Jack Ohman

What might new email hack reveal?

More than two years of hacked emails from former Secretary of State Colin Powell were posted on a website that analysts have linked to the Russian government.
More than two years of hacked emails from former Secretary of State Colin Powell were posted on a website that analysts have linked to the Russian government. Associated Press file

Now that emails, not issues, are the main driving issue in the presidential race, Colin Powell is the latest public figure on the business end of political hacks.

Powell had his emails exposed to the world regarding his views on Hillary Clinton (“greedy, not transformational”), Donald Trump (“national disgrace and an international pariah”), Dick Cheney (“he should go away already”), Bill Clinton (“entertaining bimbos”) and Donald Rumsfeld (“should have been fired”).

Many of the leaked emails are exchanges between Condi Rice and Powell. My question is, will we see more Powell emails going forward? We have pre-obtained the emails.

To: Condi Rice minuterice@stanford.edu

Fr: Colin Powell generallyspeaking@wmd.com

Re: Trump Foreign Policy

Hey Girl: Did U see that Trump wants to shoot Iranian boats out of the water for giving us the finger? Rumsfeld wouldn’t last three seconds in his boat under those rules. Also, did you see W’s new book of paintings? He’s getting better! His last painting of Putin looked like Reddy Kilowatt. CP

To: Colin Powell generallyspeaking@wmd.com

Fr: Hillary Clinton glassceilinggal@hrc.org

Re: Your Most Recent Emails, ETC

Colin: So funny. HAHA. Will make sure you never get an honorarium ever again after Jan. 20, 2017. HRC. P.S. Can you give me the names of the bimbos? Tnx

To: Hillary Clinton glassceilinggal@hrc.org

Fr: Colin Powell generallyspeaking@wmd.com

Re: The Race

Hillary: Just kidding. You know I love u. So, in your debate with Trump, I would just ask Trump if he’s so into Putin, he should take his shirt off right here on national television like his hero. That would drive him down with women instantly. Just a thought.

My server with the bimbo addresses is down. Told you it was a bad idea. Oh, well. Best to Bill. CP

To: Colin Powell generallyspeaking@wmd.com

Fr: Bill Clinton dawgofftheporch@razorback.net

Re: Your assertions.

Colin: Listen to me! I did not have … oh, never mind ;-). Hey, buddy, you endorsed Barack last two times. Since we can’t have DJT in there (unless you want to go to Rudy Giuliani’s swearing in as Sec of State), can you give us a (tiny) hand with this? You know, the Powell Doctrine: cut it off, kill it! Love ya, Bill

To: Condi Rice minuterice@stanford.edu

Fr: Colin Powell generallyspeaking@wmd.com

Re: Little help from my friends

Condominium Ricearoni: Just got an email from Bubba asking for me to endorse Hillary. What should I ask for? If we do it jointly, that would be cool. But keep Kissinger out if possible – bad branding. CP

To: Colin Powell generallyspeaking@wmd.com

Fr: Donald J. Trump micropaws@dsm5.com

Re: YOUR VERY VERY TREMENDOUS SUPPORT

Colin you nervous mess. Kidding. You called me out as a national disgrace and international pariah (SAD!). BUT … was wondering if I could get you to fantastically endorse me, bigly. Any job you want. Wall Czar? Post-Nuclear War Government Occupation Force Commander? I WILL MAKE AMERICA AND KFC GREAT AGAIN! DJT

To: Donald J. Trump micropaws@dsm5.com

Fr: Colin Powell generallyspeaking@wmd.com

Re: The horse you rode in on

Hey The Donald: Wouldn’t endorse you if you were the last man left on Earth, which, based on how you deal with foreign policy stuff you may well be. I’m going to make an endorsement soon, and it ain’t you. CP

To: Media Representatives

Fr: Colin Powell generallyspeaking@wmd.com

Re: My endorsement

My fellow Americans: I’m voting for Donald Rumsfeld for president on Nov. 8. If we’re going to have an unprincipled Donald, let’s get an experienced one.

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