Speaking of encouraging musical talent, if you're interested in exposing your children to music and letting them play with musical instruments, check out the Children's Music Festival Saturday in Folsom.

The Children's Music Festival will be hosted at the Folsom Aquatic Center and will feature live music, crafts, food and an opportunity for children to try out musical instruments.

Singing workshops also will be available for 1st- through 6th-grade children through the Northern California Children's Chorus, an event news release states.

Entertainers include Tim Williams, a Roseville musician known as "The Piano Man" and Gary Bowman, a zookeeper, teacher and musician whose latest album is titled "Song of the Oceans."

Mary Youngblood, a Native American flute player and Grammy Award winner, also may perform at the festival.

The event is scheduled from 10:30 a.m. to noon Saturday at the aquatic center, 1200 Riley St., Folsom.

Cost is $6 per person, which includes a free same-day admission to the swim park beginning at 1 p.m.

The event also is sponsored by American River Montessori, Northridge Music Center and Newtone Design & Printing.

For more information, call the aquatic center at (916) 355-8319.

Kaiser Permanente South Sacramento Medical Center has been designated a Baby-Friendly birth facility.

The hospital, where about 225 babies are born each month, recently received the designation for its efforts to promote breastfeeding among mothers who deliver there. Sutter Davis Hospital and The Birth Center in Fair Oaks also are Baby-Friendly hospitals.

Kaiser South Sacramento is one of only 83 hospitals in the country to receive the prestigious title, which is part of the Baby Friendly Hospital Initiative, a program of the World Health Organization and UNICEF.

Kaiser South Sacramento had the highest exclusive breastfeeding rate, 70.9 percent, of any hospital in the county in 2007, according to state Department of Public Health data compiled by the WIC Association and UC Davis Human Lactation Center. The data is the most recent available.

Hospitals support moms who want to feed their babies formula, but traditionally, there has been little support for moms who are following the American Academy of Pediatrics' recommendations to feed babies breastmilk the first year of life, said Barb Hanson, assistant manager of health educationin charge of the hospital's lactation services.

"At South Sac, we put all the policies and procedures in place so mom can be fully supported in her decision to breastfeed," she said.

That includes immediate skin-to-skin contact between mother and baby. (shown at left: Eileen Lee, of Elk Grove, is shown spending skin-to-skin time with her daughter, Eliana Lee, who she delivered at Kaiser South Sacramento in November 2007.)

"That's what babies are really wired to do - breastfeed within that first hour of life," said Hanson, who also is a registered nurse and board certified lactation consultant. "When you're removing a baby and doing a procedure on them or passing them around the room, it really interrupts mom and baby's ability to begin that process."

Mothers who have a caesarean section can have skin-to-skin contact within 30 minutes of their baby's birth.

"For moms who weren't able to have a vaginal birth, it can already feel like a loss for them not to have birthed the way they anticipated," she said. "Breastfeeding is one of the more normalizing things that can happen."

The hospital also encourages mothers to "room in" with their babies - meaning the babies aren't whisked away to nurseries - thereby increasing the opportunities for breastfeeding.

Kaiser South Sacramento also is careful about supplementing breast milk with formula.

"Believing that just breast milk is enough for most healthy babies is also a policy of ours," Hanson said.

The hospital has lactation consultants on staff and a lactation center for moms, which offers a free walk-in clinic six days a week and a breastfeeding support center where moms can purchase breastfeeding equipment.

"It's so reassuring for our moms to have that support," Hanson said.

The Baby Friendly designation means a lot to the hospital's staff, which worked hard to complete a 10-step process including policy changes and staff training. The training was made possible through First 5 Sacramento Commission grant.

"It really sets us apart in the community and demonstrates our commitment to support moms who are choosing to breastfeed," she said.

Hanson also had advice for mothers either thinking about breastfeeding or trying to breastfeed their babies.

"I would encourage them to take a class and spend time with a friend who was successful with breastfeeding," she said. "Woman to woman support is the No. 1 thing moms say helped them be successful."

If more help is needed, look for an international board certified lactation consultant (IBCLC) or contact a local La Leche League.

Fathers can also help mothers succeed with breastfeeding - all it takes is a little encouragement. Provide positive messages about breastfeeding and let the mother know that she is supported.

Taking care of the mother is key to the family's health.

 "Studies have shown that it's important to mother the mother," Hanson said. "When we take care of our moms, they are better mothers."

For more information about Kaiser South Sacramento's maternity services, go the hospital's Web site.

Did you choose to breastfeed your child? Were there enough lactation resources at the hospital where you delivered? Post a comment here.

Looking for a breastfeeding guidebook? I just received a copy of "Great Expectations: The Essential Guide to Breastfeeding" (Sterling, $14.95, 312 pages) by Dr. Marianne Neifert, a.k.a. Dr. Mom. The new book offers tips on pumping, storing and feeding expressed milk, strategies for working moms, guidelines on weaning and other advice. The book is free to a local mom who wants to read it and write a little review, which may be published on this blog. E-mail me if you are interested. First come, first served.

Are you interested in losing weight gained during pregnancy, raising a child with an adventurous palate or child-rearing the natural way? I may have just the book for you.

The books are starting to pile up again dear readers, and I need your help with reviewing them.

I have a sizable stack of parenting, children's and crafting books up for grabs. Please e-mail me if you're local and interested in reviewing them. Be sure to include your name, city of residence and childrens' ages.

Here are the parenting titles:

"Super Fit Mama: Stay Fit During Pregnancy and Get Your Body Back after Baby" (Lifelong Books, $17.95, 321 pages). Workouts for moms looking to get in shape and back to pre-baby weight, expert advice, meal plans and recipes from fitness expert Tracey Mallett.

"My Two-year-old Eats Octopus: Raising Children Who Love to Eat Everything" (Bull Publishing Company, $16.95, 328 pages). Author Nancy Tringali Piho gives nutrition advice through experience and couples it with research from chefs and food and health professionals.

"Happy Baby: The Organic Guide to Baby's First 24 Months" (Harper, $16.99, 397 pages). Dr. Robert W. Sears and Amy Marlow offer parents a how-to guidebook on child-rearing that's more ecologically friendly for both the baby and the environment. Includes tips for mom on what to eat while nursing, making nurseries more "green," and helping children develop healthier eating habits.

Books from the crafting front:

"Wrapagami" (St. Martin's Griffin, $19.99, 128 pages). You never have to give a dull-looking gift again. Author Jennifer Playford shows how a piece of fabric can turn a gift into a treasure to behold.

"Crafternoon: A Guide to Getting Artsy and Crafty with Your Friends All Year Long" (Simon Spotlight Entertainment, $16,95, 226 pages). A how-to book on creating and hosting casual gatherings that celebrate the art of crafting.

Children's books available for review:

"First Day of School" (HarperFestival, $6.99). Mercer Mayer writes about Little Critter getting ready for the first day. This book would be great to help someone with a child heading to kindergarten in coming days or weeks.

"Build Your Own Paper Robots" (St. Martin's Griffin, $18.95, 96). This craft book comes complete with a CD so kids can download, color, print and build robots. Note: The robot models look pretty complicated, so this is likely not something for a child under 10 years old.

California Highway Patrol car antennas are bedecked in purple ribbons this month in an effort to raise awareness of the dangers of leaving children unattended in hot cars.

August has been designated "Purple Ribbon Month" by 4 R Kids Sake, a national nonprofit organization dedicated to preventing childhood death in and around vehicles.

Sizzling summer days can quickly escalate the temperature inside a vehicle, creating a deadly environment for a child, the CHP reports in a news release.

According to the National Highway Transportation Safety Administration, hyperthermia - also known as heat stroke - was the leading cause of non-crash vehicle deaths in children in 2007. The administration also found that about 27 kids in the U.S. die due to hyperthermia or excessive heat while in a car each year, the release states.

Leaving a child alone in a vehicle is illegal in California and an infraction punishable by a fine of $100.

Anyone who sees a child unattended in a car is asked to call 911 immediately, the CHP reports.

For more information about symptoms of heat stroke in children or the state law about leaving kids unattended in cars, click here to check out a recent story on this blog.

Do your children's tantrums leave you begging for mercy?

Have no fear - Supernanny Jo Frost may soon be here to help.

The casting team of ABC's popular parenting show "Supernanny" will be interviewing families from 12 to 5 p.m. Aug. 23 in Roseville.

The casting call is being held at Pump It Up, an indoor inflatable party destination located at 10556 Industrial Ave., Suite 100, Roseville.

Children can jump, slide and bounce for free during the casting call while parents meet with the casting producers, Ann Giammona, Pump It Up's owner, wrote in an e-mail.

The Supernanny team is looking for at least five families to finish up the show's fifth season.

The show is looking for families of all types who need help from Supernanny Frost, who is a "behavioral expert," said Tiffany Dejillo, a Supernanny casting producer.

"Many times, it's not just the children who need the help - it's the parents," she said in a phone interview from her Los Angeles office. "It's the family dynamic in general. We examine the family and address the issues in order to bring them to a more peaceful place."

The shoot dates have not yet been determined, but could be as early as late September. The show is typically shot over 10 to 14 days at the participating family's home, Dejillo said.

That doesn't mean the camera crew and Frost spend the entire time there, however.

The show's format - which includes initial time with the family, working with parents and following up - lends itself well to allowing for private family time, Dejillo said.

"Are they in the kitchen for 24 hours a day? No," she said.

The Johnson family of Yuba City were Wiggles fans before, but that affection grew even more after the preschool rock band's latest CD helped entertain the family of five as they traveled during their summer vacation.

Ryan Johnson nabbed the free Wiggles CD I had offered on this blog recently and tested it out along with his wife and three children, ages 9, 3 and 5 months.

The CD, "The Wiggles Go Bananas" (Koch Records, $11.98) is the newest released by the Australian group. The songs revolve around an animal theme and include the song "Monkey Man," featuring Australian pop icon Kylie Minogue.

Here's Ryan Johnson's review:

When we received the new Wiggles CD in the mail, it was all my 3-year-old son could talk about. When I popped it in the CD player for him to listen to, he was laughing and singing along with the first song, "Monkey Man." Then he lost interest and went to go play in his room.

I thought at first that he didn't enjoy the new CD as much as (the Wiggles) older releases. Boy was I wrong! The next week, my family and I went on vacation. Something every family looks forward to - four hours in the car with a 9-year-old girl, a 3-year-old boy and a 5-month old boy. My wife, at the last minute, grabbed the new Wiggles CD to take in the car. More than eight hours later round trip, we can all sing along to the new Wiggles CD - well, maybe not our 5-month-old.

Once my son was not distracted by his other toys, the CD quickly became his new favorite. He enjoys singing along with it so much we had to buy the DVD with all the music videos. His favorite songs on the CD are "The Chicken Walk," "Cock-a-doodle-doo," and "I'm a Scary Tiger."

I would recommend this CD and the DVD to any family who has a child that likes the Wiggles. The music is what you expect out of the Wiggles and all the characters are on the CD.

Have you found entertaining ways to amuse your family while on long car rides? Share your tips and tricks here.

Need some summer reading? Looking for a parenting book? I may be able to help.

I need local parents, guardians or grandparents to take some parenting-type books for a spin and let me know what they think.

