California teen: “I hated being me” on social media. Simple reforms can change that

My parents and I never had a talk about rules for using the phone I got at the end of sixth grade. My parents didn’t have social media growing up, and they had no idea how those virtual platforms would affect my state of mind, self-esteem and well-being.

As I started using social media apps, I soon realized there were no instructions on how to use them. It felt like a social game everyone was playing with numbers and popularity scores — and no one to turn to when things went wrong.

From the moment I opened these apps, I started seeing photos of myself that others had uploaded of me ridiculing every aspect of my body — calling me “fat,” “ugly” and “it.”

Then, in middle school, I was diagnosed with Alopecia Areata, an autoimmune disorder that leads to significant hair loss. While I was reckoning with this reality and the challenges that came with it, I was continuously presented with pictures of skinnier, blonder, prettier girls that I would never be on social media.

I felt targeted. It felt like the apps were manipulating me every time I tapped the screen or received a push notification. The longer I scrolled, the worse it became. I couldn’t stop.

I was left with a dilemma: use social media to stay relevant with my peers but feel disgusted with the constant social comparisons, or not use social media and become an outcast. No matter what I chose, I felt like I was losing.

I hated being me, and these companies knew it — they profited from it.

Unfortunately, my story isn’t unique. We know from Instagram’s own internal research that the platform is exacerbating body image problems for one in three teen girls — 6% percent of teens in America link suicidal ideation to the platform.

As I got more involved in student organizations advocating for social media reform, I realized that it wasn’t my fault — or my parents’ fault — this was happening.

It’s the companies who are at fault. They are the ones intentionally building platforms to nudge us into risky behaviors. They recommend harmful material and encourage compulsive behavior. Young users like me have no idea how to raise our concerns to these companies.

We need real safety guidelines for social media. It’s not good enough for companies to say social media is safe for most kids. We don’t allow other products on store shelves — whether it’s bike helmets or automobile parts — unless we’re sure they’re safe for everyone. That’s the same standard we should uphold for technology products.

Social media platforms must be designed and built with the safety of kids at the top of mind. That’s why I’m traveling to the State Capitol on April 19 to advocate for the California Age Appropriate Design Code — legislation introduced by a Republican and a Democrat to ensure companies prioritize kids’ safety and privacy in the design of all their products.

The legislation limits social media companies’ ability to collect kids’ data, sets stringent privacy settings for kids and makes clear to all users — especially young people — the resources available to report abusive users or block unpleasant content.

Without these simple but effective steps to protect kids on social media, I fear more and more young people will fall into the vicious cycle of damage to our physical and emotional health that I’ve been through. We simply can’t afford to do that. We need the Age Appropriate Design Code in place to set common sense guardrails for the well-being of kids.