My son died from a counterfeit pill laced with fentanyl. Here’s what I wish he knew | Opinion
December 27, 2020, is the date that tragedy struck my family with such force that my life will be forever marked as before and after that excruciating day. Before, I was the mother of three nearly grown children, two at universities and one finishing high school here in Rocklin. Before, I was proudly watching them soar into adulthood. After, I am a bereaved and broken mother, sharing in the milestones of my two living children while enduring the anguish of being without their baby brother.
The reason for this profound derailing of my life? Fentanyl.
Two days after Christmas, during the height of COVID pandemic lockdowns, my youngest child, my 17-year-old son, Zach, was found dead at his desk in his bedroom. When his lifeless body was taken by the coroner that day, there was no immediate answer as to why he was gone. Zach had no medical conditions, no history of substance use issues and no drugs were found in his room. His cause of death was unknown until weeks later when a toxicology report revealed that a counterfeit pill made of fentanyl killed him.
Before the lockdowns, Zach was on a remarkable path. His love of learning consistently earned him straight As. He was athletically inclined and focused that energy on soccer and track. He was passionate about music. From a young age, he could be found each day at the piano teaching himself songs from his favorite video games. Just eight months prior to his death, Zach mustered up the courage to try out for the musical at his Whitney High School. He landed the lead role of Troy Bolton in Whitney’s production of “High School Musical.”
An enthusiastic Boy Scout, Zach was in the process of finishing the requirements for advancement to the rank of Eagle Scout. But beyond all of his achievements, what I was most proud of was his character, his kind heart, his loving spirit and his compassion for others.
As you can imagine, the lockdowns were frustrating for a busy boy like Zach. Not one to stay inside or on a computer screen for too long, he was now expected to conduct all of his learning and socializing virtually. Despite these challenges, he continued doing well until that fateful winter break of 2020, when he made the out-of-character decision to experiment with a pain pill.
During the investigation into Zach’s death, his phone would reveal the transaction: A dealer marketing prescription medications on the social media app Snapchat sold Zach a Percocet pill. Unbeknownst to Zach, that “Percocet” pill was a counterfeit made with a deadly amount of fentanyl. It ended his life minutes after he ingested it, and my precious son became one of the early victims in a horrific trajectory for our state.
From 2019 to 2021, drug deaths among California teens nearly tripled, at a faster rate than any other age group. Fentanyl was present in 87% of those deaths. Stories like Zach’s have become frightfully common. Driving those numbers are fentanyl, deceptive counterfeit pills and the ability of drug dealers to connect directly with our kids through popular social media apps.
Once I learned the cause of my son’s death and got back on my feet, I went to work educating myself on this crisis. I learned everything that I wish I knew before December 27, 2020 — everything I wish my son had known, and everything I now want every caregiver and student to know.
Early in my awareness journey, I was connected with the family-run nonprofit Song For Charlie. It was founded by Ed and Mary Ternan in memory of their son, Charlie, who was killed in May of 2020 at 22 years old by a counterfeit pill. The organization’s mission of educating families resonated with me, and I quickly became their outreach coordinator. In that role, I speak at school assemblies, parent information nights, town halls and community events.
What do I tell those audiences? Fentanyl has become a health emergency across the United States, and its impact on America’s youth is growing each day. Fentanyl’s potency makes it the most lethal drug on the streets — it is 50 times stronger than heroin, and 100 times stronger than morphine. The version on the street is distinct from the pharmaceutical fentanyl used in clinical settings. While medical-grade fentanyl is made under strict quality control in pristine laboratories, illicit fentanyl is made in unsanitary conditions by clandestine operations with no oversight. This illicit version is being mixed into drugs like heroin, cocaine and ecstasy, and it’s also being mixed with binding agents, run through pill presses and stamped to mimic recognizable pharmaceutical medications like Oxycodone, Xanax and Percocet.
To young people like my son, these deceptive pills can be indistinguishable from the real thing. And drug dealers are banking on that. Young, inexperienced kids are being told that a pill is one thing when in fact it can be something far more sinister and potentially deadly. The goal seems to be to get them hooked on these pills due to the highly addictive quality of fentanyl. Counterfeit pills are cheap to manufacture, whatever a dealer can sell them for is pure profit. Popular social media platforms offer dealers an easy way to market their counterfeit products directly to our youth through their cell phones.
This crisis cuts across all demographics in our state, yet, according to a national survey commissioned by Song For Charlie, only three in 10 young Californians (teens and young adults) report having talked to their parents about the misuse of pills. Those who do say they have the talk infrequently. About four in 10 young adults in the state and only half of their teen counterparts say they are “not too knowledgeable” or “not knowledgeable at all” about the misuse of prescription pills. Meanwhile, 76% of parents say they are at least “somewhat knowledgeable” about the misuse of pills, yet less than 60% report knowing that people their children’s age are doing so.
This information gap is adding fuel to the fire of the already raging epidemic of youth fentanyl deaths. It is imperative that caregivers, teens and young adults understand that the drug landscape has changed, that fentanyl has infiltrated the drug supply and that any pill acquired outside of a pharmacy should be assumed to contain fentanyl — potentially a lethal amount.
With the goal of educating caregivers and facilitating conversations at home, Song For Charlie has partnered with the California Department of Health Care Services to create “The New Drug Talk: Connect to Protect,” a free online resource that provides families with a comprehensive and accessible way to navigate the fentanyl crisis alongside their children. I encourage everyone to visit this site, open up these conversations at home and make sure your children are aware of the dangers of fentanyl so they can keep themselves and their friends safe.
Let your legislators and community leaders know that fentanyl education is important to you. The fentanyl crisis is growing by the day and it continues to threaten our youth. Our first line of defense is knowing the facts and using that awareness to empower us to ask lawmakers and leaders to make real changes.
Losing Zach so suddenly and tragically is something from which I will never fully recover. Like every grieving parent, I relive those last days of my child’s life and try to bring a different outcome into existence. I believe that had Zach and I been armed with information about fentanyl and counterfeit pills, he would still be here with me. That is why I am so passionate about telling his story and working with others who share this mission of protecting our kids.
To quote one of Zach’s favorite songs from High School Musical, “We’re all in this together.”
Editor’s note: In September, Virgil Xavier Bordner was sentenced to 17 years in prison for the death of Zach Didier. Bordner pleaded no contest to involuntary manslaughter and two counts of selling drugs to a minor. According to The Bee, an enhancement for inflicting great bodily injury was added to his conviction.