They thought he was dead. He didn’t know they existed. How Escalon twins found father
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This Thanksgiving, identical twin sisters reared in Escalon are grateful to have a father in their lives whom they believed for most of their 53 years to be dead. And he, a Manteca resident, now has caring daughters he never knew existed.
Jo Ann Beukelman of Tulare and Lee Ann Bergwerff, still of Escalon, grew up as the Van Vliet twins, adopted at 5 months old by dairy farmers John and Connie. With loving parents and siblings, the girls couldn’t have asked for a better home, they agree.
Still, at 16, Jo Ann grew curious about her biological parents. Connie knew only that the girls’ mother was Irish, their father Portuguese, and both were young at the time the twins were born.
“I had this hole that needed to be filled,” Jo Ann explained. “In an adopted family, even if it’s great, you have this hole, something missing.”
Both girls wondered if their mischievous behavior — “It was the twins” was a common refrain at home and school — reflected either of their birth parents.
Early last summer, when Jo Ann learned her granddaughter’s heart condition would require surgery, curiosity turned into a need to know. She wanted to have as much information on the child’s family health history as possible.
Several DNA tests and research help from experts with the TLC program “Long Lost Family” led to a probable father, Tony Cardoza, who’s 77. And he was right in Manteca, where he was employed nearly 40 years at the Spreckels sugar plant, doing welding, pipe cutting and other work.
But that wasn’t possible, the twins thought, because from what they’d learned about their closed adoption, their father was dead.
First in the Cardoza household to be reached was Tony’s wife, Marcia. She pressed her husband to take a DNA test, with both of them fully expecting a negative result.
When the answer came in, Marcia got the news and informed Tony. He was dumbfounded, and then even more so to learn the match was not for just one child, but for twins. Tony was on a hunting trip when the girls’ mother left him, never telling him she was pregnant, Jo Ann said. She learned who her birth mother, a Stockton resident, is and has communicated with her, but they’ve developed no relationship.
The revelation about the twins was a lot for Marcia to process, too. She quickly did the math to determine that the parentage preceded her relationship with Tony.
“Hey, you go forward,” she said Sunday as the extended family gathered for lunch at a favorite spot, Shorty’s Sports Pub & Grill in Escalon. “I had to work through it, but it had nothing to do with me. You go forward, you’ve got new family. We’re learning more all the time. Every time we meet, we pick up something.”
Tony recalls being very nervous about his first meeting with the twins, which was in August, also at Shorty’s. He was almost afraid to meet them, not knowing what they’d think of him, what Connie Van Vliet would think of him (John Van Vliet died from cancer when Lee Ann and Jo Ann were 19).
The twins also were at least a little anxious. Jo Ann said her sister worried, “What if he does drugs, what if he does this, what if he does that?”
Jo Ann fretted, too, Lee Ann said. “She was the one who talked with him (before meeting), not me. And she told me about it and said she was so worried — ‘What if it doesn’t turn out right?’ and ‘Will I recognize him?’ As soon as he walked through that door (at Shorty’s), Jo Ann was saying something, and as soon as he walked through that door, I said, ‘That is dad.’ There was no question. … I knew it was him.”
Sunday, the women playfully argued about who looks more like him, as he self-deprecatingly said both are much nicer looking.
They now have an answer about their trickster personalities, which led them to do things like swap places to take their history and Bible class tests at Ripon Christian, to ensure better marks. “All the stuff we did growing up? Totally him!” Jo Ann said.
The three marveled at all the path crossings among Tony’s and the twins’ families before they connected this summer. How in 1984, when she was Miss Escalon, Lee Ann was in a parade watched by regular attendee Tony. How Jo Ann’s daughter worked for Tony’s doctor and very well may have helped in his care. How his grandkids attend the same school as the great-grandkids he knew nothing about.
Tony’s been so happy to meet the girls, their mom, their kids and grandkids, he said, “especially when I was supposed to be dead.” Clearly proud of how his girls turned out, Tony said his hat’s off to Connie. “She was a wonderful mother for them.”
Jo Ann said Connie has been the best mom all her life, and has accepted Tony and his family wonderfully. “I can’t imagine being in Mom’s shoes.”
On her daughters wanting to find their birth parents, Connie said she saw no downside. “It wouldn’t hurt if more people loved them — more power to them, you know?” she said. “And then I was really happy to find out that it was so close by, so we could all meet together, instead of the other side of the United States.”
The twins said they’re grateful this holiday season for Marcia urging Tony to take that DNA test, and for leading the way in breaking the news to their kids. “That had to be a shock to their family,” Jo Ann said, but everyone has loved getting to know one another. Having this new family, this new beginning, is exciting, Lee Ann added.
“We couldn’t have had a better life,” Jo Ann said. “We had the best life with Mom and Dad and my brothers and my sisters. And now we share these stories with Dad Cardoza, and it just fills his heart.”
This story was originally published November 28, 2019 at 7:42 AM with the headline "They thought he was dead. He didn’t know they existed. How Escalon twins found father."
