Amy Harris, who helped write self-help bestseller, ‘I’m OK — You’re OK,’ dies at 92

Amy Bjork Harris, a longtime Sacramento resident who helped write one of the most significant self-help books of the 1970s, “I’m OK — You’re OK,” with millions of copies sold and two dozen translations, died May 29 from cancer. She was 92.

Although she is not credited on the cover of the book, Harris significantly helped her psychiatrist husband, Dr. Thomas A. Harris, produce “I’m OK — You’re OK,” her family said. The book is a guide to problem-solving through the use of transactional analysis, developed by psychiatrist Eric Berne as a way to frame perception and development through phases dubbed Parent, Child, and Adult.

“I’m OK — You’re OK” became something of a bible for the Baby Boomer generation. The title itself spawned numerous references for decades in popular culture, including in New Yorker cartoons, “Seinfeld” and “Simpsons” episodes, punk rock songs and a George Carlin routine, “I Suck, You Suck.”

The Los Angeles Times said the book “helped millions find the freedom to change, liberate their adult effectiveness, and achieve joyful intimacy with others.” Harris’s husband, Thomas Harris, was a psychiatrist who served in World War II and, in 1945, traveled to Nagasaki to help rescue American prisoners of war. He died in 1995 at age 85, after spending four decades in Sacramento in private practice.

Published in 1969, the book gained steam and remained on the New York Times’ bestseller list in 1972 and 1973 for 70 weeks.

Amy and Thomas Harris followed up with a sequel, “Staying OK” — this time with Amy Harris on the cover. The book was described as a guide to “making important changes and taking charge of your life, resolving conflicts, and rooting out the causes of worry, panic, depression, regret, confusion and feelings of inadequacy.”

Amy Lydia Josephine Bjork Harris was born Dec. 20, 1928, in Selah, Washington, to Swedish immigrants. She received a journalism degree from the University of Washington, where she served as the editor-in-chief of the UWDaily and wrote for Mademoiselle magazine.

She later served as press secretary for Washington state Gov. Arthur B. Langlie and the president of the Women’s Medical Auxiliary. In her retired life, her family said, Harris became a member of Mensa.

Daughter Gretchen Keskeys, who lives in Sacramento, said a song in honor of her mother, “Kind Heart,” would be played at her funeral.

“(My song) really describes who my mom was,” Gretchen said. “She was just that — a kind heart.”

Her family said Harris loved throwing social events and feeding empty bellies with Swedish meatballs and Potatiskorv, flitting enthusiastically from guest to guest.

“Before there was Alexa, there was Amy,” Gretchen said. “She was just a wealth of knowledge — a wonderful mixture of brilliant sophistication and gentle, kind friendliness.”

Gretchen said she would call her mother to ask about grammar or to look over a paper. Amy would drop what she was doing and come to help. If she didn’t have an answer right away, she’d find one before the end of the day.

Harris lost her daughter Heidi in the 1980s, her husband in the 1990s, her sight in the 2000s and her health in the 2010s. Her family said she never complained.

Harris was a prolific pianist and longtime member of the Fremont Presbyterian Church in East Sacramento. She could play any hymnal standard on the piano at the drop of a hat. She conducted Bible studies in her home. She could recite volumes of bible verses by heart. Her favorite Hymn was “Amazing Grace.”

“We had this special duet that we played together called ‘Country Gardens,’ ” Gretchen said. “We’ve played it together since I was 4-years-old. It always brought joy to my heart.”

Her mother was in the late stages of cancer and legally blind. Amy found the piano’s keys and sat by Gretchen, surrounded by family. They played “Country Gardens” one last time.

“The hope that she had in her heart allowed her to be so kind and gentle during some really difficult times,” Gretchen explained. “The real person comes out when you’re suffering; my mom stayed gracious to her family, friends, and nurses right up until the end.”

Amy is survived by her brother, Elvin Bjork of Salem, Oregon; daughter Gretchen and son-in-law Randall Keskeys; and grandchildren Grace, Megan and Ian Keskeys.

A funeral and celebration of life will be held at 10 a.m. June 16 at Fremont Presbyterian Church’s sanctuary, 5770 Carlson Drive, followed by a burial at East Lawn Sierra Hills.

This story was originally published June 10, 2021 at 5:00 AM.