Here is a list of books currently piled on my desk:

"How Not to Act Old: 185 Ways to Pass for Phat, Sick, Hot, Dope, Awesome, or at Least Not Totally Lame" (Harper, $14.99, 171 pages) - The book, by Pamela Remond Satran, is a humerous guidebook for how not to act ancient.

"You're Teaching My Child What?: A Physician Exposes the Lies of Sex Education and How They Harm Your Child" (Regnery Publishing Inc., $24.95, 246 pages) - Dr. Miriam Grossman writes about the nation's sex ed programs and facts about sex kids aren't taught in schools.

"The Curse of the Good Girl: Raising Authentic Girls with Courage and Confidence" (The Penguin Press, $25.95, 278 pages) - Author Rachel Simmons offers strategies on topics such as sexting, emotional intelligence and criticism.

"A Parent's Guide to the Middle School Years" (Celestial Arts, $14.95, 170 pages) - Author Joe Bruzzese gives parents advice on everything from cyberbullying to depression.

"How to Raise a Drug-Free Kid: The Straight Dope for Parents" (Fireside, $15, 295 pages) - The book is based on nearly 20 years of research at The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University and is written by Joseph A. Califano, Jr., the center's founder.

If you're interested in reading one of the books and writing a short review, send me an e-mail with your name, city of residence, children's ages and which book you're interested in reading. First come, first served.

Your review may be included in a post on this blog.

The school year is fast approaching and for some young children, fears may be increasing as well.

First 5 Yolo recently released some tips for parents on how to make the first day of school less daunting for young students.

Here's what their experts recommend:

Get ready - Research shows that kids who eat a healthy breakfast do better in school and tend to be more focused and physically active, the release states. A good night's sleep also is important, so stick to consistent bedtimes.

Ensure that immunizations are up-to-date and that your child has had a dental exam. Tell teachers and administrators about any allergies, chronic medical conditions or special needs.

Get set - Explain what their schedule might include, where they'll be going, school activities and how long they'll be at school each day. Talk about what it's like to ride the bus, if applicable. Ask your child questions to help uncover fears and don't be dismissive of fears they may have. Listen and try to anticipate what they're thinking.

Play school at home and have your child take turns playing student and teacher. Play games that require sharing and speaking in front of a group. Read books about starting school and have them participate in activities such as painting and drawing, which require sitting for short periods of time.

Go - Take your child to the school ahead of time and meet their teacher. Have your child help choose school clothes and supplies. Glue a picture of your family inside their lunch box, or include little notes for them to read. Anxiety over going to school often is a result of fear regarding strangers, the release states.

For more information, go to First 5 Yolo's Web site.

It's that wonderful time of year when the warmth of summer beckons and outdoor family time is a must.

I'm taking a week's vacation starting Aug. 8, spending time first in Lake Tahoe, then on to the California Academy of Sciences in San Francisco where we'll take our little ones to explore the Steinhart Aquarium and other exhibits.

There will be fewer posts here on the blog this week - just one a day most days - but topics will include things like how to ease a young child's fear of starting school and why teenagers and energy drinks don't mix.

See you August 17.

It's Breastfeeding Awareness Month in California and there are several nursing awareness events planned in the Sacramento region.

Thousands of mother and babies are expected to participate in the Third Annual Breastfeeding Walk statewide Aug. 13, including one at the state Capitol and in Yolo County. (Left: About 100 people participated in the walk in 2007. Photo by The Bee's Ann Chadwick Williams).

The walk at the Capitol will be held from noon to 1 p.m on the south lawn. Four companies will honored with statewide Mother Baby Friendly Workplace Awards and six local employers also will receive awards from the Breastfeeding Coalition of Greater Sacramento.

In Yolo County, mothers, babies and healthcare providers will walk at 10 a.m. Aug. 13 near the county's health department, located on North Cottonwood Street in Woodland.

The walks are meant to highlight the need for breastfeeding mothers to have support at home, in the community and at work, a Yolo County news release states.

California law stipulates that mothers can breastfeed children in any location, public or private, and that every employer, including the state, is required to provide a reasonable amount of break time to accommodate employees needing to express breast milk for their infant.

For more on California law and breastfeeding, go to the California Department of Public Health's Web site.

For more about breastfeeding walk events and breastfeeding resources, go to the California Breastfeeding Coalition's Web site.

Parents are increasingly ditching disposable training pants in an effort to save money.

The Associated Press' Betsy Vereckey reported recently that foregoing training pants is a trend that's saving parents up to $100 a month and sometimes resulting in quicker toilet training.

Sales of disposable training pants throughout the industry fell to $731.2 million, down 3.2 percent, for the 52 weeks ending June 13, Vereckey reported.

To read her report, click here.

Have you decided to forego disposable training pants in an effort to save money? Are you a disposable training pants devotee and not willing to risk your carpet and couch to messy mistakes? Post your toilet training tips, ideas or woes here or e-mail me. Your suggestions or advice could be featured on my blog in a future post.

Fathers are typically underserved in a majority of programs for low-income families with young children, but getting fathers more involved in parenting leads to physically and emotionally healthier children, a new study has found.

The Supporting Father Involvement study, funded by the California Department of Social Services' Office of Child Abuse Prevention, was conducted through several family resources organizations throughout the state. The randomized, controlled clinical trial began in 2003, and the final stage will conclude in 2012.

The study examined what happens when agencies encourage dads to get more involved in parenting after a child is born. The study also looked at the results of agencies with programs aimed at helping fathers foster positive relationship and parenting styles, the executive summary states.

Programs serving families with young children, especially low-income families, typically focus primarily on mothers.

One of the key findings researchers discovered was that children of father who went through the program alone or alongside their wives were "less aggressive, hyperactive, depressed or socially withdrawn," the document states.

Researchers also found that parenting stress decreased when fathers and mothers participated in the groups together and behavioral and psychological involvement of dads increased when they were given tools to be more effective parents either alone or with their wives.

Rick Millhollin, 41, of Yuba City, was one of several fathers to participate in the study through the ABC Family Resource Centers, which has locations in Olivehurst and Linda.

The father of five and his wife, Bobette, had taken parenting classes before through the Salvation Army's substance abuse rehabilitation program, but enjoyed and learned from the community approach of the Supporting Father Involvement group.

"It wasn't so much a commanded directive of parenting, with someone telling us what we should do," Millhollin said. "It was awesome."

Millhollin said one of the things he learned was to discipline his children through taking things away, instead of his former "spare the rod, spoil the child" approach.

Roy Martin, executive director of Gracesource Inc., the nonprofit organization which runs the ABC Family Resource Centers, said the holistic curriculum didn't point out that the father wasn't doing a good job. Instead, it asked the dads to think about their daily routines, their roles and their involvement with their children in a group setting that fostered lively discussions.

"What makes this approach so good is that it was inclusive from the beginning," Martin said. "It didn't take a punitive approach and it wasn't just a bag of tricks, it really was a system change."

The results have forever altered the attitude and approach of the organization, he said.

Social workers now actively interact with the fathers and try to engage them in conversation. The decorations of the two resource centers have been altered to be more inviting to dads. Fathers are even calling the centers to ask for services now, he said.

"It's changed the way we do business," he said. "We couldn't go back."

To read the study, click the link below.
Father_Engagement_Study_.pdf

The school year is drawing near and for many mothers that also means the start of keeping an entire family organized.

Sure you can use an iPhone to digitally organize your life (heck, there's probably an app for that), but for the rest of us, a day planner or calendar remains the go-to method.

There's another option, however.

Say hello to momAgenda, a company that offers a collection of organizational tools and stationary to help moms find order in the sometimes frenetic pace of parenthood.

One of the most popular products in the line is the momAgenda Desktop, a planner that offers a 17-month calendar (the calendar for the 2009-2010 version begins in August and runs through December 2010) in week-at-a-glance format.

The company sent The Bee one a momAgenda Desktop planner, along with a separate chore list and babysitter notes tablet.

We passed it to Leigh Anne Burford-Petersen, 41, a work-at-home mother of three boys, ages 2, 6 and 8, who also homeschools her sons.

Burford-Petersen, of Placer County, said the planner has many good features, and for some moms could provide "a stylish, fun way to keep a busy life organized," but she likely will stay with her current planner.

"The one drawback of the momAgenda planner is that it does not permit me to tailor the planner to my needs," Burford-Petersen wrote in her e-mailed review. "For example, I need less party planning and more meal planning."

Here are other highlights from Burford-Petersen's review:

• The look - Burford-Petersen was immediately struck by the planner's aesthetic quality. "Rather than my dour, utilitarian black planner, the momAgenda planner comes in a cheerful shade of light green," she said.
  

• The layout - The planner is well-organized for the most part. The calendar begins with a month-at-a-glance section, followed by a week-at-a-glance section. Burford-Petersen really liked the layout of the latter. The top half of every two pages provides a typical week layout. The bottom half of those pages, however, is a grid of boxes for recording what up to four children are doing each day of the week. A blank is provided to plan dinner for each night of the week. "I need to plan three meals a day for a week and create a grocery list, so that last feature is lacking," she said.
  

• The extra features - The planner devotes one page each to books, movies, music, fashion, restaurants, wines, health and fitness, two pages each to gift records and entertaining resources, six pages to parties and eight pages to vacation planning. "Truthfully, this section of the planner confuses me ... six pages for parties and eight pages for vacation planning could only be useful to me in my wildest fantasies. At the same time, one page each to record my nutrition and exercise plans is rather useless," Burford-Petersen said.
  

• The momEssentials pamphlet - The detachable address book at the back is well-designed for mothers. It can be moved to the next year's edition of the planner, making transfer of the information very easy... "It keeps the information a mother may need in a hurry at her fingertips."

• The chore list - "I think I like the chore list, in part, because I would like to think that my children would be this dutiful and somehow the very organized chart gives me hope," she said. Furford-Petersen also added that as a homeschooling mother, she could also use the chore chart to help the children record their weekly progress through their subjects.

• The babysitter notes - The pre-printed form ensures that a busy parent does not forget to give pertinent information to the sitter.

Nina Restieri, who was using a doctor's scheduling pad to keep track of her family's activities before founding momAgenda, said the company's products are better than other day planners because they are centered around a mothers' organizational needs.

"The biggest difference is that we offer everything in one place, providing moms with the piece of mind that all aspects of their personal puzzle - family, career, home and social life - come together," she wrote in an e-mail.

The collection of momAgenda planners and tools are available online and in retail stores.

Child-proofing a home is a necessity for anyone with an infant or toddler in the house, but just how many safety precautions does a parent need to take?

As many as possible.

"There's only one area in which children have a mental deficiency and that's their sense of self-preservation," said Dr. Anatoly Belilovsky, a New York pediatrician and child-safety expert who I interviewed recently for a story about summer safety issues.

Belilovsky's recommendation for parents looking to remove household hazards is simple, yet clever: watch the first four minutes of the 1988 movie "Who Framed Roger Rabbit."

"They did a good job of hitting household hazards," he said of the opening scene, in which Roger is attempting to babysit Baby Herman. "Watch very carefully with an eye to all the hazards the baby sees - it's a really good primer for household safety."

Baby Herman starts off in a playpen but quickly escapes, using drawers to climb atop the kitchen counter, inadvertently turning on stove burners with his foot and falling face down in a sink full of water and dishes in his quest to reach the cookie jar.

