Families speak after Fair Oaks domestic violence ends in death: ‘Look for those red flags’
Sahara Lowry left work early and in a rush on the morning of March 22. She didn’t tell anyone where she was going.
Hours later, Lowry and her boyfriend, Christopher Eddy, were found dead with gunshot wounds in the driveway of a Fair Oaks home.
Nate Dutra, Lowry’s brother, said the family never saw it coming. They also only learned in the days after Lowry’s death that she had endured threats of violence from the boyfriend she was trying to leave, he said.
Law enforcement has offered few details of what transpired between the two in the driveway of Eddy’s home that morning. However, Dutra said his sister arrived at Eddy’s home and without warning was shot dead before Eddy took his own life.
“Her purse was still in her car. Really, it happened so fast,” Dutra told The Sacramento Bee. “He shot her, then he shot himself.”
Mark Eddy, Eddy’s father, said Sacramento County sheriff’s detectives made it clear to him that his son fired the gun that morning. He and his wife are struggling with believing their son could’ve done something like that.
He said the young couple always seemed very happy, but he was aware of relationship problems.
“We loved Sahara like she was one of our own, and we’re grieving for both of them,” the father told The Bee.
Reports of domestic violence cases are on the rise across the region, a trend mirrored nationwide, according to law enforcement officials. In 2020, eight victims lost their lives in domestic violence homicides in Sacramento County, two of whom were killed in a murder-suicide situation. The year before, in 2019, eight more people died as a result of domestic violence, including one woman who was shot in her home by her ex-boyfriend before he turned the gun on himself.
Cases that are ruled murder-suicides are difficult to analyze, the Sacramento County Domestic Violence Death Review Team said in a 2019 report. Since they leave behind no living survivors and therefore not much in the way of a criminal investigation, it’s often hard to understand the circumstances leading up the event without the help of family members, the report said.
The fatal shooting on Rabeneck Way
Lowry, 23, and Eddy, 24, both of Fair Oaks, died shortly before 9 a.m. just outside the home in the 5100 block of Rabeneck Way, near Hazel Avenue, according to the Sacramento County Coroner’s Office.
A mail carrier stopping for a delivery about 10:20 that morning found them. Sacramento County sheriff’s officials said there was blood around them on the driveway. Deputies arrived and found two bodies in front of the garage, along with a gun.
Sgt. Rodney Grassmann, a Sheriff’s Office spokesman, said homicide detectives do not believe any remaining suspects were involved in the shooting and are still working to determine what exactly happened.
Dutra said Eddy always appeared kind and caring in front of others. Sahara’s family never saw any signs she was the victim of an abusive relationship until they found threatening text messages on her phone.
“We really had no idea of the hate he was able to show,” Dutra, who is deaf, said through an American Sign Language interpreter. “I don’t think Sahara even knew he had a gun.”
Her brother said he wants people to know what happened to his sister, hoping others in abusive relationships will seek help and call authorities when someone is threatening to harm themselves or someone else. He said his sister kept silent about her relationship, never telling her family or friends about her boyfriend’s threats of violence.
“Look for those red flags, those warning signs. They may not always show up,” Dutra said. “You need to be safe.”
He says his sister’s relationship had been “on and off again” in the month before the shooting. At that point, Lowry already told Eddy that she wanted to end their relationship.
Signs of escalating domestic violence situation
Lowry and Eddy’s relationship showed signs of an escalating domestic violence situation in the days leading up the shooting, according to Joyce Bilyeu, director of client services at the Sacramento County Family Justice Center and member of the county’s domestic violence death review team.
“Most (domestic violence) homicide/suicides are perpetrated in an intra-familial setting and occur in the context of recent separation,” she said in a statement to The Bee. “... What we do know is that the deadliest time for a woman is when she tries to take back control and leave that relationship. In many of the case that the Sacramento County Death Review Team reviews, the victim was in the process of leaving the abusive relationship therefore, resulting in either homicide or homicide/suicide.”
“This is because the more control the victim takes in her life the more out of control he is liable to become,” she added.
Text messages obtained by The Bee indicate that Lowry’s attempts to cut ties were met with anger and violent language from Eddy.
“The abuse may be physical, emotional, sexual or financial,” Bilyeu said. “Regular threats of suicide are a form of emotional abuse and part of the power and control cycle of domestic violence.”
Access to a firearm is another significant risk factor, she said.
Lowry’s brother said he wonders if his sister felt somewhat guilty about wanting to move on with her life. Lowry and Eddy had been together the weekend before the shooting. Her brother said they had celebrated her birthday together that weekend.
“It just wasn’t a clean cut; it wasn’t a clean break,” Dutra said.
Threatening text messages
Dutra and Maura Hennelly, Lowry’s longtime friend, discovered text messages on her phone after her death. They said Eddy told Lowry in those messages in early February that he was having suicidal thoughts and claimed she was cheating on him.
