Not all bros are created equal: why Trump’s hold over young men is concerning | Opinion
Only one man could scare me like WWE wrestling icon, Mark Calaway. Now retired, he was known as The Undertaker.
From the time I was 6, I’d get chills watching his slow and methodical walk to the ring. He’d wear a long black trench coat and hat, while dark and ominous music played in the background. His image would jump off my TV screen. His finishing move, rightfully called the Tombstone Piledriver, defeated his opponents swiftly and painfully. When he pinned an opposing wrestler for victory, The Undertaker would stick out his tongue, roll back in his eyes and they would all rest in peace.
Calaway’s power and charisma spoke to me, moved me, thrilled me. I can cite his performances from memory. As a 20-year-old young guy from Tennessee, I spent my money to see The Undertaker in Atlanta in 2015. I went with my friend Craig, and we had a heck of a time. At 20, you feel things so deeply. In a way, my feelings for Calaway remained connected to that time of my life, to those feelings, until The Undertaker hurt me in a very different way than he hurt his opponents in the ring.
He endorsed Donald Trump for President.
I never thought I’d ever worry about my admiration for this man.
But this political moment did not grant me that luxury.
The Undertaker endorsed who!?
When it comes to Trump I always scratch my head because of the loyal following that he has with young men and people who appeal to young men. Trump understands this appeal and exploits it at sporting events like college football games and combat sporting events, all hotbeds of the demographic known as “bros.” Bro culture is mostly, but not exclusively, about white guys who like sports, partying and who are not always tolerant of diversity or inclusion.
Calaway’s endorsement of Trump recently made me feel guilty by association. I wondered: Am I a bro?
All of us are entitled to endorse whoever we want for president. But it still doesn’t take away from the shock that I and many other of his fans have experienced in the last week. For a split second after Calaway made his endorsement, I thought, “Should I give Trump a shot? If my hero likes him, it must to right?”
But then I remembered (it didn’t take me long) who I was trying to give a chance, a former president who incited an insurrection and who once said there were good people on each side of a white supremacist rally in Virginia.
Seeing a hero that I revere go all in with a former president who sees good in white supremacists is beyond discouraging. What would those white supremacists have done to me, a Black man, if I had crossed their path? And with Trump backing the supremacists and Calaway backing Trump, where did that leave me?
The answer is that I’m left to see Calaway, and the bros like him, in a different light. My past feelings for Calaway don’t define me as a man. My current feelings for Calaway prevent me from choosing to fall for Trump’s bro-whispering.
Most men who consider themselves bros get wrapped up in trying to be successful and use men like UFC CEO Dana White and Telsa owner Elon Musk as measuring sticks.
But in reality, the worshiping of these men shows a clear misunderstanding of what it means to be a man.
Men have to want more
Only 21% of men say they received emotional support from a friend within the past week, compared to 41% of women, according to a 2021 survey by the Survey Center on American Life. Similarly, just 25% of men say they’ve said “I love you” to a friend recently, as opposed to 49% of women.
Men are going through a mental health crisis, and they need to have leaders that care for them. And unfortunately, Trump is showing them attention, but it’s not compassion.
Trump has the bros wrapped around his finger. But there is still hope, even after the election, that men can become more than a demographic known to be easily swayed. But they will have to want it. They will have to decide that they want to more than yes men to a leader who will jump ship the second the boat goes down.
Being a bro doesn’t require me to believe crazy conspiracy theories or misinformation. It doesn’t mean that I have an unhealthy relationship with facts and truth.
Trump goes after bros because most of them don’t question him. Throughout this election, Trump has gone on wild, blatantly incoherent rants and men continue to stick with him. Hopefully, enough men will realize that the toughness that Trump promises is actually a weakness that only separates men from the compassion and care they need to feel less alone.
This story was originally published October 26, 2024 at 5:00 AM.
