Teen Talk

Kerfuffle over sunglasses: Theft or misunderstanding?

Missing sunglasses lead to potential teenage drama. Can adult intervention help?
Missing sunglasses lead to potential teenage drama. Can adult intervention help? Associated Press

DEAR KELLY: I saved up my own money for like months and bought an amazing pair of Dior sunglasses that I really wanted. It was like the first really big thing I ever saved for. About a month ago, my really good friend’s cousin from Los Angeles came to visit and spent the night at my house. I showed her my sunglasses and she told me how amazing they were. I even let her try them on. I hung out with them a couple of times that week and all of a sudden one day my glasses were gone. I called my friend and asked if they were at her house. She looked and said no. I got really upset because I used my own money and gift cards to get those glasses, and I really loved them. I called nine different places to see if I had left my glasses there, and no one found them.

Last week I was on Snapchat and saw a picture of her cousin and she was wearing my glasses. I immediately texted my friend, “Your cousin is a thief and took my glasses.” They were definitely my glasses. Like 10 minutes later I went back to Snapchat to take a screenshot of the picture and it was taken down already. I know it wasn’t because it timed out because she had just put her snap up when I saw it. My friend texted back that I was crazy and just because the sunglasses look the same, I was totally wrong for accusing her of that. I told her to text her cousin and ask for a copy of that picture she had taken down, and she refused. She said she wasn’t going to start family drama because I was being paranoid and accusing her cousin.

I direct-messaged her cousin and said, “I saw you with my glasses on. Please send them back and I won’t make a big deal.” She wrote back and told me that she didn’t take mine, hers might be similar but they were not the same and that she has enough money of her own. She then said her cousin had warned her I was crazy (we’ve never had an issue before) and that she would block me if I continued to harass her.

Kelly, what do I do? I’m so upset. I worked so hard for those glasses and I know they are mine. My friend isn’t talking to me now and has told people that I’m crazy and that she wants nothing to do with me. I’m so frustrated and need help.

I Know I’m Right

DEAR RIGHT: Because you worked hard for your sunglasses and used your own money, you need to have an adult help get some resolution to this problem. Trying to resolve it through teenager communication is not giving you the resolution you want or get the right answer to solve the mystery of the missing glasses.

Have your mom contact your friend’s mother to tell her the problem and what you believe you saw on the post. Avoid being accusatory and just ask her help in investigating the situation. Perhaps your mom can send a picture of what your glasses look like to her mom so they know exactly what you are talking about. Ask your friend’s mom to reach out to the cousin’s parent and see if they would look at her sunglasses (that’s where the picture would come in handy). Once they find the ones that look similar, have them check to see if they are Dior. If they are, see what her parents say. Show them where she direct-messaged you they were not Dior and make them aware of the possibility she stole them. Also, if she bought them and can show you where/when she got them, you owe her an apology. Most people don’t pay cash for sunglasses that expensive, so she should have some kind of paper trail of when they were purchased if it was fairly recently. There is a chance her parents or your friend’s mom will cover up for her, but that’s out of your control. All you do is ask for help to do the right thing by looking in to the situation and getting some closure regarding whether or not they were taken by your friend or her cousin.

If they are not Dior, let it go and be ready to admit you might have been wrong. Many sunglasses look similar but might not be the exact same kind. Perhaps ask her mom to see if she would send you a picture of what hers look like so you can tell the difference and see how you may have gotten confused.

A few scenarios may play out: Your friend will owe you an apology if her cousin stole your glasses; you will owe your friend and her cousin an apology if you were wrong and they are not your glasses or her mom will refuse to cooperate with your mother’s request and you will have no choice but to chalk this one up to an expensive lesson in watching your valuables as well as who you are choosing to be your friends. Getting an adult involved won’t guarantee the perfect ending, but hopefully it allows you to move on and not let this mystery bother you anymore.

Related stories from Sacramento Bee