“I’m having suicidal thoughts please stop contacting me,” according to the text messages provided to The Bee.
“Please take care of yourself ... Please let me talk to you in person later,” Lowry replied in the text messages.
“The only image of you I have is your dead whore body in a ditch Your memory is forever a s--- stain on my life,” Eddy told Lowry followed by text messages in which he called her “a disgusting human.”
Dutra and Hennelly said it appeared Lowry stood up for herself in a following message to Eddy, making it clear she did not deserve his abusive language.
“You have every right to be angry with me, but those last texts you sent were not okay. I did not do this to deliberately hurt you,” Lowry told Eddy.
In following text messages, Eddy claimed Lowry cheated on him with another man and told her he was glad he didn’t buy a promise ring he was going to give her.
“Ur (sic) lucky I’m stable enough to not come find you and put a bullet in both your heads ... Because that’s what I f------ want to do,” Eddy told Lowry in the text messages.
In a text message to Eddy, Lowry wrote “I want to see you face to face but for my safety that won’t happen. I never, ever thought I would hear such violence out of your mouth. I know you’re hurt, but I just really didn’t think it was possible for you to tell me you want to put a bullet in my head. I do not feel safe around you, especially since it’s been hours since those texts and they weren’t taken back.”
“Oh gosh if you think I actually would you don’t know me very well ... Yeah those words were very wrong and I’m hurt and don’t mean them,” Eddy told Lowry.
Hennelly said it’s heartbreaking to read those, since it’s clear to her that her friend was worried Eddy might harm her or himself. That’s why it’s frustrating to know she left work suddenly that morning in late March without telling her family or friends.
“She really was a safe person,” Hennelly told The Bee. “She just trusted someone, and he broke that trust.”
Hennelly believes Lowry wanted to end her relationship with Eddy without hurting him, so he could move on with his life as well.
“She wanted to better her own life and she wanted to better Chris’ life, too,” Hennelly said about Lowry, who she’d known since high school. “She wanted to live her own life as a single person.”
No indication of suicidal thoughts
Eddy worked at a Petco store and had not decided whether he wanted to attend college, his father said. He was still searching for his path. He lived with his brother in the Rabeneck Way home owned by their father for the past few years.
Eddy’s father says his son had a kind and gentle soul, and he treated Lowry well. He thought they would get married.
He says his son told his brother Lowry cheated on him. That led to Eddy becoming upset and crying over his relationship with Lowry, his father said. But he said his son told his family that the couple was “working things out.”
Mark Eddy said his family never saw any indication that his son was having suicidal thoughts, but they all feel like they could’ve done more to help him.
“We thought he was getting over it,” the father said. “We never expected anything like this to happen.”
Like Lowry, Eddy went work that morning in late March before suddenly leaving, his father said. His family doesn’t know what made Eddy leave work that morning. But the couple met on the driveway at Eddy’s home that morning.
Eddy’s brother was asleep in the house when shots were fired outside in the driveway. His father says he doesn’t know why Eddy’s brother didn’t hear the gunshots. Sheriff’s officials have said nearby construction might have kept residents from hearing the gunfire, which is why the couple was found about an hour after the shooting.
“It’s a parent’s worst fear. It’s not something we’ll ever get over,” Mark Eddy said. “It’s a terrible tragedy. Nothing will ever make it better.”
Family creates Sahara Hope Foundation
Lowry was a student American River College, working toward a possible career as a counselor, therapist or psychologist. She worked as a teller at a Roseville Bank of America, where she was promoted to a banker position not long before her death.
She was a strong supporter of her brother’s career, encouraging him constantly as he earned his doctorate degree. Dutra teaches ASL and deaf studies at Sacramento State University.
“She was genuine. She really wanted to know how people felt,” Dutra said about his younger sister.
At an early age, Lowry and her mother formed a close bond over their love of dog show competitions and working with Australian Shepherds. Dutra said his sister’s death has created a lot of anguish for his family. They have shared their grief on Facebook.
“We’re not going to let him destroy us,” Dutra told The Bee. “Everyone is going to rally around each other.”
Lowry’s family established the Sahara Hope Foundation in her honor. They want people to understand what happened to her, but they don’t want her life to be defined by an act of violence, according to the foundation’s website that includes a list of resources to help those suffering from domestic violence or having suicidal thoughts.
“I can’t explain the pain we’re feeling,” Hennelly said about the death of her friend. “I feel so lucky to have been her best friend for so long. Everyone who knew her is devastated right now. This is a loss that’s unimaginable.”
Dutra said his sister was a strong and independent person who stood up for herself. But he said she needed help to deal with these threats of violence, and so do others in the same situation.
“If it can happen to Sahara, it can happen to anyone ... they had a very ordinary relationship,” Dutra said. “That scares me. It just makes me sick.”
This story was originally published May 28, 2021 at 5:00 AM.
