This Gold Star mother’s promise to her fallen Sacramento son is helping families grieve loss
Betsy Schultz will spend Sunday with her son Joe. She’ll tuck away a few photographs, a few memories, pick up a latte and take a drive along the Olympic Peninsula near the western Washington town she now calls home.
Memorial Day weekend is a solemn time for so many reasons, but this Sunday especially so for Schultz.
Joe — U.S. Army Capt. Joseph W. Schultz of Sacramento, Company C, 3rd Battalion, 3rd Special Forces Group (Airborne) — died on this day 11 years ago, May 29, 2011.
He was killed on a Special Operations mission in Afghanistan with two of his soldiers, their interpreter and their K-9 when their Humvee struck a buried bomb.
Joseph Schultz, Betsy’s only son, was 36.
“He was a soldier who led from the front,” Betsy says proudly. Capt. Schultz’s Humvee always led his Green Berets on patrol. “He felt like it was a message to his men — that they’re all into it together,” she said. “They were brothers.”
On Friday, Betsy remembered her son’s humanitarian spirit, how closely tied it was to his mission; the same spirit he had even as a boy at El Camino High School. He defended the underdog there, standing between the bully and the bullied, she said.
That foreshadowed an all-too brief life of public service, first in politics, working in Sacramento and Washington, D.C.; then, after the 2001 terror attacks on New York and the nation’s capital, the Army.
In Afghanistan, “He cared very much for these folks that they were trying to provide a sense of security for,” she said. “He thought if he could make a difference in one person’s life, it could make a difference for those folks.”
Betsy Schultz thinks about that often in her new chapter in Washington state, a story that extends her son’s legacy. Her Captain Joseph House in Port Angeles, Wash., on Washington’s Olympic Peninsula is a bed-and-breakfast turned retreat for grieving military families.
“For Joseph, there was something I needed to do that was different from other bed-and-breakfasts. I wanted to make a difference in their lives in a place where they could bond,” she said.
The retired Sacramento social worker began the project in 2012, a year after son Joseph was killed in action. Charitable donations, thousands of volunteer hours and even state funding over the next 10 years helped bring the home to life.
Just months ago, Betsy Schultz held an open house March 20 — Joseph’s birthday.
The house’s call: “Honoring our fallen heroes means caring for their loved ones left behind.”
Betsy Schultz remembered her son’s final tour and one of their last conversations.
“He knew he was in one of the hottest spots in Afghanistan. He said, ‘You have to promise me that if I die that you don’t die with me.’” A vow to keep moving, living and doing for others as he had.
“That’s a promise that’s been a lifesaver,” Betsy Schultz said. “Thanks a lot, Joe. You made me promise and that promise was truly a gift.”
On Memorial Day, bagpipers will play at Captain Joseph House; an ROTC honor guard will display the colors. Gold Star mothers and fathers will gather to remember.
On Sunday, Betsy Schultz will take a quiet drive with her son’s memories, photos of Joe by her side.
This story was originally published May 29, 2022 at 12:45 PM.
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