Jack Ohman asked, you delivered: See Sacramento’s ‘official’ songs — and sing along

I recently wrote a column soliciting songs about Sacramento because I thought that our fair city had no signature song.

Um, we do now. Lots of them.

First, there are already a few (somewhat) well-known songs about good ol’ “Sackotomatoes,” as several alert readers informed me, politely.

For example, the best-known song is by a group called Middle of the Road, and that 1972 ditty is “Sacramento, A Wonderful Town.”

What, you don’t know “Sacramento, A Wonderful Town” by Middle of the Road?

“There’s something about the people/ That everybody knows/ That gives you a tender feelin’ of confusion/ You’re feelin’ lonely but you don’t know.”

I had a tender feelin’ of confusion watching the music video on YouTube. The Scottish pop groups floats in a canal in Amsterdam in 1972, singing about Sacramento. The vocalist, Sally Carr, is very good, but it kind of seemed like a dystopian ABBA knockoff.

Then there is a very amusing group called the FreeBadge Serenaders, which did a 2010 song called “Sacramento, California, USA” — the “city by the city by the Bay,” as they put it. I highly recommend it and the group — the song is extremely clever and catchy.

More lyrics: “you’re two hours away from where you’d rather be,” and “it’s not your fault if you’re from Galt.” And so on.

However, as great as this song is, it wasn’t written to be an anthem and lacks the emotional punch of some other city anthems.

Remedy7 is a fantastic local band, and they did a song called “Terminal B,” a reference to the lovely red-rabbited Sacramento International Airport, which apparently will be pretty lonely for a while longer.

Maurice Read reminded me of Darrell Forney, a local legend and Sacramento State professor here many will remember. He also did a Les Paul-inspired song called Sacramento and it’s worth a listen, too.

Let’s go to the reader mail and their suggested songs and lyrics.

Bill Padgett did a nice little parody of “I Left My Heart in San Francisco”:

“I got cut off in Sacramento/ On a weekday in the afternoon/To be where little texting cars/Drift over near or far.”

Spencer Le Gate wrote:

“Sacramento, you’re OK/ as good as Fresno and L.A/ Just half-way, the pathway , twixt beach and snow/ Two rivers, that slither, to San Francisco.”

And:

“While sports in town a real mainstay, politics is the game to play/ The Newsoms, a twosome, are calling the shots.”

Leo McElroy wrote:

“You have never smelt a Delta/

till you get a whiff of ours.”

Genius. I love a good Delta smelt homonym lyric.

Peggy Walrath sent in a lyric from a man named Kyle Mathis, which was printed in the Sacramento News & Review in 1996:

“Hot and flat and full of lovin’/ Like a big sugar cookie fresh out of the oven: Sacramento.”

Probably particularly apt around mid-July, when those masks will be extra fun to wear while hitting those big sugar cookies.

Jerry Ockerman wrote a fine takeoff on Oklahoma!

“The Capitol Do-o-o-o-ome/Tells us we are ho-o-o-o-ome/It’s not exactly Rome/ but it’s our Sacramento / Sacramento, C-A.”

No, not exactly Rome. But it is oddly like St. Paul, Minnesota with palm trees, and I say that with Minnesota affection.

Edith Vermeij offered an homage to “Columbia, The Gem of the Ocean,” a song I got my hydrological fill of while a 28- year Portland resident.

“Sacramento, the gem of the valley/ Where gold rush and politics connive / Protected by bypass and levee / Bisected by 80 and 5.”

This is, without question, someone got connive and Interstate 5 to rhyme. Give Edith a Tony right there. Plus, she got “bisect” in. Well-played!

Angela Leslie wrote to say the group Be Brave Bold Robot also did a nice song called “Sacramento,” and the part I was able to sample sounded good.

I also just wanted to use the band name Be Bold Brave Robot. I, for one, welcome our robot overlords, who would do a far better job than the current president. Robots like science, for starters.

Mike Piazzoni name-checked Johnny Cash and Folsom Prison Blues. Folsom is indeed in the Sacramento metropolitan area, and some of the lyrics are particularly notable now:

“I’m stuck in Folsom prison / And time keeps draggin’ on.”

Go for yet another walk, I guess.

John Adkisson wrote a song called Lobbyists in Love, which I had to run simply because I love the title. Not sure what a lot of them are in love with. Chevron? Philip Morris? Anyway, John doesn’t like the Tower Bridge:

“Yellow-ochre pylons painted putrid gold/ That bridge is so damned ugly, makes this young man old.”

Hang on, John. The new bridge just upriver looks cool. I’ll make some calls on the color.

Submissions are now closed. I have decided there is no clear winner, so I will send everyone who wrote a little drawing acknowledging their contribution.

Think of it as a royalty.

This story was originally published May 27, 2020 at 6:00 AM.