Hey, vacation time is coming, and you’re probably planning to take a short rest from current events, too. Perfectly natural – I’ve noticed you’ve begun to twitch every time you hear the word “Spygate.”
But you’re not gone yet. So let’s see how well you’ve been keeping up over the past few months:
1. During his book tour, former FBI head James Comey called the president of the United States …
2. Meanwhile, the president called Comey a …
A. “Lousy litigator.”
B. “Dopey diarist.”
3. Rudy Giuliani said he might be reluctant to let Donald Trump be interviewed by Robert Mueller because …
A. “My client lies a lot.”
B. “Truth is relative.”
C. “We’re negotiating for a deal to turn this into a reality show.”
4. Giuliani told an interviewer he was very fond of Ivanka Trump and would do almost anything to protect the first daughter. On the other hand, Jared Kushner was a fine man, “but …
A. “You can have too many millennials.”
B. “He sort of reminds me of that guy whose parents sued to evict him from the house.”
C. “Men are, you know, disposable.”
5. About the money Donald Trump gave Michael Cohen for Stormy Daniels: The president explained that his lawyer got a monthly retainer he could dip into whenever somebody needed to be paid off. Trump tweeted that such agreements …
A. “Are very common among celebrities and people of wealth.”
B. “Are very common among adulterous presidential candidates.”
C. “Are just like, you know, giving the landscape guy a slush fund for weed killer.”
6. Rep. Raúl Labrador of Idaho, a leading member of the House Freedom Caucus …
A. Ran for House speaker but lost to Rep. Roger Retriever.
B. Was one of a bunch of Republican congressmen rejected when they tried for statewide office in the early primaries.
C. Appeared on a reality TV series in which he was stranded on a desert island with Gov. Butch Otter of Idaho.
7. Don Blankenship, a Republican candidate for senator in West Virginia, attributed his primary loss to …
A. The explosion at his mine that killed 29 people.
B. The fact that he’s a legal resident of Nevada.
C. Lack of support from Trump.
8. One of the two finalists for the Republican governor’s nomination in Georgia ran an ad in which he …
A. Erects a statue of an 8-foot bullet in his front yard.
B. Points a shotgun at a teenage boy.
C. Shows off a flamethrower named Sparky.
9. Mike Pence’s older brother Greg won a congressional nomination in Indiana. Earlier in his career, Greg took over the family’s chain of convenience stores and …
A. Drove it into bankruptcy.
B. Made a local business magazine’s list of 10 Sexiest Retailers.
C. Introduced a new line of Hoosier Hot Dogs.
10. The vice president himself hasn’t done well in the early primaries. In Texas, he lost an attempt to get a House nomination for a candidate named …
A. Remember T. Alamo.
B. Bunni Pounds.
C. Otter Ounces.
11. Scott Pruitt, the multiply investigated head of the Environmental Protection Agency, was questioned about using his government car’s lights and sirens to get through Washington traffic on his way to a restaurant. Pruitt responded …
A. “I don’t recall that happening.”
B. “Hey, it was Le Diplomate.”
C. “OK, from now on I'll take the helicopter.”
12. After critics claimed that Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos wasn’t showing any interest in public schools, she went to New York City to …
A. Be “principal for a day” at a middle school in Queens.
B. Have a private lunch with the city Board of Education.
C. Visit two yeshivas.
13. Former Secretary of State Rex Tillerson gave a commencement speech in which he made a not-very-subtle critique of the president, warning about leaders who seek …
A. “To conceal their kids’ shady business dealings.”
B. “To conceal their weight.”
C. “To conceal the truth.”
14. Vladimir Putin was re-elected by a whopping margin after his major opponent was kept off the ballot. But Trump called Putin with congratulations anyway, after receiving a briefing memo that told him …
A. “Be nice but maybe a little muted.”
B. “Feel free to tell him again about how you won the Electoral College.”
C. “DO NOT CONGRATULATE.”
ANSWERS: 1-C, 2-C, 3-B, 4-C, 5-A, 6-B, 7-C, 8-B, 9-A, 10-B, 11-A, 12-C, 13-C, 14-C