To watch for yourself, go to this You Tube clip.

There are also loads of kid safety products on the market.

One of the handiest kid-proofing items came to The Bee from Australian-based Dream Baby, a child safety product company.

It's a simple cable combination lock intended to help keep children out of cabinets and sells for $9.99.

We discovered another great use for the device: It also locks side-by-side refrigerator doors, thus helping keep kids safe from ingesting spicy condiments or pulling glass jars off shelves.

For more information, go to Dream Baby's Web site.

The best piece of child-proofing equipment, however, is an attentive parent and common sense, Belilovsky said.

"There is no substitute for thinking," he said.

Sacramento Food Bank and Family Services is hosting a free barbecue and information fair for families Saturday.

More than 500 people are expected to attend the third annual Fun in the Sun Fair, which will be held from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. at the Saca Community Learning Center, 2469 Rio Linda Blvd., Sacramento, a food bank news release states.

The event includes a free barbecue lunch, snacks, prizes, face painting, games, exercise class demonstrations, multicultural dancing and a bounce house.

Dozens of community agencies, including the Child Abuse Prevention Council, Meals on Wheels and the Greater Sacramento Urban League, will provide free information for families, the release states.

The event is open to all families.

Tough economic times doesn't have to translate to summer months devoid of fun activities.

State Superintendent of Public Instruction Jack O'Connell recently released some tips for parents on inexpensive ways to keep kids active and learning during the summer months.

"When children are inactive mentally and physically during the summer, they often have to take time to get back up to speed in the fall," O'Connell stated in a news release from the state Department of Education. "This wastes students' valuable learning time and schools' scarce resources."

Here are some of O'Connell's recommendations:

• Step away from the TV and computer and get outside - Get a game of volleyball going with neighbors or dust off water toys like Slip 'N Slides. Benefits include physical activity, which help stave off childhood obesity, and lessons in teamwork.

• Read, read, read - Read the newspaper with your kids or go to the library. "Reading keeps children's minds active and engaged and ready to learn when they go back to school," the release states. For ideas on age-appropriate literature, go to the state Department of Education's online database.

• Encourage self-employed kids - Are your children clamoring for extra cash? Make them earn it by mowing lawns or pet sitting for neighbors on vacation. Local chapters of the American Red Cross even offer lessons on babysitting for 11- to 15-year-olds. The lesson involved here is responsibility and financial literacy, the release states.

• Cook with your kids - Let your kids help make a meal. Teach them how to measure and how ingredients interact, which will bolster math and chemistry skills.

For more of O'Connell's tips, go to the state Department of Education's Web site.

What are some cheap, fun things that you do in the summer with your kids? Post your ideas here.

Want more ideas on how to avoid summer brain drain? Check out an earlier story I did for The Bee's Family section. 

The company behind a popular line of infant products has initiated a nationwide recall of its gel-filled teethers.

Luv n' care of Monroe, La. launched the recall of its "Nuby," "Cottontails" and "Playschool" teething devices Friday because the liquid inside was found to contain Bacillus subtilis and Bacillus circulans bacteria, according to a U.S. Food and Drug Administration news release.

The bacteria doesn't generally cause illness in adults, but can cause stomach pain, vomiting and diarrhea in infants and children with weakened immune systems, the releases states. The FDA found the bacteria in samples of gel from two lots collected by government researchers.

No illnesses have yet been reported.

The company has stopped producing and distributing the products, which were available in stores and online, and is notifying distributors to return the products. Consumers are asked to return products to the place of purchase for a full refund, the release states.

The recall includes the following products bearing these UPC codes:

Nuby: 48526-00451, 48526-00452, 48526-00453, 48526-00454, 48526-00455, 48526-00459, 48526-00467, 48526-00472, 48526-00473, 48526-00482, 48526-00483, 48526-00487, 48526-00490, 48526-00519, 48526-00521.

Cottontails: 41520-87115, 41520-91660.

Playschool: 50428-91511.

Consumers with questions are asked to call the company from 6 a.m. to 3 p.m. at (800) 256-2399 extension 3106.

To report adverse reactions with these products, go to the FDA's online MedWatch Adverse Event Reporting Program.

In a quaint Victorian nestled in midtown Sacramento, creativity and social change have found a welcoming home - and they're looking for families to come visit.

Art Beast Children's Studio, which opened July 2, is a drop-in art studio and play center geared toward children ages 7 and under.

The studio was born out of the desire to provide a safe, reasonably-priced place for children to experience fun, imaginative play and help raise money for a local charity.

Proceeds from the studio help fund Tubman House, a transitional living program for young, homeless families.

"With the economy the way it is, we could see ourselves becoming the next sad story," said Bridget Alexander, co-founding director of Art Beast. Alexander and Blithe Raines also run Waking the Village, the nonprofit organization that oversees Tubman House and Art Beast.

So the two women got to work transforming the four-story Victorian at 2226 K Street into a children's imagination wonderland, complete with an open art studio, six play spaces and a classroom. The hope is to secure at least a 20 percent profit to donate to Tubman House.

The open studio offers kids an opportunity to create works of art using a variety of mediums and tools. It affords parents a chance to relax, given that the painting is occurring in a setting where smearing purple paint on a table is fine, if not expected.

I took my kids to Art Beast one day last week to test it out and wound up spending nearly three hours there without realizing how much time had passed. Here's a testament to how much fun we had: there was not one request for snacks or juice the entire time (which honestly, I hadn't packed since I didn't think we'd be there that long). Next time, I'll come prepared and we'll have an even longer adventure.

My 2-year-old son and 1-year-old daughter (Elle is pictured at right) loved smearing paint on the plexiglass wall and using foam brushes to splotch orange and green paint on construction paper.

The highlight of the painting, however, came at the expense of my face and shirt, which got sprayed with yellow paint while I was trying to pump the paint into a little palate. Note to parents: You will want to dress everyone heading to Art Beast in play clothes, but the paint does wash out with a little stain remover, trust me.

The courtyard of Art Beast also is a treasure trove of exploration. Sand begs to be poured and pushed through little fingers. Mountains of tiny pebbles can be sifted and washed.

A hit with many of the kids, including mine, that day were mounted pots, muffin tins and other metal objects, which children could bang or tap with sticks for their music-making merriment (my son Lex, pictured at left, said he was "playing Mama a song").

Nicola Miller, of Sacramento, learned about Art Beast through Facebook and brought her son Lane, 3, and daughter Tillie, 9 months, to the studio Monday to explore.

"I think it's fabulous," Miller said. "I'd definitely come back."

While families can pay the drop-in admission of $8 per person (children under 1 years old are free), open studio memberships are available for $60 per month for one child and adult. Family passes are $90 per month.

Monthly membership packages that include weekly art classes start at $90.

For more information, visit Art Beast's Web site.

Breaking news on the toy front: one little trip to an unlikely store can yield a bounty of wooden train tracks at a bargain price.

Ikea, college dorm room outfitter and inexpensive furniture retailer extraordinaire, offers a range of cute, cheap kids furniture, accessories and toys, including wooden train tracks that sync with beloved Thomas & Friends wood tracks and trains.

The best part is the Ikea tracks are a fraction of the cost of the Thomas variety. The "Lillabo" 12-piece train set with bridge pieces and a tunnel cost $9.99. A package of additional tracks is just $6.99 and a pack of three trains is $3.99, according to Ikea's Web site.

While the Thomas sets are undoubtedly cool, the steep costs can cause heart palpitations in many parents (including this one). Here's an example: a Thomas & Friends "Thomas and Percy" Starter Set is listed at $29.99 on Toys R Us' Web site.

It includes Thomas, Percy, the Sodor Line Caboose and 10 pieces of track.

I bought two sets of the Ikea tracks for my son, who loves playing "train tracks" with the Thomas sets at Grandma's house. He hasn't stopped playing with the Ikea set since.

They fit perfectly with the few wood Thomas tracks and trains we have and he gets a kick out of building elevated railways and hills with the special block lifts that accompanied the Ikea set (writer's note: the set I purchased at the West Sacramento Ikea came with wood blocks to serve as lifts and a handful of trains for $14.99, but the store's Web site doesn't currently show that set for sale).

Have you ever stumbled upon a similar deal on toys and want to share your findings? Post your tips and tricks in the comments section below.

Calling all parents:I need your input for a story I'm doing on how to talk to teens honestly about sex.

Did you tell your kids the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth? Did you spare them the grisly details? Whatever your methodology, I'd like to hear how you approached the conversation.If your teen would be willing to share how the chat impacted them, all the better.

Please e-mail me your contact information. I look forward to hearing from you.

Tickets go on sale today for Maria Shriver's annual Women's Conference, which this year will feature speakers ranging from former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright to reality TV megamom Kate Gosselin.

Gosselin, of TLC's "Jon & Kate Plus 8" fame, signed on for the conference months before her split from husband Jon Gosselin, the Associated Press reports.

The mother of twin girls and sextuplets will hold a 15-minute chat at a fair where she will be selling her latest book, according to AP.

In what likely will be an interesting, and heartbreaking, discussion, Shriver will host a panel on grief featuring three famous mothers who have lost teenage sons: actress Kelly Preston; Elizabeth Edwards, the wife of former presidential candidate John Edwards; and actress Susan Saint James.

Here's what AP's Samantha Young reports:

Preston has agreed to be interviewed for the first time about the death of her 16-year-old son with husband John Travolta. Both actors have kept low profiles since Jett Travolta died following a seizure in January.

Shriver said she will interview Preston as part of a panel on grief, along with Elizabeth Edwards and actress Susan Saint James, whose teenage sons were killed in accidents. The panel will be the only session not broadcast on the Internet.

"All three of them lost sons. All are at different stages of the grief," Shriver said.

To read the entire story, click here.

Shriver's conference will be Oct. 26-27 in Long Beach. Tickets cost $125 to $200 and are being sold on the conference's Web site. Much of the conference also will be streamed online.

For an earlier blog post about Gosselin's split from her husband, click here.

Fifty low-income pregnant women will receive much-needed baby gifts and supplies at a community baby shower Saturday hosted by two local organizations.

The mothers were selected for the shower by area non-profit agencies. Sacramento Food Bank & Family Services and Switch Community Outreach Association are hosting the event, which will include food, games, gifts and raffles, a food bank news release states.

The baby shower also will provide information about health and dental care, breastfeeding, immunizations and child development.

The event is intended to provide the mothers with much-needed baby items and help "minimize the risk of child abuse and neglect through education," the release states.

The baby shower will be held from noon to 3 p.m. Saturday at the food bank's Saca Community Learning Center, 2469 Rio Linda Blvd., Sacramento.

While the slots for the baby shower have been filled, expectant moms or new parents who need free services can contact the food bank's Mother-Baby program at (916) 456-1980.

For more information about donating gently-used children's items, go to the food bank's Web site.

Here's a crafty activity to do with your children that's fun, will save you money and make other moms think "How does she find the time?"

Making your own play clay is ridiculously easy and yields fantastic, non-toxic clay that lasts for weeks or longer.

I've switched between recipes over the past few years, but the one I seem to use the most is from Paula Deen's "Paula Deen's My First Cookbook," (Simon & Schuster, 21.99, 176 pages). The cookbook is adorable and has food and craft recipes intended to inspire children in the kitchen.

