Jack Ohman

It’s the end of the world as we know it, and I feel frizzle frazzled...

Gov. Jerry Brown was watching CNN the other night to see how the shutdown of the U.S. Government by the 80 loon congressional hostage-takers was playing. It was duly noted that Gov. Brown, a man given more to the great books than channel surfing, is not much of a television viewer.

The governor observed, accurately, that there was a lot of “frizzle frazzle,” a phrase I had never heard before in conjunction with anything, but I really liked it. He wondered how people could make any sort of judgment about anything in government given the various ads, which on news channels typically involve asking your doctor if various deadly pharmaceuticals are right for you.

Welcome to the older TV news demographic, Gov. Brown. They are trying to advertise directly to you. And I suspect we are probably considered to be in the same demo: 49 plus. In the words of a fun song from the 1940s, “Jack, you’re dead.”

In the frizzle frazzle of cable news, you can actually find nuggets of actual information. There are some things television does that newspapers cannot: show the real-time body language of politicians as they express one line of propaganda or the other. In newspapers, we rely on the experience and judgment of a trained reporter to make an observation. On television, we can personally see if Michele Bachmann looks like a cyborg.

Or not, if you live in one of the 80 loon congressional districts.

I have to say that my very close observation of cable frizzle frazzle in the past three days has made me feel a bit frazzled (an actual word), and makes me wonder what the majority of voters in those 80 congressional districts don’t see in their congressman that I do. I have watched one after another of these guys get up and argue that the shutdown is wonderful, Obamacare is bad, and this is all about principle.

Here’s the thing: the 80 congressmen who have permitted this to happen (actually, as I noted previously, it only took 17 to actually provide the margin in the House of Representatives to do so) really ought to go all the way with this thing.

They should really shut down the entire government. Not for fun, or spite, or to force Obama to compromise, but in order to actually demonstrate the need for a national government.

But only do it in those 80 congressional districts.

Cut off the Social Security checks. Stop mail delivery. No military air defense. No air traffic control. No Medicare. No veterans benefits. No farm subsidies for tobacco. No Conservation Reserve Program.

No national government.

See how that flies for a few weeks in the enlightened 80 districts where apparently frizzle frazzle is very effective. We used to call it flim-flam, but it’s a new era.

My guess is once government was actually cut off from the Elite 80 districts, they might be feel a bit differently than they do now.

But I could be wrong. Maybe they would start up their own country, just like back in 1861.

I’m sure it’ll all work out great.

Ironically, they’re still the party of Abraham Lincoln. Maybe they’re really the Party of Jefferson Davis.