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Dear Garamendi, please name the smelt

Lt. Gov. John Garamendi had his busiest day yet as acting governor on Monday, declaring a state of emergency in El Dorado County as the Angora fire burned near South Lake Tahoe.

But Sacramento satirist Sara Nichols has one more natural disaster she wants to put on Garamendi's plate: Naming the dying delta smelt.

With the number of smelt in the California Delta dwindling daily, the public is an uproar calling for Lt. Governor John Garamendi to name the remaining smelt.

"Let's get real," said Gloria Gussmacher, a petite resident of the Delta region, "while the rest of the state government seems powerless to stop the daily smelt slaughter, there is one man who can help--Lt. Governor John Garamendi. Please Mr. Garamendi, these smelt are going to their deaths nameless and afraid. Please Mr. Garamendi, name the smelt!"

The Lt. Governor has already established clear naming jurisdiction over whales who have made their way within the Delta region. Recently he made headlines by naming a mother and calf "Delta and Dawn" as they explored the Sacramento River.

But does the Lt. Governor have the authority to name anything but sea mammals? And who is looking into the problem?

"Frankly, I'm upset. The Lt. Governor keeps holding these press conferences and workshops to discuss what happened with the whales. But they already have names!!! Meanwhile the smelt are dying daily, and we have no idea what to put on their graves," said 10 year old Emily Stevens, an avid smelt watcher.

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