Jack Ohman

Ohman's Unsound Bites: Bush hacking and Brown humor

--Mission Accomplished, Now Get Off Of My Cloud. The Bush family's personal email accounts have been hacked, according to the Secret Service, whose expertise does not extend to protecting their former presidents from invasion of privacy. I can assure you that if my e-mails were hacked, I would probably jump off a fiscal cliff or engage in ritual sequestration, but the Bushes seemed to handle it with equanimity. After all, who knew that President 43 was a sensitive painter of dogs and landscapes? That 411 probably doesn't hurt him at all with the Socialist Humanist Liberal Media, whose main job it is to make sure W. remains the 22nd letter of the alphabet and not a Greatest President Who Was So Very Misjudged by History. Now that I know that W. knows how to do the Google AND paint, I feel a lot better about him already, since I now know he's a fellow artist. I doubt Cheney helps him paint, either.

--Heh heh, Gov. Jerry Brown said, "fart." Generally speaking, I try to be a tasteful cartoonist and avoid the use of these kinds of words (see previous reference), but I was rather struck by (the word's) front page appearance in The Bee, and, I am sure, every newspaper in California. While this word (see previous reference) is in common usage, particularly among males on fishing trips, I was forced--forced, I tell you!--to employ this metaphor in a cartoon which ran today.

In my light defense, I did not use the word Gov. Brown employed, nor did I indicate physically, in ink, that this ever took place. Note how I have also, thus far, avoided any further extension of the metaphor, which a cheaper and tawdrier commentator would do. That being said, I'm not sure that Brown should be really blamed for the use of the word (see previous reference); this is how baby boomers speak in public. So I get it, being an older fart myself. Oops.

--Richard III, Part Deux.On my terribly clever Facebook page (Friend me, I'm co-dependent) (And, I got this book idea called, "Is It OK With You If I'm Co-Dependent?"), I ran a little contest. The game theme was, "What did Richard III first say upon exiting the parking lot?" Some of the responses were really amusing. "A hearse, a hearse, my kingdom for a hearse" was one. Another was, "Richard Disinterred" (think about it). "Now is the winter of our discount car rental." "O, I have pass'd a miserable night tonight." And so on.

I always get MacBeth and King Lear mixed up with Richard III, anyway.

"What do you mean you doth not validate?"

Again, I need validation. Co-dependent.