Deen has found success with my son, who loves making the play clay with me and has been caught on numerous occasions lying tummy-down on the floor, flipping through Deen's cookbook and talking about "my recipes."

This is an extremely fun activity, but be prepared - the results are so great, you just might become the go-to play clay gal among your friends and kids' teachers.

Paula Deen's play clay
Prep time: 2 minutes
Cook time: 3 to 5 minutes
Serves: Makes about 2 cups
Notes: Using more than a few drops of food coloring is fine and usually imparts a stronger color. For brighter colors, try neon food coloring.

Ingredients
1 cup flour
1/4 cup salt
2 tablespoons cream of tartar
1 cup water
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
2 to 3 drops food coloring

Instructions
Stir flour, salt and cream of tartar in a pot. In a separate bowl, stir water, oil and food coloring. Add wet mixture to the dry mixture in the pot and turn the heat on medium, stirring together the ingredients until incorporated. Cook for about 3 to 5 minutes, stirring it. Once it starts to glob together, you're almost done. Stir until the goo clumps together and becomes a play clay consistency. Pour onto the counter and let cool for about 10 minutes. Knead the dough until it's workable and store in a plastic bag or container.

Want to kick off the school year with $5,000?

Office Depot and Sharpie are holding a contest to find the nation's best backpack art design and are offering $5,000 to the grand prize winner.

The winning backpack design will be reproduced and sold in Office Depot stores during the 2010 back-to-school season. There's also cash for runners up. The first place prize is $3,000, and second place is $2,000, an Office Depot news release states.

Participants can purchase one of four canvas backpacks for $14.99 - which come in blue, pink, olive or khaki and include two free Sharpie markers - decorate it, take a photo of it and upload the photo to the contest's Web site.

Participants also may enter by downloading the Sharpie backpack template, decorating it and uploading the design, the contest Web site states.

Entries must be received by 11:59 p.m. central time Sept. 19. The top finalists' entries will be posted online on the Web site and the country will vote on the winner.

For more information, go the contest Web site.

Office Depot sent The Bee a pink canvas backpack, along with two Sharpie markers, to try out.

If you're local and interested in designing the backpack, e-mail me. The first person to send me their information can have it, provided they send The Bee a digital picture of the final product that we can post on this blog.

Please include your name, age, kids' ages (if any), city of residence and phone number in your e-mail.

Heading to Disneyland and fearing long wait lines? There's an app for that.

Meet "Wait Watchers," a new sanity-saving App available in the Apple iPhone App Store that allows iPhone users to view and update wait times of attractions at Disney and Universal Studios theme parks in California and Florida.

Brent Pope, the app's creator and a father of four, came up with the idea after getting laid off from his advertising job.

"They say necessity is the mother of recession," he said during a phone interview from a reconnessance mission at the Magic Kingdom in Orlando, Fla. "In my case, I think recession is the mother of invention."

Here's how it works: iPhone users purchase the app for $1 per Disney or Universal park. Once it loads, an alphabetical list of attractions at that park appear, along with user-uploaded wait times, a timestamp of when the wait time was updated and the area location of the attraction.

I convinced a coworker to purchase it Monday and tried it out here in the office.

At 11:45 a.m., the wait time for Pirates of the Caribbean was just 5 minutes, while the wait time for the Finding Nemo Submarine Voyage was 35 minutes. Had I been at the park, I would have dumped plans to explore the coral reef in Davy Jones' locker and made a break for New Orleans Square.

Uploading a wait time takes "about 8 seconds" Pope said, and the app has a built-in GPS feature intended to prevent people from erroneously entering wait times when not at the theme park.

Pope, who just launched the Disneyland app in late June, said he is working on adding other features to the app, such as an additional screen that would count down the time to a certain parade or show. He also is toying with the idea of expanding the app to other smartphones.

"If you hate waiting in line, this is a great app for you," he said. "If helps you decide what to do next and helps you make a more informed decision."

If it helps thwart kiddie meltdowns on Main Street and preserve parental peace-of-mind, Pope just might earn himself a new job title: Prince Charming.

What's the longest wait time you've experienced for a ride at a theme park? Was the ride worth it? Post your memories (fond or not) here.

The best birthdays are the ones you get to celebrate several times. Esquire Imax Theatre is doing just that this week with celebrations today and Saturday.

The theatre's 10th anniversary is Wednesday, but officials will commemorate the occasion at 11 a.m. today with Sacramento Mayor Kevin Johnson and other community leaders, who will welcome 400 children from the city's Fourth R youth programs to a free film, theatre officials announced in news release.

The theatre's anniversary bash continues Saturday with eight free screenings of "Wild California!"

The first show begins at 10 a.m., with subsequent screenings every hour on the hour until 5 p.m., theatre officials announced in a news release.

The theatre holds 400 seats and tickets will be available on a first-come basis.

The event also is part of Downtown Sacramento Partnership's Kid's Week, a host of family-friendly activities and events that runs July 11 through 18 (check back here Friday morning for details).

To learn more about Esquire Imax Theatre or the film "Wild California!" go to the theater's Web site.

Remember what that first pregnancy was like? The excitement, the anticipation, the fear?

Though her oldest daughter is 9, the memories are still vivid for cartoonist Terri Libenson, who has funneled some of her experiences - coupled with creative license of course - into a five-week series flashback for her comic strip "The Pajama Diaries."

The series, which launches today in the comic strip (you can find the strip in The Bee's Fun & Games section), chronicles protagonist Jill Kaplan's first pregnancy, from the sonogram to the delivery room.

I recently interviewed Libenson, who has two daughters, about the series from her home in Cleveland, Ohio. Here is some of our conversation.

Q: Why did you decide to do a flashback now?

A: It wasn't something that I consciously decided. It was sparked by a strip that I did for Mother's Day, (which) involved a flashback in the delivery room. Because the strip is in a diary format, it allows going forward and back ... Why not just spice things up a little?

Q: What kind of trials will Jill be remembering?

A: It's really an overview of when she first realizes she gets pregnant with her first child to the first delivery - nothing too specific or traumatic, but there is the idea of her kind of having reservations about her job situation and how that's going to change and just about being a good mom. It something that a lot of women face nowadays.

Q: Is some of this inspired by your life?

A: To an extent, but some of it is creative license. When I was pregnant, it was a little different situation. But I was playing with the idea of working part-time. I worked full-time for American Greetings back then. Right now, I work for them one day a week.

Q: How do you balance children and work?

A: It's gotten easier. It was pretty difficult when I first started the comic strip because I was balancing that job, which was so new to me at the time, with the American Greetings job. The kids were much smaller. My youngest was 2 or 3 years old. I didn't get much sleep ... I'm working long hours but it's not as bad as when the strip first launched.

Q: Any advice for working moms?

A: Personally, I think just taking things one step at a time is a good idea. It's hard for me to say that because I tend to want to do 20 things at once.

Q: Can you give us a peek at what we might see Jill go through during the series?

A: Jill finds out that two of her best friends get pregnant at the exact same time. One strip that kind of stands out in my mind that I think is kinda funny is when Jill and her friends are out shopping for breast pumps.

What was your first pregnancy like? Post a comment here.

Do you remember how you told friends and family you were pregnant? Read my blog post on sharing the big news with loved ones.

Wondering where all the hours in your day go?

Apparently work, household chores, leisure activities and child-rearing account for most of them, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics' American Time Use Survey.

The results from the 2008 survey indicate that working takes up a good chunk of an employed person's day, with people working an average of 7.6 hours per day.

Men work slightly longer days than do women who work - 52 minutes longer to be exact, the survey reports.

When it comes to time at home, 83 percent of women and 64 percent of men spent time doing household activities, such as housework, cooking or lawn care, on an average day.

Women outpaced men in the number of hours they spent doing such household activities on those days, spending 2.6 hours on cleaning and the like, versus men spending two hours on household activities.

The survey also found that on an average day, nearly everyone 15 and older engaged in some kind of leisure activity, such as watching television, socializing or exercising, the survey reports. Men spent 5.7 hours in these activities, while women spent 5.1 hours on leisure activities.

Caring for children also accounts for a good chunk of our day.

Adults living in homes with children under 6 years old spend an average of two hours each day providing primary childcare, which is defined as physical care of children or reading or talking with children.

Adults in households with children between 6 and 17 years old spend about 47 minutes per day providing primary childcare, the survey found.

But wait, there's more when it comes to kids.

If you live in a household with kids under 13 years old and at least one child is under 6 years old, you spend an average of 5.6 hours per day providing secondary childcare. In other words, there was at least one child in their care while doing activities other than primary childcare. This means secondary childcare was provided while doing leisure activities or household activities.

What do you wish there was more time in your day for? Post a comment below.

Adolescents who suffer from migraine headaches are more likely to get lower grades and have trouble attending school, according to a new study of sibling pairs.

Suffering from migraines was associated with a 5 percent drop in high school GPA, a 5 percent drop in the likelihood of graduating high school and a 15 percent reduction in the likelihood that a teen-ager would attend college, the researchers reported.

It should be noted, however, that 30 to 40 percent of the reductions could be explained by excused absences from school, difficulty paying attention in class and trouble completing homework.

Joseph Sabia, a public policy professor at American University in Washington, D.C., and Daniel Rees, an economics professor at University of Colorado Denver, conducted the study by examining data from the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health, according to a news release from American University.

Sabia and Rees said that teens who had nonmigraine headaches didn't suffer the same drops in academic performance.

By focusing on differences between siblings, Rees stated in the news release, "we can rule out the possibility that family-level factors such as socioeconomic status are driving the relationship between migraine headache and academic performance."

The findings were presented earlier this week at the Western Economic Association International's annual conference in Vancouver, British Columbia. It was the first study of its kind to examine the effect of migraine headaches on adolescents in regard to future academic achievement.

Sabia and Rees conducted the study by analyzing migraine experiences and high school grades of 214 siblings from 105 families. They obtained information on high school completion and college attendance from 280 siblings belonging to 137 families, according to the news release.

The No. 1 myth pediatricians want parents to know: There is no such thing as a fever that is too high, and it won't damage your child's brain.

The myth is so rampant that Dr. Lara Zibners dedicated an entire chapter to fevers in her new book, "if your kid eats this book, everything will still be okay" (Grand Central Publishing, $14.99, 320 pages).

Zibners, a pediatrician and Carmichael native, wrote the book to serve as a kind of crash-course handbook for parents on how to discern whether a child's ailment is truly an emergency.

Is your child suffering from abdominal pain? Try the potty before the pediatrician - it's likely due to constipation.

Pulling on the ears? This could mean a number of things, not just ear infection.

And the only thing that teething produces is teeth, not fever, diarrhea or a runny nose.

It was Zibners' husband who came up with the idea for the book, after hearing his frustrated wife have the same conversations over and over with patients.

"People were coming into the emergency room with things that shouldn't be in the ER," Zibners said, during a phone interview from her home in London, England.

Zibners, who did a three-year fellowship in pediatric emergency medicine in Columbus, Ohio before working in New York City, said parents would come in wanting to know the difference between Tylenol or Motrin.

One of the more memorable cases from her time in New York was a family who came into the packed ER on Thanksgiving Day. Their 15-year-old daughter had a callous on her foot.

"Most people, when they come in with inappropriate things, it's well intentioned," she said.

