Jack Ohman

Obamacare, the NSA, Kathleen Sebelius and Canadians ...

Now that the roll-out of Obamacare has been successfully massacred in the media, let’s review a few points:

1. It’s not socialized medicine.

2. It’s an insurance exchange.

3. It was basically a Republican plan.

4. Many states have not had that many issues with their implementation.

5. It was legally passed by Congress and signed by President Barack Obama, and survived challenges all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court.

6. It’s not as well-executed as Madden 2014, which is just a video game.

7. If I were Kathleen Sebelius, I would stop thinking about a future presidential campaign.

8. I wonder if they ever called Social Security “Rooseveltcare”?

9. I’m amazed the media hasn’t called this “Obamacaregate” yet. Like, really amazed.

10. The United States ranks 33rd in life expectancy. Why?

11. Probably from stress inflicted by health insurance companies.

12. If we did have, say, the Canadian health care system, would that really be so bad?

13. Do you ever hear Canadians complaining about it? Hardly. And I know some Canadians.

14. Most of them are cartoonists, so I may have a skewed sample.

15. Canadians are like Minnesotans; they never complain about anything except the United States.

16. Canada has what amounts to a Republican prime minister. He seems cool with their health care system.

17. A lot of Republican parents I know are deeply relieved that their graduate student children can remain covered until age 26. Lots.

18. I see a lot of polls showing that if you break the Affordable Care Act down into its constituent parts, most Americans support the basic provisions.

19. If the pollster refers to the same plan as Obamacare, support runs about 10 percentage points less than when they refer to it as the Affordable Care Act.

20. I wonder why this Obamacare website seems buggy. One thing America seems to do well is make websites, and you would think that it could work as well as, for example, Facebook.

21. I wonder if Kathleen Sebelius’ Facebook page is running OK, or if it’s really slow or shows a 404 Error message.

22. Sen. Ted Cruz is covered by his wife’s health care plan through her job at Goldman Sachs.

23. I wonder if Ted Cruz’s populist supporters knew that his wife worked at Goldman Sachs, they would be so enthusiastic about him.

24. I just read an article about her. Warm, engaging. Seeks consensus. Really nice. Very collaborative, people say.

25. Opposites attract, I guess.

26. If the Republicans knew the website wouldn’t work they way it should have, they must be kicking themselves right now over the government shutdown thing.

27. You would think the NSA must have some technology they could lend Obamacare, as they can even tap into the phone of the German prime minister.

28. Who used to be a spokesman for the East German government, where they used to spy on everybody. You know. Just sayin’.

29. My computer seems to running really slow today. You don’t see me saying we should shut down Apple Computer.

30. Although it was pretty tempting on deadline this afternoon.

31. Kathleen Sebelius should run the NSA next. Then we wouldn’t have to worry about their technology running amok.

32. Hey, NSA: just kidding, guys!