There are opportunists and scoundrels in Sacramento. And then there is Kevin Kiley
Rocklin Republican Assemblyman Kevin Kiley, who came in sixth in the recall election behind Professional Bloviator Larry Elder, two other men named Kevin and a Democrat named Brandon Ross (Let’s go, Brandon!), is now asking his supporters (name them) if he should run for Congress or governor next year.
Kiley sent out a letter polling his sliver of the electorate on what he should do going forward. These letters are always cloyingly coy, and Kiley’s is no exception.
“In both Sacramento and Washington, we need representatives who will fight back against corruption, ineptitude, and radicalism — and fight for the principles that have made America the greatest country in the world,” Kiley wrote.
Kiley could fight against corruption (Trump), ineptitude (Kevin McCarthy) and radicalism (Trump plus 70% of the GOP and QAnon) in his own party, but that would be, you know, self-aware.
Kiley is a very smart guy on paper: Granite Bay High School valedictorian, Harvard undergrad, Yale Law. All those shiny degrees have, apparently, led him to insist that vaccine mandates are wrong and to refuse to acknowledge that Joe Biden was legitimately elected president of the United States.
The thing is, he knows better. Kiley was for former Ohio Gov. John Kasich in 2016, which was a perfectly decent and acceptable call. Then the Trump bomb cyclone made landfall and Kiley forgot all about his education because, you know, extremism is mainstream in his party now.
Maybe Kiley should write a letter that reads more like this:
“Dear Supporter:
“As I throw my fancy education out the window in place of utterly craven political expediency, I am writing you today to discuss my future plans.
“As you may have read, Rep. Ami Bera, the radical communist congressman who is a stalwart in the bipartisan Problem Solvers Caucus, may be vulnerable after redistricting. After deep thoughts about representation in America, I came to the inescapable conclusion that America needs another white guy from Harvard and Yale in Congress.
“My service in the Assembly has basically consisted of hectoring Gov. Gavin Newsom (when his whereabouts are known). Consequently, I don’t want to be one of 19 Republicans offering constructive, contrapuntal conservative ideas in Sacramento when I can go to Washington and become part of the Trump-enabling mob.
“Sure, Congress already has Missouri Sen. Josh Hawley, but can you ever really have enough Ivy League populists with remarkable hair and LOUD VOICES?
“As for running for governor, my strong showing of nearly 16% of the replacement vote in the county I represent, Placer, suggests strong statewide potential.
“Can I call upon you to send me some money to help me in this effort to prolong my political career?
“As an apartment-dwelling cattle rancher, I know the problems of this new district. I am reliably told that I can live in Rep. Tom McClintock’s house in Elk Grove if I need to, and then I don’t have to run against Brian Dahle ever again.
“If I run for governor, I give you every assurance that I will finish well above sixth place in the primary. Furthermore, I will work hard to learn all the dog whistles that Glenn Youngkin used in Virginia.
“Naturally, you can rely on me to be a steadfast defender of democracy until I get to Congress.
“Sincerely,
“Kevin Kiley
“Candidate for Whatever 2022”
This story was originally published November 12, 2021 at 5:00 AM with the headline "There are opportunists and scoundrels in Sacramento. And then there is Kevin Kiley."