Another one of her favorite cases was when a frantic mother brought in her young daughter into the ER with a huge red streak down the child's arm.

"The little girl had eaten a Popsicle and fallen asleep," Zibners said. "I got a wash cloth and wiped it off."

Zibners' book, which has a great index section so parents can quickly reference their child's ailment or situation, covers everything from poop colors to procedures, all in an informative, yet approachable, tone.

"It's meant to be humorous and meant to make you stop and laugh at your own neurotic thinking," she said.

Zibners said her best advice to parents is to "close your ears to all the nonsense that is buzzing out there."

The Internet and even family and friends are chockfull of misinformation and myths, she said.

"You have to rely on your pediatrician and your common sense," she said. "Be very wary of the stuff you hear on the playground and in moms groups."

Writer's note: Before you get feverish over the fever myth and e-mail me in a fit of outrage, here's what Zibners - and other pediatricians I consulted - said about fevers: Fevers should be handled differently depending on the child's age.

Your 1-month-old or younger newborn should see a doctor if the infant is running a fever of 100.4 degrees Fahrenheit or higher. Many babies 1 to 3 months old also should be seen by a doctor if the temperature hits 100.4 degrees.

Fever in a child older than 3 months? Look at how the child is acting to discern whether there's a bigger problem. If the child has a temperature of 104 degrees Fahrenheit and is happy and bursting with energy, not a problem. If they are miserable with the fever and continue to be pathetic after the fever has dropped, call the doctor.

Two concerned parents recently wrote me after reading my article "An ounce of prevention: Apply often," which appeared in Tuesday's Family section.

They were troubled that the photo showed a 4-month-old boy being slathered with sunscreen, since using large amounts of sunscreen on infants is contrary to the American Academy of Pediatrics' (AAP) recommendations.

For the record, here's what the AAP states on its Web site about sunscreen and babies under 6 months old:

• The two main recommendations from the AAP to prevent sunburn are to avoid sun exposure, and dress infants in lightweight long pants, long-sleeved shirts, and brimmed hats that shade the neck to prevent sunburn. However when adequate clothing and shade are not available, parents can apply a minimal amount of suncreen with at least 15 SPF (sun protection factor) to small areas, such as the infant's face and the back of the hands. If an infant gets sunburn, apply cold compresses to the affected area.
  

Thank you to the watchful Bee readers who pointed out the AAP's recommendations.

Today, a close friend sent me an e-mail that left me grinning from ear to ear.

The subject line read "Check this out!" and had three photos attached. I opened the first one, which showed her sweet little girl smiling big. "How cute," I thought. "I can't wait to see them next weekend."

I clicked open the second photo and noticed her shirt read: "Big Sister." I thought it an odd shirt for her to wear since she's an only child.

"How funny!  I wonder if she's wearing one of her cousins' hand-me-down shirts," I mused to myself. (Am I the only mommy who talks out loud to herself? I think it's a coping mechanism developed while at home, sleep-deprived and yearning for a shower, during those tough first months after our babies are born.)

By the third photo, the light bulb went off in my head. Duh Niesha.

Goosebumps covered my arms as I giddily dialed my friend's phone number, left a congratulatory message and then issued a pleading directive to call me. Ah, the excitement of welcoming a new life into this world.

I wish I had been as clever when my husband and I announced our children's impending births. I blurted out the news of my first pregnancy to anyone who would pick up the phone. (At right is my son's first picture - the ultrasound). When I found out I was pregnant with my daughter (Shock and awe doesn't begin to cover it), I gave my husband an early Father's Day card from his newest child. That's as imaginative as I got.

How did you share your pregnancy news with your friends and family? Post a comment here and share your stories.

Skyrocketing summer temperatures are prompting emergency officials to issue warnings about the dangers of leaving children unattended in cars.

The American College of Emergency Physicians on Monday urged the public not to leave anyone in a hot vehicle, especially children, during the summer.

"Putting it bluntly, leaving your child in a hot car is like leaving your child in a lit oven," Dr. Nick Jouriles, the medical society's president, stated in a news release.

Jouriles issued an extra caution for sleep-deprived parents or parents who may have experienced changes in schedule or routine.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the inside temperature of a car can rise nearly 20 degrees Fahrenheit during the first 10 minutes, putting anyone left inside at risk for heat-related illnesses or death.

Children left in parked cars, even with the windows cracked open, have the greatest risk of heat stroke and death, the CDC states on its Web site.

Symptoms of heat stroke include an extremely high temperature (above 103 degrees Fahrenheit, taken orally), strong rapid pulse, throbbing headache, dizziness, nausea, confusion and unconsciousness, the CDC reports.

If people see a child left unattended in a vehicle, call 911 immediately, said Officer Laura Peck, a spokeswoman for the Sacramento Police Department.

"That is a life-threatening emergency," she said.

The parent may be held criminally responsible in some cases.

California law prohibits a parent, legal guardian or someone responsible for a child 6 years old or younger from leaving the child in a vehicle without being supervised by someone 12 years old or older when conditions may pose a risk to the child's health or safety or if the vehicle's engine is running or the key is in the ignition.

The law is named for Kaitlyn Russell, a 6-month-old girl who died after being alone in a parked car for more than two hours.

Here are some prevention tips from the American College of Emergency Physicians:

• Never leave children alone in a vehicle.

• Check the vehicle before you get out of it.

• If you child travels in a rear-facing car seat, keep a reminder of the child in the front seat, such as a stuffed animal.

For more information about heat-related illness, go to the CDC's online prevention guide.

For more summer safety issues, read my story in today's Living Here Family section.

I have a couple of items for willing parent testers.

Zoya, a nail cosmetic company that makes what they claim is the "world's longest wearing natural nail polish," sent us some of their latest colors to sample. I am hoping to find a hip, local mom to try out the nail polish and write up a little review on how long it lasted, what trials the polish endured (full disclosure: one of the colors is a raspberry red, the other is a sparkly slate gray).

I also have a book titled "A Parent's Guide to the Middle School Years," by Joe Bruzzese, a professor at University of California, Santa Barbara. The parent would read the book and write up a little review, which may be published here on the blog.

The first person to e-mail me their interest in either the polish or the book can have the product to sample.

The tester must be willing to pick up the product at the Bee's office, 2100 Q St., Sacramento.

The Capitol Corridor train is offering free weekend rides for kids through October.

The Capitol Corridor train runs from Auburn to San Jose and includes stops near major family attractions, such as the California State Railroad Museum in Sacramento, Fisherman's Wharf and Pier 39 in San Francisco and the Children's Discovery Museum in San Jose.

The deal applies for up to two children ages 2 to 15 years old for every one full-fare adult ticket purchased, the Capitol Corridor Joint Powers Authority's Web site states. (Kids under age 2 ride seated on a parent's lap at no cost.)

As if not having to drive wasn't enough of an incentive, each Capitol Corridor train also has a Cafe Car featuring snacks and beverages.

For details, check out the Capitol Corridor Web site.

Want to come play?

The Bee is inviting parents to a play date from 9 to 10 a.m. Saturday at the playground at William Land Park in Sacramento.

Come join Features Editor Cathie Anderson and me for a morning of playground fun and camaraderie. We'll have some free goodies to give away and products for readers to take home and sample.

We want to swap parenting ideas and find out what you want to read about in our Living Here Family section.

Feel free to bring along your Frisbees, kickballs and other toys.

The playground is located on the western side of the park, near the intersection of 13th Avenue and Cavanaugh Way (west of the baseball fields). See you there!

State Superintendent of Public Instruction Jack O'Connell announced today that free meals are available for children at nearly 2,900 locations this summer through federally funded food programs run through the State Department of Education.

Children 18 years old and younger in low-income areas are eligible for the free meals, which are required to serve milk, fruits, vegetables or juice, grain products and meat or a meat alternative, a department news release states.

The Summer Food Service and Seamless Summer Feeding Option programs, which operate when schools are not in session for 15 days or more, allow sites to serve two meals or one meal and a snack per day.

"The summer nutrition program provides vital aid to students who would otherwise go hungry, and helps them to return to school in the fall ready to learn," O'Connell states in the release.

During the 2007-2008 school year, 3.1 million of the state's K-12 students, nearly 51 percent, were enrolled in the state's free and reduced-price meal programs, and education officials expect the numbers to rise given the state of the economy.

A Bee analysis of state education department data by my colleagues Phillip Reese and Melody Gutierrez revealed that an additional 5,000 children in Sacramento County public schools received a free or reduced-price lunch during the 2008-2009 school year, a quicker growth rate than any seen in the previous 15 years.

Click here to read their report.

In addition to making sure children don't go hungry, officials also are hoping families take advantage of the free summer meals because it could mean an increase in federal funding for the state.

If the state's summer meal programs feed 100 percent of the low-income kids who ate free or reduced-price school lunches in 2008, the state will get an additional $181 million in federal reimbursement to the programs, O'Connell said.

The state has set up an interactive Web site to help parents find summer meal program services. Click here to go the Web site, which will be updated throughout the summer.

For more information about the summer meal programs, go to the state Department of Education's Web site.

I received an e-mail recently about time-saving tools I could download and print for free.

I had every intention of printing the cute organization sheets, which have clever names like "The Balance Sheet" and promise to make my life less chaotic.

I put the kids to bed and sat down to print them out, eager to test-drive this wonder organization tool, only to find that our printer is out of ink.

Maybe I should have started using the "to do" sheet the Web site offers a bit earlier.

The sheets, which you can download for free, are by Mommy Track'd, a parenting Web site that also sells pre-printed versions and other organizational stationary and tools. I'm told celebrity moms like Tori Spelling and Brooke Shields are fans of the site.

I'm going to give the organization tools a try, namely the "Eat Sheet," which allows you to plan out a week's menu along with a corresponding grocery list. I'm hoping it helps out my current, pathetic version of meal planning - which consists of me frantically thinking about what to cook for dinner on the drive home while my two hungry, grouchy kids search their car seats for cookie remnants.

In the meantime, check out the free Mommy Track'd planning sheets and post your thoughts. Helpful or too plan-tastic?

Want to come play?

The Bee is inviting parents to a play date from 9 to 10 a.m. Saturday at the playground at William Land Park.

Come join Features Editor Cathie Anderson and me for a morning of playground fun and camaraderie. We'll have some free goodies to give away and products for readers to take home and sample.

We want to swap parenting ideas and find out what you want to read about in our Living Here Family section.

Feel free to bring along your Frisbees, kickballs and other toys. It's more important than ever to get the region's kids moving. Let's get active together!

A Sacramento mother opened up today to my colleague, Bill Lindelof, about how swine flu killed her daughter in hopes that her story will help prevent others from succumbing to the virus.

Beth Kizere, 24, died Tuesday at UC Davis Medical Center, the first person to die from the H1N1 virus in Sacramento County, raising the state-wide death toll to nine.

Click here to read Lindelof's story.

As a parent, Kizere's death served as an heart-wrenching reminder that I need to make sure our family is taking the proper precautions against the illness.

A quick search of the American Academy of Pediatrics' (AAP) site yielded some familiar tips, such as hand washing, but also advice on what to do if swine flu is reported in their area, what to do if a child has flu-like symptoms and how to avoid overreacting.

Click here to read the AAP's tips for parents.

