Take a deep breath and enjoy the scenery at Green Gulch Farm, a retreat from Sacramento

I keep thinking it’s fake, that people here are dressed up as monks. They’re not. They actually are monks. That’s one of the mind-bending I had to wrap my head around during my stay at Green Gulch Farm, a Soto Zen temple and organic farm an hour north of San Francisco and about two hours west of Sacramento.

Situated just off of Highway 1, Green Gulch Farm, otherwise known as Green Dragon Temple, was established in 1972. San Francisco Zen Center purchased the 115-acre property from rancher George Wheelwright with a promise the land would always remain open to the public and support agricultural awareness. Today, the property’s 7-8 acre production farm and 1.5-acre herb, fruit and flower gardens are widely recognized as centers for learning organic cultivation techniques.

An array of organic fruits and vegetables produced at Green Gulch are distributed each Tuesday to grocery stores, food banks and restaurants throughout the Bay Area. The produce is also used by the farm’s kitchen and bakery. Farm and garden apprentices, like myself, work the land in exchange for a room, board, freshly baked bread and a glimpse into Zen life.

Ten farm and garden apprentices moved to Green Gulch from all over the country, each with their own reasons for coming. Abraham Jenson, 24, grew up on a farm in the Midwest.

“I want to learn how to do work in a non-forceful way,” he said. “I want to bring mindfulness to the work. I want to learn to grow vegetables in a way that actually helps the Earth, that works with the Earth.”

“For me, I’ve lived a fast paced life all my life. I want to learn to slow down,” said Teddy Gonzalez, 28, a Bay Area local.

Every morning at 5 a.m., a resident rings a loud bell through the halls, leaving no chance for anyone to sleep through the first of two daily meditation periods, called Zazen. For nearly an hour, everyone sits still, legs folded in lotus or half lotus, eyes open, facing a white wall.

“Just sit,” said our practice leader. “You can count your breaths, but mostly just sit.”

I spend a lot of my time wondering what I’m doing here. I’m not a farmer; I’m less of a Buddhist. Writing and running have been my practices. Sitting still? Never.

Nonetheless, every impossibly early wake-up call finds me dutifully bundled in 14 layers of warm clothes, ready to face the pitch-black of morning. I clutch my meditation cushion like a life preserver and sleep walk out to the zendo, or meditation hall, taking my place on the concrete outside the building.

An hour before sunrise, and 15 minutes into the meditation, my knees ached and feet fell asleep. The rest of me fell asleep. Eyes open, breathe. One …

When the time came for chanting, I was on the wrong page and bowing in all the wrong places. I smile. Meditation brought my mind to a funny place, imagining implausible situations for much of the time.

Do nothing, I remind myself. Resist the urge to break out laughing: I’ve just done the thing, that is, tell myself something. I want to giggle.

As the darkness gives way to dawn, an owl swoops in overhead, unseen by the congregation inside, on her way home for a night’s hunt. A bell rings. Sweet relief as I bend my knees, stretch, stand and bow before heading to the fields for a day’s work.

COVID-19 brought the world to a standstill, challenging me to accept a new pace of life. Unexpectedly ripped away from the life I had built abroad, I returned to my hometown. My mind raced faster than ever, even as I physically stayed in place. As pandemic restrictions begin to lift around the United States, I feel the need to begin anew. I want a reset, to start again, to give myself the time to compose myself. Until then, I will be seated in Zazen, focusing all my energy on my next breath.

San Francisco Zen Center offers a wide variety of public offerings, including Dharma Talks and meditations, that are currently available online at https://www.sfzc.org/offerings.

Outside of COVID-19, Green Gulch Farm often invites the public to join in free guided meditations and talks on Sundays. Check the website for updates on when the center will re-open to the general public.

This story was originally published May 10, 2021 at 10:52 AM.