‘He repossessed it:’ Pastor orders the removal of a 5-year-old boy’s gravestone

A 5-year-old Hickory boy who died of leukemia last year has had his grave marker repossessed in a financial tug-of-war between his parents and a North Carolina monument company.

The boy, Jake Leatherman, made national news last November when dozens of NASCAR drivers and crew members attended his funeral, including Joey Logano, Matt DiBenedetto, and Ryan Ellis. The boy never got a chance to go to a NASCAR race, but was a devoted fan of the sport, and idolized NASCAR star Richard Petty.

Wayne and Crystal Leatherman of Hickory say they discovered their son’s grave marker was missing from Woodlawn Memorial Garden in Hickory on Oct. 9. In its place was a hole full of mud.

“He repossessed it, like it was a car,” Crystal Leatherman told the Observer’s news partner WBTV Monday. “This is my lowest point.”

Wayne Leatherman said Tuesday that he can’t visit the grave site now, because it’s too upsetting.

“Disbelief? Anger? I don’t know how to put this into words,” he said. “I had a hard time going to the grave anyway, but now there’s a hole there. It’s just wrong.”

The monument was removed after a month-long dispute over money, said the Rev. J.C. Shoaf, who runs Southeastern Monument company. Shoaf, who is also a Baptist minister, told the Observer he’s now having second thoughts about the action.

“I hated to do it. I’m not heartless and I have had a child die, so I know how it feels. But what was I to do?” said Shoaf, 73, who has been a minister for 50 years. “I thought having (the marker) would give me some leverage. In hindsight, I should have just written it up as a bad debt.”

He says he’s been in business for 56 years and this is the first time a grave marker has been repossessed.

Shoaf said he placed the marker at the grave without full payment, out of sympathy for the family’s grieving. He regrets it now. “This could ruin my reputation. Hopefully, we can get this resolved, even if I take a loss on it.”

The problem, from Shoaf’s perspective, is that Wayne Leatherman paid for one grave marker, then Crystal Leatherman came in and requested more than a dozen changes. Those changes added 400 pounds to the size of the marker and $2,500 in additional costs, Shoaf said. The costs were never paid, he said.

Wayne Leatherman says he and his wife were never told the changes would add to the cost.

“He never once brought up extra charges,” said Wayne Leatherman. “We could have paid them, if he brought them up. This is our little boy. We spent two years in the hospital with him and this marker is what my wife wanted for him.”

The couple has hired a lawyer, he said, and are considering working with the cemetery to get a new monument for their son.

Shoaf says mediation could resolve the matter more quickly. “I would hope we can find a way to meet in the middle,” he said.

However, Wayne Leatherman isn’t so sure that can happen.

“The money is not an issue. It’s the principal of it,” Leatherman said. “If I owed him the money, I would have paid it. But he came and got it. It’s hard to look at things the same.”

Response on social media to the story has included both outrage at Shoaf and support for him. Some people suggested he should have taken the couple to court, rather than taking the monument.

“Did I read this correctly?” asked Arlene Payne of Charlotte on Facebook. “How can anyone have the guts to repossess a grave stone? A CHILD’S gravestone?’

“What did it solve?” asked Joanie Scarbrough Slusser of Dallas, N.C., on Facebook. “File a judgment, take it to court. But to rip the headstone away is terrible business.”

Among those supporting Shoaf was Steven Hall, who wrote: “That’s the problem with so many people. Somehow, they developed the notion that things in life are free. Funeral homes are not a charity, it’s a business. Emphasize the word business. Death is unavoidable, shocking, sad and as painful as it may be, it is no one else’s responsible to pay for your plot, funeral or headstone.”

This story was originally published October 17, 2017 at 2:24 PM with the headline "‘He repossessed it:’ Pastor orders the removal of a 5-year-old boy’s gravestone."