An emergency children's shelter will reopen in south Sacramento thanks to a major grant from the First 5 Sacramento Commission.

The Sacramento Children's Home received an $853,000 grant from the commission to reopen its South Crisis Nursery, which closed two years ago due to lack of funding, said Michael Kressner, a spokesman for the children's home.

The organization also has a nursery program in North Sacramento, which has remained open since 1996.

The Sacramento Children's Home and First 5 Sacramento Commission are holding a ceremony at 11 a.m. today to celebrate the reopening of the crisis nursery in South Land Park.

The nursery, which serves children ages birth to 5 years old, is scheduled to open July 1 and will have space for eight children overnight and 10 children in its emergency child care program.

The goal of the crisis nursery program is to keep children safe by providing free, voluntary and confidential emergency care for children "when parents are overwhelmed and exhausted," Kressner said.

"We see parents who seek help as heroes, because all parents need help at some point," he said.

The program also provides counseling for parents. According to exit surveys, 95 percent of families felt the crisis nursery program reduced the risk of their child being harmed.

Over the past 13 years, the program has served more than 6,000 children and 4,300 families in Sacramento County.

The commission's grant - funded through Proposition 10, a 50 cent-per-pack tax on cigarettes - will provide enough funding to run the South Crisis Nursery for one year. Officials have already begun looking for funding sources to keep the nursery open, Kressner said.

For more information about the Sacramento Children's Home, go to their Web site.

The First 5 Sacramento Commission also has more information about the programs it supports on its Web site.

The North Crisis Nursery can be reached at (916) 452-3981. The South Crisis Nursery can be reached at (916)  394-2000.

Do you have children who would might like to test drive the latest Wiggles CD?

The Wiggles are releasing their newest collection of songs, "The Wiggles Go Bananas!" to correspond with their concert tour. We got a hold of an advance copy and want to give it to a local family to see what they think of The Wiggles newest musical adventure.

The CD includes the song "Monkey Man" featuring Australian pop star Kylie Minogue and other tunes centered around animals and jungle themes.

The first person to e-mail me or post a comment saying they'd like the CD is welcome to it, in exchange for a paragraph or two review that I'll post here on the Mom.me blog.

Jon and Kate Gosselin announced Monday night on their reality television show "Jon & Kate Plus 8" that their 10 year marriage has ended.

 

As cameras chronicled scenes of the eight Gosselin children getting cute crooked houses and at a rainy Mother's Day brunch, the couple voiced disappointed remarks about their decision to separate.

 

"It's just not good for us, for our kids, to be arguing in front of our kids," Jon Gosselin said during the show's episode Monday.

 

Kate Gosselin said the couple has been "dealing a long time with this," and said her goal with the separation is to provide peace for her twins and sextuplets.

 

"I just need relief now," she said. "I need to turn the page."

 

But will that new chapter not include a reality TV show?

 

America has watched the Gosselins marriage publicly dissolve in recent weeks, after rumors that Jon Gosselin had an affair leaked through the media.

 

The TLC show's ratings skyrocketed as tabloids shouted news of their rocky marriage. The show ranked No. 1 among the top 10 cable programs in the Nielsen ratings for the week of June 1 through 7, having snagged 5.94 million viewers, according to online Neilsen information.

 

On Monday night's episode, the couple essentially confirmed that they will keep doing the show, although they will be sharing time with the kids separately.

 

"How does the show go on? The show must go on," Kate Gosselin said.

 

Must it? Have the Gosselins extended their reality show welcome?

 

Isn't it hard enough for these eight children to go through their parents separation without the entire country watching?

 

What do you think? Should Jon and Kate Gosselin continue with their reality show?

Got a big idea for your community that needs a little funding? Scholastic may just have the solution.

The media company is holding a contest asking children, parents, teachers and others for ideas on how to create positive changes in their communities, according to a Scholastic news release.

Participants of the "Be Big in Your Community Contest" must submit ideas based on Clifford The Big Red Dog's "Big Ideas," which are principles central to the Clifford television cartoons.

The "Big Ideas" include share, play fair, have respect, work together, be responsible, be a good friend, help others, be truthful, be kind and believe in yourself, the release states.

The grand prize is a $25,000 community grant. Ten runner-up contestants also will receive grants of $2,500 each.

The winning idea will be made a reality with help from the HandsOn Network, a nationwide volunteer organization.

The contest ends Friday.

For more information or to enter, go the contest's Web site.

There's nothing like a bad bout of forgetfulness and a theme park to make you appreciate your husband's patience.

This weekend was like an odd reality show. The kind that makes you look around for the cameras and producer, hoping someone will yell "cut."

It started with my not-so-brilliant idea to take our little nuclear family Saturday to Six Flags Discovery Kingdom. My brother works there as a drummer, and I thought it would be a fun way to spend the afternoon and let the kids hang out with their uncle after his shift ended.

What a hip mom, I thought.

I started prepping for the day-trip Friday night, getting all of our clothes ready and the backpack stockpiled with the requisite fruit snacks, apple juice and fishy crackers.

We bought our tickets and parking pass online (the park has a cost-saving deal going right now, just $30 for an adult ticket) and printed them at home. My husband photocopied our son and daughter's birth certificates so we could prove they are 2 and 1, respectively.

We took the kids on a 2-mile walk to a playground Saturday morning to tire them out so we could nap them early before heading to the theme park.

An hour of traffic and one Wiggles DVD later, we arrived at the theme park in Vallejo.

Where is the parking pass?

Where are the tickets?

Spending quality time with family, volunteering and simply putting family expenses into perspective can help decrease stress caused by the sagging economy.

These are just some of the suggestions offered by Dr. Richard Bermudes, an adolescent and adult psychiatrist with  Mindful Health Solutions in El Dorado Hills.

With many families throughout the Sacramento region suffering job losses, wage reductions and other financial dilemmas, I sat down with Bermudes recently and asked him for some advice for families on how to cope during this fierce economic downturn.

Q: What is your advice for families dealing with loss of a job or other financial stress?

A: People who are Type A (personalities) and are losing jobs tend to respond by working harder at job searching and putting in applications. But the compulsion to work hard is difficult in that it narrows their portfolio of value. In the past, their value was linked to their career. We can develop a narrow portfolio and lose sense of the value of relationship when our identity is our job. You have to think beyond your employment. Maybe it means I sit down and play a game of Monopoly three times a week with my kids and while I'm playing, I'm there. Who can argue with the value in that?

If you're unemployed and not getting leads, volunteer. Job search for two to three hours (beyond that might doesn't tend to yield many results, Bermudes later explained), then volunteer somewhere. Giving has been shown to improve well-being. Get involved with the community. It's important to mental health. I really believe that volunteering is kind of amazing and there's something rewarding about giving of yourself ... And that could lead to job opportunities you may not have thought of.

Q: If a family is dealing with a major financial restructure, how should parents respond? Should we tell the kids what is going on?

A: Maintain family routines and traditions. It's also important not to treat (financial upheaval) as a catastrophe. This is not to mean that you should deny the difficulty of living on a reduced budget, but show (children) what you're going to value. Tell them "Here's where it's tough, but here's how we'll cope." For kids, it's important to put it in a framework they can understand. Something like "We're going to spend more time with the toys we have." For a preteen, the conversation may look different.

Q: How do we help teenagers cope with the financial impacts of the recession without worrying them? What do you do when your teen asks you "Are we poor?"

A: Try to get an understanding of how they are getting to that question. Answer the question with a question: What does he think about that? Sometimes, good old-fashioned empathy works best. Put yourself in their shoes. And be honest. Tell them "We may not have as much money, but here is what we do have."

Talk to them about your financial plan and the uncertainty, but also explain that not everything is perfect. Follow it up with "What is certain about today is I love you. What is certain about today is we are going to have dinner time." It's OK to admit that you're a little nervous, but channel that nervous energy and so something together as a family. Go on a walk, exercise, go out and find nature.

Bermudes offered an exercise in appreciation for teenagers that may just help parents too. For two weeks, document all the family's activities, outings and purchases (examples include going on a walk, having dinner at home together, renting a movie etc.). At the end of the experiment, the family will have a tangible list of things they have, rather than a mental list of things they do not.

Calling all families: free stuff in exchange for your feedback.

We get a lot of books and products for review consideration, far more than my family can endure.

So, in an effort to interact with readers (and actually see the surface of my desk), I'm going to offer some of it to the first people who e-mail me saying they are interested in participating. This likely will become a routine feature for this blog, since my work space is beginning to look like children's supply store.

The rules are simple: you have to come pick up the items at the Bee (2100 Q St., Sacramento), try them out and e-mail me your assessment of the given product.

I may reprint all or portions of your feedback, and may follow up with you for further explanation.

Here's are the items I have at the moment. First person to e-mail me gets the specified product. Please include your name, city of residence and the product you wish to try.

1. "Sandcastles Made Simple," by Lucinda "sandy feet" Wierenga (Stewart, Tabori & Chang, $10.95, 128 pages). A how-to guidebook on building easy to elaborate sand castles. Test family would need to try out one or more of the sand projects at a sandy location (beach, lake etc) in the next month or so. *Note: The tester would not have to make as elaborate of a sand castle as the one pictured in the above photo (photo by The Bee's Anne Chadwick Williams). That sand sculpture was made for the California State Fair in 2000.

2. momAgenda, chores list and baby-sitter's notes - A cute planner and accompanying stationary intended to help mom organize her life. Tester would try it out for a few weeks/month and let us know their thoughts. Did it really make life easier?

3. "Positive Parenting for Bipolar Kids." by Mary Ann McDonnell and Janet Wozniak
(Bantam Books, $16, 347 pages). The book, drawing on pediatric specialists' research, claims to teach parents how to identify bipolar disorder, talk to doctors, choose a "treatment team" and help families cope. Testers would preferably be a parent whose child has been diagnosed with the disorder.

Today marks the 100^th anniversary of when Sonora Dodd, of Spokane, Wash. thought up the notion of Father's Day, in honor of her widowed dad, a Civil War veteran who was raised six children on a farm.

It also marks the day we want to hear from fathers about the stories they want to see this blog address.

A lot of attention has been devoted to mom bloggers and moms sites in recent years, but what about dad?

While this blog is primarily aimed at mothers, it doesn't mean to be exclusionary of fathers' concerns.

There are some 64.3 million dads in the U.S., and of those 25.8 have kids younger than 18 years old, according to the U.S. Census Bureau.

We know that 53 percent and 71 percent of kids under 6 years old ate breakfast and dinner, respectively, with their dads every day in 2006.

And that 36 percent of kids younger than 6 years old had 15 or more outings with their dad in a month-long period that same year, the census bureau reports.

So that makes YOU, dad, just the expert we want to hear from.

Post a comment below or e-mail me about what you wish you had more time to do with your kids. What makes you mad at the playground? How has the economy impacted your family budget? Is there a problem I can help you solve?

Fathers work hard. You deserve to be heard too.

For Father's Day gift and event ideas, see my previous blog post.

Christmas in ... June?

You read that correctly. Disney is bringing its "Disney's A Christmas Carol" Train Tour to Old Sacramento Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

The area near the California State Railroad Museum on I Street will transform into a winter wonderland complete with carolers and falling snow as part of the free family event.

For more information, check out Bee writer Dixie Reid's post on our 21Q blog.

