On Nov. 13, 2016, let it be known that I heard the first Christmas song at Starbucks. Actually, I heard more than one. It was an endless stream of Christmas songs, in fact.
I still have “Frosty the Snowman” stuck in my head, and now you do, too.
Look, I like Christmas. I always have, even during some rough periods in my life. I also try to separate out the spiritual aspect of Christmas from the plainly naked commercialization of Christmas.
But they’re starting it earlier and earlier each year, just as the opening salvos of the 2020 presidential campaign were fired this week even before the 2016 Electoral College has voted.
I’m not sure who’s decided all this, but a few weeks ago I read an article about how many people have already done their Christmas shopping. This would be before Halloween, people. I’m not down with this, my dear and profound love of blue Christmas tree lights notwithstanding.
Now that the War on Christmas is over, thanks to the GOP takeover of everything but the Cleveland Indians, we may be in for Christmas starting, oh, say, July 5.
Living in California during Christmas is difficult enough. It barely gets below freezing for about two weeks in Sacramento over Christmas, and next thing you know, you’re making tee times and complaining that you can’t find your new Reef sandals. And don’t get me started on the pH levels in my hot tub.
So the commencement of Christmas on Nov. 13 (and, frankly, I am sure they hauled the boxes of decorations out several days before that), seems a bit, you know, over-tinseled. Not that anyone listens to me, and not that I’m against a strong economic holiday jump-start.
When it started, the day after Thanksgiving seemed plausible. I’ll do anything to wake up from the L-tryptophan effect.
But now that the War on Christmas is over, thanks to the GOP takeover of everything but the Cleveland Indians, we may be in for Christmas starting, oh, say, July 5. We could leave up the parking lot fireworks stands and just replace them with Christmas trees.
As I sat in that Starbucks and listened to the tale of Frosty the Ill-Fated Snowman, who knew the sun was hot that day, commanding kids to run and have some fun, before, you know he melts away (makes me sad every time I think about it), I felt something else stirring in my soul.
I felt the need for more blue Christmas tree lights. You know, July 5 is coming soon.