‘We cannot bring you toilet paper.’ Don’t call 911 if you run out, Oregon cops say

An Oregon police department has been dealing with 911 calls from people saying they’ve run out of toilet paper.

“It’s hard to believe that we even have to post this,” the Newport Police Department posted on its Facebook page. “Do not call 9-1-1 just because you ran out of toilet paper. You will survive without our assistance.”

There has been a shortage of toilet paper at Costco and Giant stores, according to The Washington Post. On Friday, Amazon was down to “novelty” single rolls, the outlet reported.



The department offered toilet paper alternatives.

“In fact, history offers many other options for you in your time of need if you cannot find a roll of your favorite soft, ultra plush two-ply citrus scented tissue,” the police wrote.

“Seamen used old rope and anchor lines soaked in salt water. Ancient Romans used a sea sponge on a stick, also soaked in salt water. We are a coastal town. We have an abundance of salt water available. Sea shells were also used.”



The police also suggested using newspapers, magazine pages, grocery receipts, cloth rags, and an empty toilet paper roll.

“Be resourceful,” the department wrote. “Be patient. There is a TP shortage. This too shall pass. Just don’t call 9-1-1. We cannot bring you toilet paper.”