Somewhere on my cable TV box, I think in the 30s, are several California Legislature public affairs channels. I know I should watch them, but I get so much of it here that I usually opt for lighter fare on television, like the Ladies Professional Bass Makeover Channel.
There are never any assigned programs on the public affairs channels, either. It usually just says, “Public Affairs.” I do think there should be some sort of descriptive listing of the programs, like these:
6:00 AM: Good Morning Senate Hangover!
6:30 AM: Morning Commute Report with Still-Tipsy Senators
7:00 A.M.: Security Matters with Kevin de León
7:30 AM: Bob Hertzberg: Waiting to Seize Power
8:00 AM: Sutter Needs To Be Let Out
8:30 AM: Real Housewives of K Street
9:00 AM: Celebrity Senator Rehab
9:30 AM: Law & Order: Senate Victims Unit
10:00 AM: Which District Should I Not Reside In?
10:30 AM: 19 Lobbyists & Counting
11:00 AM: The Sacramentalist
11:30 AM: Brown is the New Brown
Noon: CSI: California Senate Investigation
12:30 PM: Walking Sutter with Gavin Newsom
1:00 PM: I Love Lucy But I Prefer Sutter
1:30 PM: Coronation Street with Kamala Harris
2:00 PM: Extreme GOP Makeover
2:30 PM: Keeping Up With The Calderons
3:00 PM: CHP’s Funniest Senate Videos
3:30 PM: Assembly Unexplained Files
4:00 PM: That ’70s Show with Jerry Brown
4:30 PM: Flip This House: Board of Equalization Building
5:00 PM: Sutter Needs to Go Out Again
5:30 PM: Hoarders: Senior CalPERS Salary Edition
6:00 PM: Tim Draper’s Latest Awesome Idea
6:30 PM: Stories of Cal Fire Under Oath
7:00 PM: Cookin’ with Shrimp Boy
7:30 PM: The Last Word with Janet Napolitano
8:00 PM: Vacation Spots with Actual Water
8:30 PM: Say Yes to the Dressing Down with Loretta Sanchez
9:00 PM: Everybody Loves Rainy-Day Funds
9:30 PM: Sutter, For God’s Sake, Not Again, Let Yourself Out
10:00 PM: Are You Smarter Than a Chevron Lobbyist?
10:30 PM: Late Night With Some Terribly Inebriated Senators
11:00 PM: Gut ’N’ Amend!
11:30 PM: Is Frank Fats or Simon’s Still Open? Let’s Get Another Drink
Midnight: Get Fit Walking Sutter (Paid Programming)
12:30 AM: All in The Family: Senate Jobs
1:00 AM: Undercover Boss: Alex Padilla
1:30 AM: Celebrity Makeup Secrets: Kamala Harris and Gavin Newsom
2:00 AM: World’s Toughest Fixes: CalSTRS
2:30 AM: Door Scratching and Whining With Sutter
3:00 AM: Cui Bono? With Edmundi Geraldi Brownius Jr.
3:30 AM: World’s Toughest Fixes: Lake Shasta
4:00 AM: The Road to the White House 2024: Kamala Harris and Gavin Newsom
4:30 AM: Who Wants to Be a Billionaire Dilettante?
5:00 AM: Call Me A Senate Driver, I Just Had My 9th Tom Collins
5:30 AM: Sutter: You’re Driving Me Insane With Your Bladder