Tasha Blaine worked as a nanny briefly - just three months each for two different families.

She thought it would be like babysitting and afford her time to write. It didn't take her long, however, to realize that spending about 50 hours a week with a 1-year-old was a hard job, and one that would result in an overwhelming attachment between her and the little girl.

"When you're working as a nanny, you're taking care of their intellectual and emotional development too," said Blaine, who lives in South Land Park.

Though the work was more complex than she envisioned, it opened her up to a world she had never before seen. One that inspired her to write a book about the lives of nannies which, despite having just been released last week, is gaining national attention and acclaim.

"Just Like Family," (Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, $25, 336 pages) takes readers into the lives of three New York nannies and the families they work for, and on a deeper journey through the nannies' personal lives and the struggles they endure.

The book has made New York Magazine's and Newsday's summer reading lists, and has been written about in the New York Times and other Web sites.

For Blaine, one of the most surprising discoveries she made while working on the book was that many nannies she encountered had left behind children in other countries.

"There are a lot of countries that are really supported by the men and women working in the U.S. who are sending money home," she said.

Such was the case with one of the women in the book, Claudia (whose name was changed in the book), who left her son behind in her native Dominica while he was still nursing. Claudia didn't see her son again until he was almost 16, Blaine said.

"It was very eye-opening," she said.

Writing the book also helped shape her perception of child care, as did having her own children. Blaine and her husband have two daughters, ages 1 and 4

"I think that for a working mother, as soon as you have children and decide you want to work, child care becomes a central issue in your life," she said. "I feel that, and felt that."

More mystifying, she said, is how some parents treat their nannies - the very people they rely on to help raise their children.

"I can't imagine, as a parent, how you could mistreat the person who cares for your children," she said.

Response to the book has been good so far among the families and nannies that served as the main characters in Blaine's nonfiction work.

The nannies "loved it," she said.

"They are real women, they are three-dimensional and they are a little flawed and I think they embrace all of that," Blaine said. "I think they really wanted to be heard by a broader society and that's why they gave themselves over to me in a way."

Blaine will be reading an excerpt from "Just Like Family" at 2 p.m. Saturday at the Avid Reader at the Tower, 1600 Broadway, Sacramento. She also is scheduled to speak at 4 p.m. June 28 at Book Passage, 51 Tamal Vista Blvd., Corte Madera.

For more information about Blaine, visit her Web site.

Calling all mothers and fathers out there: I need your advice, ideas, tips and suggestions.

What do you want to know about? What are you coming here to read? What kind of advice to you want to see?

I want to ensure that this blog is of you, about you and for you, and for that, I need you. Post a comment or e-mail me about the sorts of stories you want to see here. I'll do my best to see that they get written.

Thanks!

He's the father of your children, the love of your life.

The man who, after witnessing 12 hours of childbirth complete with gore and death threats against him, kissed you gently on the forehead and tucked you in to rest while he rocked your new baby by your hospital bedside.

So when it comes to Father's Day this year, what do you get the hero your kids call Dad?

Sure you could go the tie or coffee mug route, but where is the fun in that?

There are ways to dazzle dear old dad this year, and the good news is there are some terrific deals out there as well.

Whether you've got a fisherman or a philanthropist, here are some ways to show the special dad in your family that you love him:

• Take him out to the ballgame - The Sacramento River Cats are offering one lucky dad a chance to be honored with a special message written on the Raley Field infield during Sunday's game. The message will read "Happy Father's Day" and include the winning father's name. Everyone who purchases a Father's Day family pack through Friday will be entered to win. The winning ticket holder will be selected Friday and notified before the game. The Father's Day family packs are on sale now and tickets start at $14 per person (there is a minimum of four tickets per order). Each ticket includes entry to the game, a hot dog, soda, chips, dessert and ticket to Fairytale Town and the Sacramento Zoo. For information on how to mail in a contest entry, go to the Rivercats' Web site.
  

• Honor the animal in him - He's a parent to your little monkeys, why not add a real monkey to the list? The Sacramento Zoo has animals for "adoption" through its Zoo Parent program. Parent packages, which start at $25, include a personalized zoo parenthood gift certificate and the parent's name on display on the Zoo Parent Showcase for one year. For extra fun, have the kids pick out the newest addition to the family.
  

• A picture's worth a thousand words - This idea comes to us from Sacramento Bee staff writer and fellow mommy Laurel Rosenhall: how about a Bee photo of dad's favorite sport, hobby, animal or season? The photos, which start around $15 for an unframed 5-by-7 print, can be ordered in a variety of sizes and customized with frames. Rex Babin cartoon also are available for purchase. The photos may not arrive in time for Father's Day, but the family could show dad the photo Sunday online (a photo by Bee photographer Manny Crisostomo of a duck on Lake Tahoe is shown above and is one of many photos available). Photo gift certificates are available online, and can be printed or e-mailed to recipients. Click here for more information from The Bee's photo reprint Web site.
  

• Meal and a movie - The Esquire IMAX Theatre is offering dad a free movie, and discounts for the rest of the family, on Sunday with the purchase of a meal from a downtown or midtown restaurant. Guests can present a restaurant receipt from any downtown or midtown restaurant of at least $20 and get IMAX tickets for $5 per person. Tickets must be purchased at the box office within seven days of the restaurant receipt. The offer is good for up to four tickets per receipt. This just in: Star Trek is opening at IMAX on Friday, just in time for Father's Day. The Father's Day free ticket still applies, but customers would get $5 off a full price ticket for that show, IMAX officials say.
  

• Take him shopping (seriously) - The Fountains at Roseville is hosting two events for dad. Orvis is having a fly-fishing demonstration, casting lessons and contest from 10 a.m. to noon and from 2 to 4 p.m. Sunday. Winners get a Fountains VIP coupon book and an Orvis gift card. Want to really wow dad? Add a California sport fishing license. A one-year license is $41.20, with provisions available for second rod, ocean and Bay-Delta fishing. Go the state Department of Fish and Game's licensing Web site for more information or to order a license online. Fountains at Roseville also is holding a contest to name its pond Sunday. Entries can be submitted at the event and the winner will get a $100 Fountains gift card. Tres Agaves, a tequila store and Mexican restaurant, is hosting a book signing from 3 to 6 p.m. Sunday featuring Joanne Weir, author of "Tequila: A Guide to Types, Flights, Cocktails, and Bites" (Ten Speed Press, $16.95, 144 pages).
   

Summer seems like the time of year when even student athletes would be inclined to relax, but some see it as an opportunity to practice and play sports without the time constraints of school.

It's also the season when overtraining injuries tend to spike, doctors warn.

Overuse injuries and burnout are growing problems among the estimated 30 to 45 million athletes who are 6 to 18 years old, according to a clinical report published in 2007 in the journal Pediatrics.

Up to 50 percent of injuries seen by pediatric sports medicine doctors are related to overuse, the report states.

At the root of the problem is repetitive motion and children playing the same sport year-round, said Dr. Stephen Howell, an orthopedic surgeon and sports medicine specialist at Mercy Methodist Hospital of Sacramento.

"There's never a down season for a particular joint," said Howell, who is pictured at left. "I think it's more common because you have kids playing on a junior high or high school team, and they're also playing on club teams. That's a lot of games, a lot of practices."

The most frequent prescription for overuse injuries is something an ambitious athlete likely won't want to hear - rest.

"They need to avoid all aspects of training, and sometimes that's a very difficult decision," Howell said.

The physical effects of overtraining are only part of the problem, however.

Young athletes also are at risk of developing burnout, said Dr. Matthew Hay, a Texas City pediatrician with the University of Texas Medical Branch at Galveston.

"Severe burnout in children looks exactly like depression," said Hay, pictured at right.

Symptoms include fatigue, nonspecific pain for more than two weeks and poor academic performance.

Burnout often is a result of parents putting unnecessary pressure on a child because they envision them getting a scholarship or making a professional or Olympic team.

That goal is unrealistic for a majority of child and teen athletes since fewer than 1 percent of high school athletes make the pros, the Pediatrics clinical report states.

Given that statistic, parents of young athletes should instead encourage their kids to enjoy their sport without pushing them to unrealistic limits, Hay said.

"The whole point of sports is to have fun," he said.

Here are some tips for parents based on recommendations from the American Academy of Pediatrics:

• Make sure your child takes at least one to two days off from competitive games, practice and training each week.

• Encourage them to vary the sports they play. Using different muscle groups will help prevent overtraining injuries and burnout.

• Training goals (e.g. repetitions, distance) should not increase by more than 10 percent per week.

• The child should take at least two to three months off from a specific sport each year.

• Limit the athlete's sports involvement to one team per season.

Getting your child to brush their teeth just got a lot more lucrative.

The California Milk Processor Board - the folks behind GOT MILK? - has teamed with the Dental Health Foundation to educate families on the importance of eating calcium rich foods as a way to help prevent tooth decay.

The campaign includes a photo contest for children ages 6 to 12 years old. The child with the winning smile will get a $500 toy store shopping spree, an electric toothbrush and various GOT MILK? loot.

Can you imagine all the Legos that would buy? My feet tingle in pain just thinking about it.

The campaign, which launched this week in conjunction with June being National Dairy Month and National Smile Month, is an effort to increase dental health through diet.

According to a report by the Dental Health Foundation, more than 50 percent of kids have had tooth decay, and that figure rises to 70 percent by the time children reach third grade, states a news release.

Dr. Richard Sobel, an Oakland area pediatric dentist and member of the foundation's board, said a child's nutritional and oral development can be improved simply by replacing processed foods with dairy products such as yogurt, milk and cheese.

"By avoiding sugary snacks in the beginning, it helps prevent them from snacking on that in the future and that helps prevent tooth decay," he said.

In general, children should be seen by a dentist at age 1 to evaluate their growth, show parents how to examine their children's teeth and provide tips on brushing and flossing, Sobel said.

The "Say Cheese with GOT MILK?" photo contest runs through July 31 and is open only to California residents.

Click here to e-mail your photo to the contest. Photos may not exceed 8 megabytes.

Photos also may be mailed to Say Cheese with Got Milk? Photo Contest, c/o RL Public Relations, 11835 W. Olympic Blvd., Suite 1155E, Los Angeles, CA 90064.

For more contest information, go to the GOT MILK? Web site.

California schools Superintendent Jack O'Connell is backing legislation that would enable the state to better help children of military families.

The state Department of Education today released the final report of a task force examining educational opportunities for military children, which recommends removing barriers military children often face as a result of frequent moves and deployment of parents on active duty.

"Military families make many sacrifices on behalf of our country's safety and security," O'Connell said in a written statement. "Children of men and women in the service often shoulder an extra burden of trying to complete their education while transferring from one state to another ... We can help these students overcome some of these challenges."

Of the 6.2 million children enrolled in California schools, about 61,552, or roughly 1 percent, are children of military families, said Tina Jung, a department spokeswoman.

The challenges enumerated in the report include differences in immunization rules from state to state, entrance ages for kindergarteners and first-graders, exit exams and graduation requirements, a department news release states.

The task force, which is comprised of lawmakers, military, educators and other government officials, recommends easing restrictions regarding release of student records, placing students in the right courses and programs, helping ensure on-time graduation and encouraging school districts to help students receive credit toward their diploma for coursework completed in out-of-state school districts.

