NFL draft’s first round ... according to The Bee’s Matt Barrows

The Sacramento Bee’s Matt Barrows forecasts the selections in Thursday’s first round of the NFL draft. Quarterbacks Jared Goff of Cal and Carson Wentz of North Dakota State are expected to be the top two picks, but uncertainly reigns thereafter. The 49ers could land Oregon defensive end DeForest Buckner at No. 7 and the Raiders might wind up with Alabama linebacker Reggie Ragland at No. 14.

1. RAMS

Jared Goff, QB, Cal

Hollywood’s best-kept secret: Rock Hudson was gay. Worst-kept secret: Goff to Rams.

2. EAGLES

Carson Wentz, QB, North Dakota State

Wentz scored a stellar 40 on his Wonderlic intelligence test. Take that, Stanford quarterback Kevin Hogan (who scored a stellar 38).

3. CHARGERS

Laremy Tunsil, OT, Mississippi

Tunsil may be the best offensive tackle in the draft, but his surname is too phonetically close to “turnstile” to warrant being taken this early. Pick could be traded.

4. COWBOYS

Joey Bosa, DE, Ohio State

Jerry, this is Joey. Joey, Jerry.

5. JAGUARS

Jalen Ramsey, CB, Florida State

Jacksonville, Tampa Bay and Tennessee compose the Bermuda Triangle of the NFL. So long, Jalen. Say hello to Amelia Earhart and Luke Joeckel for us.

6. RAVENS

Ronnie Stanley, OT, Notre Dame

His 10 5/8 -inch hands are bigger than the other top-ranked tackles but still smaller than Donald Trump’s, according to the Big Hands/Big Plans Super Pac, which is in no way affiliated with Donald J. Trump.

7. 49ERS

DeForest Buckner, DE, Oregon

DeForest. DeTrees. Buckner and last year’s first-round pick, Arik Armstead, would give the 49ers two 6-foot-7 defensive ends.

8. BROWNS

Jack Conklin, OL, Michigan State

Opposing players call him “Jerk” Conklin. To an offensive lineman, that’s a lovely compliment.

9. BUCCANEERS

Vernon Hargreaves, CB, Florida

Glazer family on phone with attorney, asking what kind of tax credit Florida offers for hiring in-state.

10. GIANTS

Myles Jack, LB, UCLA

Knee-jack reaction: Good pick for Giants. They could use health on defense, have a big kneed at linebacker.

11. BEARS

Shaq Lawson, DE/OLB, Clemson

Fact: There are more draft-eligible “Shaqs” this year (five) than there are “Jasons” (four).

12. SAINTS

Sheldon Rankins, DL, Louisville

If he is selected this early, Rankins really ought to write a thank-you note to Aaron Donald.

13. DOLPHINS

Ezekiel Elliott, RB, Ohio State

Ezekiel 4:28: And He who shall be chosen here shall spilleth into the end zone and filleth fantasy football owners with fortune and mirth.

14. RAIDERS

Reggie Ragland, LB, Alabama

Reggie McKenzie is figuring out the trick to this general manger thing: spend a lot of time in Tuscaloosa, Ala.

15. TITANS

Taylor Decker, OT, Ohio State

Good news: Tennessee led the league in one offensive category last year. Bad news: It was sacks allowed (54).

16. LIONS

Kevin Dodd, DE, Clemson

Dodd has been accused of being a one-hit wonder. Actually, he had 62 hits last year, 24 behind the line of scrimmage.

17. FALCONS

Darron Lee, LB, Ohio State

Lee would be the fifth Buckeye taken in the first round. Idea: Give the Browns a year off, see what Ohio State can do in the AFC North.

18. COLTS

Ryan Kelly, C, Alabama

Quarterback Andrew Luck has taken so many hits in recent years his backup decided to retire this offseason.

19. BILLS

Robert Nkemdiche, DL, Mississippi

You know what Bills coach Rex Ryan calls an eccentric prospect who falls out of hotel windows and who wants a panther for a pet? My kind of guy.

20. JETS

Noah Spence, DE, Eastern Kentucky

Suggested title of Spence biography after his draft stock fell because of overuse of party drugs: “The Ecstasy and the Agony.”

21. WASHINGTON

Jarran Reed, DL, Alabama

General manager Scot McCloughan likes big-bodied rushers the way Flemish painter Rubens liked full-figured models. At 307 pounds, Reed is stout, powerful and Rubenesque.

22. TEXANS

Corey Coleman, WR, Baylor

Note to self: Something about staying in Texas? Maybe tie in the “Coreys” from those 80s movies? Don’t worry. The draft is not till April 28, plenty of time to think of something funny.

23. VIKINGS

Josh Doctson, WR, TCU

Doctson’s a fluid athlete but needs more body mass to handle press corners and Minneapolis winters.

24. BENGALS

Laquon Treadwell, WR, Mississippi

Bengals discouraged to discover Treadwell has no arrests, wonder how he’ll fit in with teammates.

25. STEELERS

Eli Apple, CB, Ohio State

Apple is coming out with popular new product in Pittsburgh area, the iPick.

26. SEAHAWKS

Germain Ifedi, OT, Texas A&M

Scientists baffled by two questions: How life can exist in outer space? And how it can exist behind Seattle’s current offensive line?

27. PACKERS

Andrew Billings, NT, Baylor

How stocky and low-to-the-ground is Billings? He enters rooms without opening the door.

28. CHIEFS

William Jackson III, CB, Houston

He sounds like the Glazer family attorney.

29. CARDINALS*

Paxton Lynch, QB, Memphis

Apprenticing behind Carson Palmer in the Cardinals’ aggressive, downfield offense? Lynch probably wants to go higher, but this would be an ideal spot.

30. PANTHERS

Emmanuel Ogbah, DE, Oklahoma State

Carolina was forced to get by last year with Jared Allen at pass rusher. If you see Jared, wish him a happy 61st birthday. Be sure to speak into his ear horn.

31. BRONCOS

Jason Spriggs, OT, Indiana

Denver’s goal this season: Keep Peyton Manni...uh...Trevor Siemian upright.

This story was originally published April 27, 2016 at 11:58 AM.