DEAR KELLY: The boyfriend of one of my best friends drunk- dialed me late at night two weeks ago and wanted to talk.

Long story short, he came over to my house at, like, 3 a.m., and we sat out front and talked. He told me that he has liked me for a long time and never thought that I liked him.

I told him that I had liked him for two years, since we were freshman and before he started dating my BFF.

We agreed we had a lot of things in common, and we should have given our relationship a chance before he ever started dating my BFF. One thing led to another, and we kissed that night but nothing more happened. I swear!

I never planned to kiss him. It just happened. After everything he said, I assumed they would break up, and slowly we would get together since we both really liked each other.

Wrong!

The next week at school, he acted like nothing ever happened and didn't say a word to me about anything we talked about. I texted him to see what was up, and he said that he still likes my BFF. He told me that he had said some things he probably shouldn't have when we talked.

He said he was too drunk to even remember everything we talked about, but that he was sorry if he confused me. I asked if he planned to stay together with my BFF, and he said yes, because they have been together over a year, and he doesn't want to wreck a good thing. I couldn't believe it and felt stupid.

Now I'm angry and feel like I should tell my BFF because I think he might be using her. I know they are having sex, and I think he might be staying with her because of this.

I don't want her to get hurt by him if he is calling and kissing other girls and then staying with her because they have sex. I feel bad for her because she really likes him, and I don't think he likes her as much as she likes him. I can see him breaking her heart sometime soon.

Should I write her an anonymous letter and tell her what happened or somehow let her know, without using my name, that he kissed another girl?

I know that if she finds out it was me, she might end our friendship.

– Stuck In Sacramento

DEAR STUCK: You crossed the boundary lines and disrespected your friend as well as your friendship. Trying to step up and be the "good friend" now seems tardy and very insincere.

Whenever someone in your situation says, "One thing led to another," it sounds a bit shady. You had to know what was happening, and you did nothing to stop it.

Your concern (or anger) doesn't appear to stem solely from the fact that your friend was used but that her boyfriend also used you. It sounds like he is a player and not a stand-up guy, or he could just be a teenage guy who made a big mistake.

It's a little late now to tell her what a bozo he is after you messed around with him behind her back. Quickly, back out of their relationship. Sooner or later, she will learn what he has done or said to other girls if this is happening with other people.

Let him be the one to break her heart, not you. Betrayal by a trusted friend can sometimes hurt worse than a lying or cheating boyfriend.

Stay out of their business and let go of any feelings you have for him. If you strongly feel the need to tell her what happened, then you must be willing to own up to what you did and not put all the blame on him.

Be warned: You might lose a good friend, and odds are, you won't get him, either. But honestly, would you really want him now? If you can't see his true colors after this, you are in big trouble, and I'd be concerned about your choices.

The next time someone drunk- dials you: Hang up before you find yourself in a similar situation.

Kelly Richardson, a Folsom therapist, works with adolescents. Write to her at Teen Talk, The Sacramento Bee, P.O. Box 15880, Sacramento, CA 95852, or e-mail krichardson@sacbee.com.