In this year of political rage, one aspect that baffles me somewhat is the absolute, electrified, apoplectic, blurred-vision hatred of Hillary Clinton. Nor do I get the similar outrage expressed about President Barack Obama, who in Comment Section World makes Donald Trump look like a lovable Disney character.
I can only ascribe this Rage Against the Clinton Machine to misogyny.
Yeah. I said it (send enraged emails to my boss, Dan Morain at firstname.lastname@example.org).
Looking back on political figures, I can truly say that there are only a handful of people I could really get vein-popping angry about.
Never miss a local story.
▪ Sarah Palin (not because she’s a woman; because she’s a moron).
▪ Donald Trump.
▪ Ted Cruz (but he looks like a Care Bear now).
That’s about it, and I’m a political cartoonist.
I respected Dick Cheney as a frighteningly good pro gone bad. I thought Richard Nixon a genius who played hardball, which got way out of hand. Dan Quayle? Practically Machiavelli by today’s standards, and not at all a bad person. I don’t even think he was, you know, dumb.
But do I hate Hillary Clinton?
She certainly has provided puzzling moments. But in the words of Obama, she’s likable enough. But is she a lying murderess with cankles? You would think so, based on the emails I get.
One amateur political observer on my Facebook page called her “Lady Trump.” Another one of my regular dyspeptic penpals calls her “Hildebeast,” and derided her appearance (yeah, yeah, pal: Tell it to Dan – email@example.com).
I wrote him back, asking for a photo of himself.
He sent me one.
Hillary can relax.
Think of her worst moments: Does she exaggerate? Hmm. OK. She’s in politics. Does Trump exaggerate? Are there any Trump voters out there equally offended by his flat-out lies, or is it just the woman in the race?
Trump says that she’s an enabler of Bill Clinton. I would think anyone thinking of voting for Trump is enabling a truly mentally-ill con artist (his GOP opponents said it, not me), but let’s look at that assertion for fun.
Bill gets caught. It’s embarrassing. He has been with a bunch of other women, which isn’t exactly a Breaking News Alert for Hillary. She has even said that “Bill is a hard dog to keep on the porch.”
So she stays with him. Perhaps she actually loves him enough to forgive him. Is that enabling? If you’re in politics, everything is cynical, right? Or maybe some things are just as they appear.
If you hate Hillary for being a liar, do you hate Trump for being a liar? He lies incalculably. Do you hate President Ronald Reagan for lying? He lied about things, too. “No arms for hostages” in the Iran-Contra affair comes immediately to mind.
Do you think Bill Clinton is a rapist? Trump’s first wife said he raped her; then she recanted for some reason. Hmm. It’s about as credible as saying Bill raped someone.
Why do these guys hate Hillary? I don’t know if it’s that she reminds them of their strict mother, their Catholic school nun, their first wife, their second wife, or their lack of any female presence in their life, but this spitting, aneurysm-inducing venom is spectacularly overblown even in an election year.
She might even lose to a guy who runs (enables) beauty pageants, which is the human equivalent of a stockyard auction for women. Last poll I saw, 65 percent of GOP women will vote for this sexist clown in November.
Now that’s enabling.
Maybe John Miller can clear this up. Or Joan Miller.
But only if she’s a 10. Right?
Because women who aren’t 10s are fat pigs.
Ask Trump. He said it, not me. Aren’t you enraged yet? (Tell Dan – firstname.lastname@example.org.)