The supposed scandal over Kamala Harris’ cookware is too silly for me. And I’m a cartoonist
Vice President Kamala Harris is having something of a bad stretch, in the way that only vice presidents can.
The vice presidency is kind of a lose-lose job. Aside from the very cool Air Force plane rides, they have to do all sorts of tedious, dreadful things that presidents want them to do.
I won’t belabor the usual observations (bucket of warm “spit”/funeral attendance), but hardly any vice presidents have thrived under the lack of a spotlight. It’s their job to stand over there, smile, nod and wave. Maybe not even wave. Or nod. Just stand.
So it’s not a huge revelation that Vice President Harris isn’t exactly thriving. Ask former Vice President Dan “Potatoe” Quayle if it was a cool job.
For example, when not being attacked for a slight accent on the word “the” when she was in France (she speaks French, people), she got blasted for buying a $329 Le Creuset pot on the way home. Former President Donald Trump probably charged $329 per second to the taxpayers on his golf courses.
A few weeks later, Politico published a story about Harris’ preference for wire headphones versus Bluetooth. I just got some Bluetooth AirPod headphones a few days ago (I have to charge them? Why?), and I’m typing this while wearing wire headphones.
It’s not exactly a secret in California that Harris had, shall we say, staff issues while holding her various offices.
I was surprised that then-former Vice President Joe Biden selected her in 2020. My more savvy California political writer buddies weren’t. I didn’t think she could survive capping Biden in the presidential debate with the “That little girl was me” line. Biden is more forgiving than I am.
This week, the vice president told the San Francisco Chronicle that she is a victim of “ridiculous” headlines. Look, I’m a political cartoonist. I live for ridiculous headlines. Otherwise, I’d be out of a job. But this kind of stuff about the vice president has gotten a bit silly, even for a political cartoonist.
What’s next?
“HARRIS HAD FOUR DIFFERENT ELECTED POSITIONS IN PAST 10 YEARS. CAN SHE HOLD A JOB?”
“HARRIS-BUTTIGIEG RIVALRY: WHO HAS THE MOST EXPENSIVE COOKWARE?”
“WITH 2028 AND 2032 LOOMING, WHY ISN’T HARRIS IN NEW HAMPSHIRE?”
“HARRIS HASN’T ATTENDED A FUNERAL IN BIDEN’S PLACE YET. IS SHE DOOMED IN 2036?”
“WHITE HOUSE INSIDERS PRIVATELY EXPRESS CONCERNS ABOUT OTHER HARRIS KITCHEN UTENSILS”
Let’s review, for the record, some other vice presidents:
Hubert Humphrey: Was forced to watch President Lyndon Johnson use the toilet.
Spiro Agnew: Took sacks of cash while Maryland governor, pled guilty to tax evasion, resigned as vice president.
Quayle: National punchline over spelling and malaprops.
Mike Pence: Did one right thing as vice president on Jan. 6. The rest of the time, he enabled the worst president in American history.
The wire headphones and the Le Creuset pot kind of look like not that much of a deal now.
I’m not remotely suggesting that Harris get a pass. I’ve made my own database-searchable observations about her. She’s not perfect. No one is.
But if I read one more thing about her headphones, I’m going to plug in my Bell System Trimline phone and make some calls.
As for my AirPods, I’m boiling them in my mom’s Revere Ware from 1962. That Le Creuset stuff is ridiculous.
This story was originally published December 17, 2021 at 5:00 AM.