The start of the new year is cause for hope and optimism. Before all that good cheer dissipates, we offer these resolutions:
Gov. Jerry Brown: As I contemplate the green leaf question posed on that high school exam 50 years ago, I resolve, once more, to engage people who have legitimate concerns about my plan to build twin water tunnels through the Delta. Well, maybe I’ll put it off until after November.
Nevada Gov. Brian Sandoval: I resolve to patronize Amtrak more, Greyhound less.
Lt. Gov. Gavin Newsom: I resolve to visit Sacramento, ugh.
Attorney General Kamala Harris: I will visit Sacramento as often as Newsom does, although Hollywood is so cool.
California Republican Party Chairman Jim Brulte: I resolve to find a Republican to run for governor who conceivably might win. It’d be nice to find serious candidates for lieutenant governor, attorney general, controller and treasurer, too .
California Democratic Party Chairman John Burton: I resolve not to gloat much when Brulte fails to make good on his resolution.
TV stations: We will spend some of the millions in political ad dollars we’ll make in 2014 to report on public policy and other news that doesn’t involve weather, car chases and water-skiing squirrels. Honest.
California voters: We resolve to vote. It’s the least we can do.
Rep. Tom McClintock: I resolve to use part of my Legislator Retirement System pension to buy a house in Congressional District 4.
Mayor Kevin Johnson: I will admit that, actually, strong mayor is about me getting more power, although if the governor can put his resolution off until after the election, I can, too.
Chris Hansen: I won’t write any more checks to stop Sacramento’s proposed arena.
Arena backers and foes: We promise to stop calling each other names and releasing phony studies.
Sacramento Kings: We will not wait for a new arena to make a playoff run.
Water wasters: Even though we live at the confluence of two rivers, we will stop watering our sidewalks.
Sacramento Region Builders: We won’t push for more suburban sprawl.
Educators: Understanding that public service is a calling, we will stop trying to one-up each other by overpaying for superintendents and administrators.
UC Davis Chancellor Linda P.B. Katehi and Sacramento State President Alexander Gonzalez: We will end the silly notion that our schools ever will be football powers.
California High-Speed Rail chief Jeff Morales: I will drive at least one spike into the ground to start the railroad’s construction, as opposed to driving a spike through high-speed rail’s heart.
Caltrans: We promise to double-check our welds.
Sacramento Bee editorial board: We promise to cut McClintock and Assembly Speaker John A. Pérez a little slack.
Sutter Brown: I resolve to help Norm the Cat get in shape, and give Jack Ohman yet more fodder for cartoons.
But of course, resolutions are made to be broken, as these surely will be.