The taskforce also recommends that California adopt the Interstate Compact, essentially a multistate agreement to remove educational barriers for military children.

The compact would cost the state about $62,000, which translates to about $1 per military child per year. Given the state budget deficit, the compact does allow for outside funding sources to be accepted.

The compact has been enacted in 20 states, and 18 others, including California, have introduced bills that would enable them to join.

Assemblywoman Lori Saldana, D-San Diego, introduced the bill (AB 343), which is currently in the state Senate and has been passed by several committees.

To read the task force's findings, go to the state report on military children.

A Lake Tahoe backpacking expert is offering parents an opportunity to learn how to backpack with children, complete with an overnight trip to Dardanelles Lake and a guidebook, for under $100.

Tim Hauserman, a freelance writer who has written several guidebooks about backpacking and cross-country skiing in the Sierra Nevada, has teamed with the Tahoe Rim Trail Association to teach the two-session class, scheduled for June 16 and 23 at the association's office in Incline Village, Nev.

The overnight backpacking trip, which is optional, is scheduled for June 27 and 28.

Total cost per family is $95 and includes a copy of Hauserman's book "Monsters in the Woods: Backpacking with Children" (University of Nevada Press, 2007, $15.95).

Hauserman, pictured in the photo with his teenage daughter Sarah above Fontanelles and Dicks lakes, began taking his two girls backpacking when they were about 6 years old.

That's the earliest parents might want to try taking their kids backpacking unless their children are infants and can be toted in carriers, he advised.

"Six years old is fine if you don't go too far," he said. "Between 2 and 6 years old is tough."

When backpacking with children, it's a good idea to plan to stay in one location at least one full day, which Hauserman calls a "layover day."

Giving kids a chance to hike, swim and walk around without a pack affords them an opportunity to relax and enjoy the outdoors.

"That's when they really get to explore and figure out nature," he said.

Backpacking also teaches children that they don't need as many material possessions as they might think they do to have fun.

"We never really brought toys," Hauserman said. "Nature was their toy. They were never bored."

Hauserman's course will outline advice for parents, including potential trips, how to deal with wildlife, safety issues, hiking ethics and gear.

For more information or to sign up for the class, e-mail Hauserman.

Slow cookers may just be a parent's best friend.

They cook inexpensive cuts of meat beautifully, don't require constant supervision and don't heat up the house.

They also can result in healthy meals for your kids.

How about creamy, fruity yogurt topped with homemade low-fat granola?

Here's a recipe courtesy of "Slow Cookers For Dummies" by Tom Lacalamita and Glenna Vance, John Wiley & Sons, $16.99, 264 pages.

Slow Cooker Good Morning Granola

Prep time: 10 minutes
Cook time: High for two hours; low for four to six hours
Serves: About 24 ( 1/2 cup servings)

Notes: Store bought granola is convenient, but can be high in fat. This recipe reduces the amount of oil and adds powdered milk for calcium and honey for sweetness, the authors note.

INGREDIENTS
10 cups old-fashioned oats (do not use quick-cooking oats)
1 cup sliced almonds
1 cup nonfat powdered milk
2 cups dried cranberries or raisins
1 12-ounce can of frozen, unsweetened apple juice concentrate, thawed
1/4 cup vegetable oil
1/2 cup honey
1/2 teaspoon salt

INSTRUCTIONS
Lightly spray a 6-quart slow cooker with vegetable oil cooking spray. Combine the oats, almonds, powdered milk and dried cranberries in the slow cooker. In a separate bowl, combine the apple juice concentrate, oil, honey and salt and pour over the oat mixture. Stir to combine.

Cook uncovered on high for two hours, stirring every 30 minutes. Reduce the cook setting to low and continue to cook uncovered for four to six hours, or until dry and crisp. Stir frequently while the granola is on low to prevent over-browning.

Let the granola cool to room temperature and store in an airtight container.

Per serving based on 24 servings: 305 Calories (70 From Fat); 8 grams, fat ( 1 gram, saturated); 0 mg, cholesterol; 70 mg, sodium; 50 grams, carbohydrate; 5 grams dietary fiber; 8 grams, protein.

Feeling adventurous? Homemade yogurt also can be made using a slow cooker.

Stephanie O'Dea, a Bay Area mom whose blog chronicled her New Year's resolution to use her slow cooker every day in 2008 (and lived to tell about it), successfully made yogurt in her Crock-Pot and said the do-it-yourself version is both delicious and economical. Check out her recipe.

For more information about using slow cookers as an energy-efficient summer cooking method, check out my story in today's Food and Wine section.

Have you ever wanted to know how many calories you burn while chasing after your children? Shopping? Washing dishes?

There are handy online calculators out there and they won't cost you a thing.

I discovered a few of these tools while researching a story published in The Bee today about the importance of outdoor play for children.

My curiosity got the best of me, so I plugged in some numbers for the types of activities I've been doing the past few days.

To get the most accurate figures, you need to enter your real weight (gulp). According to Dr. Gnanagurudasan Prakasam, a local pediatric endocrinologist, the more someone weighs, the more calories they will burn during a given activity.

I used Health Status' Internet assessments and calculated the totals using scenarios for a 145-pound adult.

Here's what I found, listed by activity, duration of time and calories burned:

• Walking/running while playing with kids, 45 minutes: 195 calories
  

• Running, 60 minutes (10 minute mile): 1,183 calories
  

• Washing dishes, 5 minutes: 12 calories
  

• Dancing, 10 minutes (I dance to The Wiggles with my toddlers, which frankly, I count as aerobic dancing): 65 calories
  

• Cooking, 30 minutes: 87 calories
  

• Shopping, 60 minutes: 156 calories

The calculator will even let you figure out calories burned doing activities such as painting the house (991 calories burned in three hours) and sex (enough said).

The federal government also has some helpful online tools for parents and children.

The U.S. Department of Agriculture's food pyramid Web site has advice for parents on planning healthy family menus, tools for pregnant or breastfeeding mothers and even tips on eating healthy while dining at restaurants.

If you're looking for a fun Web site to get your kids into eating healthy and activity, try the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention's Body and Mind (BAM!) site. Features include games, tips and even a spot where kids can post comments about things they've done to improve their health.

For some parents, the end of the school year means gearing up children for summer camp.

It also may mean thwarting some of the trepidation and homesickness children might have about leaving home, both before they go and while they are away at camp.

Most incidents of homesickness passes in a day or two, according to an American Camp Association (ACA) news release.

The organization recently offered advice for parents on how to help ease children's fears and homesickness.

Here are some of their tips:

• Involve your child in choosing a camp. The more a child "owns" the decision, the more comfortable he or she will feel at camp, the ACA states.
  

• Encourage the child's independence throughout the year. Practice mini-separations, such as sleepovers, to simulate the away-from-home experience.
  

• Talk about what camp will be like ahead of time. Consider role-playing anticipated situations, such as having to use a flashlight to navigate a dark path to the bathroom.
  

• Send a note or care package that will arrive the first day of camp. Write that you will miss your child in a positive way, such as "I am going to miss you, but I know that you will have a good time at camp," the ACA recommendes.
  

• Don't link staying at camp to a material object, which sends the wrong message. The reward should be the child's new confidence and independence.
  

• Pack a personal item from home. A stuffed animal, for example.
  

• Make a prearranged time to call each other. If a camp has a no-phone policy, honor it, the ACA states.
  

• Don't take the child home early. If the child makes a "rescue call," be calm and reassuring and put the time-frame into perspective.
  

• Talk honestly with the camp director to get their perspective on how your child is doing.
  

• Don't feel guilty about encouraging your child to stay. For many children, camp is an initial step toward independence and is an important part of their growth and development, the ACA states.
  

About 7 percent of homesickness cases are "severe," however, and if a child is not eating or sleeping because of anxiety or depression, parents should work with the camp director and other staff to evaluate the situation, the ACA advises.

If you do end up picking up your child early, focus on the positive and encourage your child to try camp again next year, instead of emphasizing the shortened camp stay, the release states.

For more information on homesickness, go to the ACA's online resource for parents.

For information about summer camps in the Sacramento region, go to The Bee's camps list.

For a story on ways to afford summer camp, go to The Bee's 21Q blog.

Moms know all too well the frustration, and sometimes heartbreak, that comes with losing a child's blanket, book or special cup.

 

"No I don't want THAT one," your child inevitably will say when you try to play off the impending disaster and offer a substitute.

 

But thanks to an enterprising mom - and former Carmichael resident - parents can label their children's possessions with ease.

 

Michelle Brandriss launched Name Bubbles in January after trying out other labels to mark her 3-year-old son's things. She liked the functionality of labels, but wanted more colors, more options and more style.

 

Brandriss' labels, which also come in dishwasher- and laundry-safe options, are cheerfully bright and can be customized with the child's name and cute graphics.

 

For camp labels, which are a popular product with parents as summer begins, Brandriss suggests including the child's address, phone number and a family e-mail.

 

"Sometimes kids are taking big-ticket items to camp," she said. "Why not label the MP3 player so it can be returned?"

 

Brandriss' product line includes day care label packs, school label packs and even labels for adults, such as college labels and nursing home labels. Label packs range from about $18 to $34 and often include more than 100 labels in a pack.

 

They also feature eco-friendly ink and can withstand temperatures as low as negative 60 degrees Fahrenheit and 225 degrees Fahrenheit.

 

Brandriss, who is based in upstate New York, attributes her online business' success to the labels' style and the fact that other methods of marking children's possessions, such as permanent marker or masking tape, wears off with time.

 

"It does save time and money because these things end up coming back to you," she said.

 

Trial run: I tried samples of dishwasher- and laundry-safe labels, as well as fun stickers, over the past few months.

 

I stuck them to my kids' cups, clothes, my commuter mug, and even the bottom of my son's Crocs.

 

They were run through the dishwasher and washing machine countless times, but all are still firmly intact.

 

I liked how bright the labels are, and that the ink hasn't yet faded, despite the frequent washes. My son loves the graphics and seeing his name on his things.

 

And I'm no longer scared to send a beloved (newly labeled) book to preschool for share day.

There's a dinosaur in my purse.

Specifically, it's a small, red plastic Triceratops, and it's sharing real estate in a pocket with a slightly fuzzy animal cracker.

I'm not quite sure how I got to this place, where the primary clincher between two purses were pockets that could perfectly fit sippy cups for my 1-year-old daughter and 2-year-old son.

Motherhood is interesting. It changes you, challenges you, chastens you.

For many, it also sends you in search of finding others like you. To find information about issues like how to get your babies to sleep through the night, how to potty train a reluctant toddler, how to have the sex talk with your first born.

Look no further.

Mom.Me is the newest blog launched by The Sacramento Bee. It's a place where mothers can find information about the latest parenting trends, products and books, family friendly events, medical advice, recipes and relationships. It's meant to inform, entertain, enlighten and engage. And with a Sacramento Bee writer authoring it, the blog comes complete with the accurate, well-researched, authoritative content that mothers rely on The Bee to provide.

Moms don't have a lot of spare time - usually a few extra minutes while children are napping or before or after they go to bed. Spend a few minutes with Mom.Me, and you are sure to come away with a new idea, a helpful tip, a much-needed laugh.

Motherhood is a journey. Let Mom.Me be one of your daily destinations.