I wrote about my mental health and got called a ‘beta.’ It’s why men struggle | Opinion
Well, it didn’t take long for my point on men’s mental health to get lost.
I don’t take myself as a glutton for punishment, so I tend to keep out of the comment sections of my written work, but when a friend of mine told me about the circus that was unfolding under my piece, I couldn’t help but check.
And, y’all had a lot to say. Not all of it was bad. Some people were actually thankful that a man expressed their emotions with vulnerability and compassion.
But then, there was the other side.
“Beta male for sure,” someone wrote. And I even had someone question whether I was a man. Yikes.
All of this because I shared the mental health battle that I faced and the journey I went on to get better, during a month about men’s mental health no less. While thinking about the weird feedback I got, I thought about what an “alpha” male looks like. But luckily, I got a real-life example.
Enter Ken Powell, dean of students at St. Hope Public Schools in Sacramento. In his free time, he runs a YouTube channel, labeling himself as “Mr. 1950,” his alpha male alter ego.
Here’s what an alpha male thinks a woman’s place is.
“You want to outdo my resume of women. You want to outdo every experience that I’ve had. You want my eyes to stay focused on you so much that you’re going to make sure that that lettuce is washed, that that tomato is sliced and placed perfectly, and not only are you gonna do it, you’re gonna do it with a smile. “And then when you’re done, I’m gonna spank that ass and get up and I’m gonna stand over you, because I’m sure you’re about 5’3”, and I’m gonna stand and I’m gonna look down at you. I’m gonna grab your chin, I’m gonna kiss those lips, and you know what you’re gonna do? You’re gonna say, ‘anything else?’”
Is this the man you want? A man who sees a woman’s worth only by the chores she does and the blind allegiance she gives? Powell is the leader of young women and men. What good lessons does a young man learn from seeing Powell’s videos? They will only cloud their mind with dangerous rhetoric of what it means to be a man, like that to be with a woman, you have to control them. That’s wrong.
Emotional intelligence looks good on men
Now listen, If there’s anything I’ve learned in my 31 years of life, it’s that there’s somebody out there for everyone. So Mr. Powell will probably find someone wanting to submit to him. But that idea submission shouldn’t be seen as a requirement of a woman, nor should a man’s masculinity be called into question because they choose not to see their partner in that way.
Let me be clear, this kind of hatred is what causes men to harm themselves. The CDC reported in 2023 that he suicide rate among males was four times higher than the rate among women. Though men make up only 50% of the population, they are 80% of suicide.
How many of those suicides could’ve been prevented by breaking down the walls that society told them to fit in?
Emotional intelligence does not make me a beta, it makes me a man who can depend on himself. Who can be honest with himself about what he’s going through.
This story was originally published June 18, 2025 at 5:00 AM.
